Why do people have to say things like that?

[niki k]

Some people don't think before they speak. Or don't worry about their deliverance. This surgery is about you. You don't need her approval. I had the same problem with my sister-in-law. But she is fine now. FYI- You will find when you start losing a ton of weight, that all of a sudden people will ask you how you did it... I go with my gut! I just tell the truth, I eat small portions, work out regularly, stopped drinking pop, etc... depending on the person I sometimes I tell them that I had this surgery that allows me to do that! Good luck on this journey!

[Firebreak]

I haven't read the whole thread, so this is mostly in reply to the OP. One thing to remember is that a lot of people who have never had an obesity problem, do not understand what it's like to have one. They just don't comprehend what we go through, or why the solution is not as simple as they believe. While in such a state of mind, they tend to say hurtful things without realizing it.

Click my profile and check out the blog entry I made a while back. It was kind of a heartfelt confession of how I believe others perceive me and people like me.

[MsHarry]

Well said BigJ, thank you for keeping it real!!

[SunnySDk]

Sadly, many of us here completely understand your situation and I'm sorry you had to experience it. I have only told very few people besides immediate family and the worse part is i didn't tell my own father and step mother. I have been with them as they loudly chastise bigger people or make hideous snide remarks. I didn't want them undermining the decision I made and making me feel bad so I withheld it from them. In fact tomorrow I am going to over to tell them because I don't like lying....but I needed to withhold it from them until I was ready. Not them. Me. Just remember this is YOUR journey and YOUR story to tell to whomever you decide is worthy of hearing it. This process is NOT the easy way out either, people are so ignorant. Continue to be strong. Follow your path and lean on those who are deserving of your time. And this forum is a life saver. You got this!!!!!

[Ann2]

SunnyDSk ... just want to say before you tell two people who've never understood your weight issues or been respectful enough in your presence not to insult you, that you really DON'T have to tell them now either.

That feeling you have that you've been lying to them, in my humble opinion, that's something else you're feeling.

You DO have the right to withhold information about yourself, your issues and your experiences from anyone. That's not lying. That's your inalienable right as an adult to control any information about yourself.

If you read WLS forums a lot, you will find many posts and threads by WLS patients who wish they'd never told any unsupportive people about their WLS.

As always, others' mileage on this topic do differ. Considerably.

[SunnySDk]

Ann2 thank you for the reminder. I agree with you and this surgery is a very personal decision. I'm dealing with insecurities that clearly preceded this decision and it will be a struggle for some time. Because of my relationship with my father I felt the need to tell him (it went way better than anticipated by the way) but that is again a very personal nothing to do with surgery issue. As for anyone else, I agree with you wholeheartedly and loving the building confidence I'm finding.

[Ann2]

Glad to hear your conversation with your dad went well.

Onward and upward.