My wife is annoying me

[Captkev]

I'm 8 months pot op. I've lost nearly 120 pounds and feeling great, the weight loss will stall then start back I'm learning how my body is working better everyday. I've never measured my food, and I've never lost my appetite. All along I've followed my docs instructions and it's worked great, but my wife is just convinced I'm over eating, that my portion sizes are to big. I try to explain to her that there's no magic number or amount, I eat until I feel satisfied and stop. I can eat different amounts on different days and different amounts of different types of foods. I do try and count or estimate the calories I eat and I think on a day I eat a lot is about 1200 calories a day. I just want to know is there any diagram or info I can show her to prove I'm not stretching my sleeve. Anyone else ever dealt with a concerned loved one like this?

[sraebaer]

Can't she see what you are doing is working for you?

(When my 89 year old mother threw a fit that I had a glass of wine, "Don't you know how many calories that is?" I answered with, "Can't you see I've maintained a 75 pound weight loss for 16 months! I know what I'm doing!!!")

[terrora]

For a man 1200! Is starvation that is what I kept at too. What I learned early on was my journey is different then anyone else's. My doc cut out 75% of my stomach. I could eat more than my friend at 6 months and she was out 10 months. Her doc. Took out 85% of her stomach.
At 4 months I could eat a MacDonalds regular burger. Now I may be able to eat 1/12'of my meal and some days I can eaT 1/8.
Tell her to research and let you figure out your own journey. At a year out Sept 24 I certainly haven't got it figured out yet it is taking me a long time to figure out what to eat.

[Ann2]

Captkev ... big-time congrats. Sounds like you're doing great.

At 8 months out I was eating 1200 cals/day, too. I hit my goal weight at 8.5 months. Then I started adding 100 - 200 cals every few weeks. My nutritionist, exercise consultant, bariatric PA and I all guesstimated that (based on my basal metabolic rate - you can estimate this in various ways, e.g., using My Fitness Pal) that 1700 cals would probably be a good maintenance budget for me.

And it's working! I'm now maintaining at 143 pounds eating an average of 1700 cals/day.

You can ask your wife to read this post I made about how my journey went.

Also, tell her that we all have different metabolic rates, and we just have to figure out what works best for each of us. Sounds to me like you're doing that.

Hullo, Captkev's wife

[LadyLitteRock]

Hi Captkev, congrats on all your success thus far, that's a lot of weight loss. I am a recent sleeve, but from what I can see from others posts and my personal research, people are consuming 1200-1800 calorie daily with maintaining their exercise too during all their phases. I think we need to find what works for us. I can tell already, that sometimes I am eating/drinking more on some days than others. I think that is common as well, from what I read.


Good Luck and continue success

[niki k]

I think it is different for everyone. But take her to your nutritionist's appointment, or your doctor's. Whichever, to set her straight. If you are not gaining, I don't know why she would make any comments. if you start gaining, then maybe listen to her.

[Dec2015?]

Congrats on your amazing result! I think you're the best judge for the situation you know yourself if you feel that what you're eating is fine and not too much you should stick to it! We all know what too much feels like!! Don't give up and tell your wife she needs to believe in you! You have a lot to be proud of!!

[Captkev]

Thanks for the positive feedback everyone. I honestly think what's getting her all mixed up is we have a close friend who had this surgery probably near 2 years ago and she seems more restrictied than me. I personally think it's because she's a 50 year old female and I'm a 31 year old male so I'm sure that's bound to make a big difference. It's hard to describe "feeling full" now, and if she just understood what over doing it felt like she'd know there's no way I'd personally push that feeling again. I don't see the dr for a while but I'll try and bring her along next visit.

[Midas]

You could log your food intake into My Fitness Pal to monitor your calories. I put it off for a while because it sounds complex but it's really pretty easy. It helps me stay on track and aware.

[Ann2]

Captkev -- everyone's metabolic requirements seem so varied. FYI, I'm nearly 70 years old and active, but definitely not a gym rat. Frankly, I'm shocked I can eat so much and still maintain my weight. Would NEVER have predicted this.

My point is you should treat yourself like a science experiment with a test sample of one. You're the only one whose results matter in your science experiment. And your outcomes may differ significantly (not just in calories, but in macronutrient needs --proteins, carbs, fats, etc.) from others, whether they're the same/different gender, age, activity level.

Life is not fair. And we are stuck with some of the cards we are dealt. First thing to do is to look at your hand. Then see if you can trade some cards in for better ones. (I stretched that metaphor too far ... sorry.)

Good luck.

[glsouth]

Great job on the weight loss. Like Ann said, maintaining is an experiment and only you know your body. In fact, my wife was telling me when I got down to 164 lbs, she told me that I was too skinny and I had a hard time trying to increase my calorie intake. Some days I could eat a lot and some days I would leave almost the whole meal on the plate. (Side note: leaving food on a plate is really messing with my head.) I have gained 10 lbs back and I am still below my goal weight. I have been maintaining at that point for over 6 months now. My wife said that I look good and healthier now. She makes sure I get my protein in lets me know to watch out if I start to snack on a slider food. She has been very supportive of me through my process. But I have the benefit of her going through the Lap Band over 7 years ago and she has lost over 100 lbs and has maintained all this time. I am a lucky man.