For those just starting out...

[Babs4531]

Some friends have asked me to re-post these words I wrote. When thinking about what you will be giving up in the way of food... I will put this out there again. For the right frame of mind can go a very long way.

For what it's worth...


Hi friend,
So I need to talk to you for a minute. No... I don't know you. But I have something to tell you.

I have been at a healthy weight now for a little while. You can look at the before and after pictures after you read this...OK?

Prior to my surgery I ate KFC and a few others thinking it would be the last time in my life so I better go taste it one last time... I went into the surgery with the notion that the surgery was going to make it easier to deny myself all the foods I really love but know I shouldn't have, so I could lose weight. Now I am looking back and you are helping me do so. You are saying and thinking the way I did on my way into surgery and early on after my surgery and I can now see how far I have come in my thinking. Allow me to take a moment and reflect, so maybe you may hear some words that may encourage you to stick with the plan the best you can and love the changes in yourself whatever they may be.

Going into surgery I was thinking it was all about what I was no longer going to have. I thought about the foods I would no longer get to eat. I was really frightened that I would just let myself down again. Crazy, crazy fears about food and disappointing myself yet again.

Then I had the surgery... I stuck to the plan religiously for just a few weeks. Really, it only took about two weeks to see the weight really pouring off. That was so encouraging that I actually wanted to stick to the plan for just a little while longer and take off just a bit more since it was not killing me for a minute and I could. The weight came off fast enough for me to want to see what one more day would do... I had changed my mind and I noticed. That is so critical. You have got to notice every little change you go through. For me, right there, it was not about getting KFC it was about getting to see the scale say something different the next day. I really wanted that and I was getting it. I wanted it more than KFC!!!! Really?

I wanted to change. That was why we have the surgery, right?

Someone told me early on after surgery an Einstein quote that stuck to me to this day. Here is the quote and here is why...

"If you always do what you have always done, you will always be what you have always been."

Changing my mind has come in many, many small, and I do mean small ways. It has been about noticing those little changes and feeling good about them. You just helped me do that when I read your post. I still want those foods. I crave them sometimes and I even get them once in a while. Turns out that now I can order what ever I want off the menu. Surprisingly now, I have the first few bites and think, Really? this is what I was thinking about missing back in the beginning when I was thinking about having the surgery? This is what I was focused on after surgery? What food I would have to deny myself?

After the first few bites I get it... I would rather look and feel the way I do now more than I want that KFC. Talk about CHANGE.

When I had my days and sometimes months of no weight loss I thought about this quote and noticed the changes. For example, I might not have been losing weight at the moment but look at my closet. All of my clothes were too big and I had yet another trip to Goodwill with bags of clothes. I had to notice the good changes happening. They were always happening, I just had to stop and notice them. If the weight loss stopped then I had to make new changes. That became the game. When things stalled, I made changes. Sometimes I changed what I was eating, sometimes I changed my exercise. Whatever... I would change something and a few days later I could see and feel it.

I really understand that if I look to do what I used to do, I will look and feel like I used to. I don't want that. Do you?

If I could impart any wisdom at all for those just starting out it is this...

Cut yourself a break. Don't kill yourself for eating the wrong thing once in awhile. Instead try to notice your own successes and little changes more than you focus on food.

You just helped me notice that I am doing that easily now... and I thank you for helping me see that. I would rather continue to see changes in myself more than I think about what I will be eating next or when. YEA!!!!! GIANT CHANGE!!!!

Go forward and enjoy the changes in yourself no matter how small they may be. After all, change was why you contemplated the surgery in the first place. It was for me. 100 pounds later, change is still a good thing. I wanted it then, and I still do.
Change is good for what ever it is, it is different than it was. Good luck to you. Be kind to yourself along the way.

Above all... you better learn to love your smile. Cause there's no holding it in.

[MsHarry]

Thanks for the encouragement and words of Wisdom!

[Ann2]

Almost two years out!

Awesome!

[jaimaroo]

Thank you for sharing that. It really is helpful to see that my thoughts do not only belong to me. There are others out there that are feeling...or have felt, the same. I am so afraid of failure that I have had moments where I want to cancel the surgery because I have psyched myself out already. I won't cancel. I will be strong and change so I can live, but the fear lives on.
Thank you...and congrats on your "small" changes.

[mtngrl]

Cool!! Dr. Chae is doing my surgery too in 6 days.

[Delo1028]

Awesome! Thank you for your insights and encouragement. I hope one of these days to have the change you have had.

[Lee6Lee]

Love hearing from those who have walked the road ahead of us...

[Babs4531]

I found Dr. Chae very efficient. Good luck to you mountain girl. Enjoy every minute because it all goes by so very, very fast.

I am still changing... mentally now more than physically. I still have about 10 pounds I would like to lose but I am so much happier now.

Apparently, I still have much to change. I guess acknowledging this is just part of the process.

I have not walked the walk, I am walking the walk just like you. You are just a bit behind me on the path. It's one thing to lose the weight, it's another to keep it off and not fall back into old habits. This website is full of those who do not take this opportunity to change their minds as well. The surgery was just the tool to get me on the path to change myself inside and out. Now learning not to eat when stressed, bored, or as entertainment is a whole other battle. It's a war I am very willing to wage now because I have lost the weight and have something to fight for. I don't want to go back to what I was. I am able to motivate myself now. BIG CHANGE! That surgery will change your life if you let it and you are committed to changing your mind.

I had to use the whole second year working on my head. Who knew the second year would be the real test? I believe I will be tested for the rest of my life. I will just be damn sure I will be passing every test!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND... when I fail the occasional quiz, and I do... I will not let that get me down because I understand it was just a quiz and I can still prove myself with the next test. I have learned how to cut myself a break.

My biggest lesson from year two was learning to cut myself a break. Getting angry at myself for doing the wrong thing on this journey was only sabotaging my successes. I get over myself much faster now and do not turn to food for comfort. What a concept. This is a life lesson I truly wish for everyone on this website. It has been a fabulous lesson for I have learned to catch my breath. Now I stop and think before I take a bite. YEA!!!!! That bite will not be changing a damn thing for me so why bother. I hope that thought occurs to all of you.

That is my wish for all of you. You deserve these changes just as much as I did.

Good luck to all of you. Be happy with yourselves because you have already changed your minds and are on the website in the first place.

Go, Go, Go...

[jane_vsg_ayla]

Love that quote!!! Just recently heard another along the same lines that I am hanging onto

"If you want something you have never had before, you have to do something you have never done before".

Bottom line - you have to want it really, really want it.

[stargazerlily]

Beautiful!!! Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.