Shouldn't oughta done that...should have kept it secret!

[plp55]

I have had 3 family members that have had wls, bypass, band over bypass and band to sleeve , so I have seen the ups and downs and have a lot of support from my sisters. I have a bmi of 31, so am a self pay but I just can't get the weight off and never feel full. I have researched and been on this site for 4 months and keep hearing the same mantra...the only regret is that they didn't do it sooner.

I promised myself I was not going to tell my son, because I didn't want to hear the judgement... and....I told him (that I was considering it, I actually have surgery scheduled) just in case my husband had to call him if I had any issues in the hospital....What was I thinking... "try to hire a personal trainer, go on Lindora again, you are going to have shortened bowel syndrome and chronic diarrhea, you might die, your doctor just wants a Ferrari payment".....and...he is a doctor. My sister asked me...are you crazy, were you drinking? (I don't drink).

Now I am scared. I will go through it if for no other reason than I already paid. If I was going under for plastic surgery or a colonoscopy or a wisdom tooth removal no one would tell me I might die. What was I thinking??

[Ann2]

Yup. Your son is a real doctor. He knows everything.

[plp55]

Oh my gosh, so you know him? Shoot me!

[Sunnybell]

Wow, until he has walked a mile in your moccasins...REALLY!!!!!!

[Luann]

I feel for you. Do what you know you need to, and try not to let the negativity get to you. I heard a statement that everything we do is motivated from either fear or love. At least for me it was pretty clear that the tremendously negative warnings I got from a few were fear motivated. The worst I think was motivated by a fear I would start looking better than was acceptable.

I did have some problems during my hospital stay, and a complication cropped up afterwards. But I got through it, and I am back to a good weight now. I wouldn't take this back for anything! It's a blessing beyond words to have this help in getting to & staying at a good weight.

[thenewmetoday]

OK.....I had sleeve at age 70. I had lost large amounts of weight over the years but had never been able to keep it off. Tried the band at great expence to me and it did not work for me. Had to have it removed and Just kept gaining all the weight I had lost plus.
The main reason for the sleeve....it supports keeping the weight off. Best tool I have ever had.
It is still work and you need commitment. I am almost 3 years from surg. 2 years from goal weight. Health is great, no meds, no diabetes . I am days away from 73 and I feel great, Best money I have ever spent. Share that with your son. lol

[plp55]

Thank you all!!

[Damasyn]

Ok, I can understand them being scared for you. BUT its your decision, they need to support you. You will be out of surgery in an hour or 2. They dont have to agree with you and your decision, but they should know that you did not jump into this without alot of research. If anything, find a seminar and take them to one.

I think I would be frank with him too. Tell him that you had not planned on telling him because you knew he would be judgmental instead of giving you moral support. But you thought that for once maybe they would support you . But sadly you were wrong. grrrrrr pisses me off

[BillyJ]

He is just worried about you but don't let his reaction deter you. If the surgeon and the tests show that you are a good candidate then go for it. I am a self pay and I do not regret one dime spent. I see it as an investment in my future. My cardiologist was against the surgery many years ago. Then he did an about face and said it has been improved upon and less risky so go for it.

[niki k]

I have a BMI of 35.5 and apparently I have more dense muscles... But the scale doesn't say that and my size doesn't say that. The reason I mentioned this is I get a lot of people shocked that I am going to have this done. They assume that I must be lazy, crazy, eat crap food! My problem is as I gained weight I was less active, and am intolerant to most medications. So metformin, phentermine, migraine meds etc... So that helps pack on a few more pounds. Then it hurts to exercise! It is a horrible spiral! If your son is a doctor, he would know that this is fantastic tool that we still have to bust ass to stay healthy and keep the weight off. Yes it is expensive, but I think it is a great investment in ourselves! I am self pay as well. I can't wait to have this done. It wont be easy and at times I am sure I will be pissed off about something with it, but I am confident that this is going to allow me to lose this f*#@*ing weight! LOL Good luck with your decision, and sorry about my rant!

[Ann2]

The trouble with smart people (and it's a phenomenon that's well documented by good research) is that they over-weight and over-generalize their own personal experiences of all kinds to those of the general population. Put another way, if X operates in a certain way with them, then X must operate in the same way with all others.

Bless their hearts.

[plp55]

My final straw.... I was doing barn work yesterday and ripped my very last pair of pants that fit!
No turning back now!
This is a great, informative and encouraging site! Thank you for talking me off the edge!

[Numbers]

Hang tough...

I suggest telling son to get on this site and read at least 20 post by folks who lost their diabetes, high BP, sleep apnea, etc before making one more negative comment. Tell him you do not give a damn if he is a doctor, they taught him to do research in med school so f'n do some research before giving a medical opinion on that which he is not an expert.

Coming from mom that will sting a bit, but if he is the personality of most docs he will shut up and go do some research. Then he will be supportive :-)

I know, I have the same personality :-)

[didishae]

I think once you have your surgery and he sees you becoming healthier and that you are okay and happy with your decision he will most likely drop all judgment. I'm sure he's just worried about you... boys love their mamas and hate to think of them being in any sort of vulnerable situation. Give him time, he'll come around. Good luck!

[FindingMyLostSpirit]

HI plp55- Also in the same kind of boat. I've heard it's best to wait until the last minute to tell anyone because more times than not, they will give you the same amount of crap your son gave you. My mom is a fanatic worrier- sometimes I think if she had a conversation with me and she had nothing to complain or worry about, I might drop dead of complete shock. She'll be all over the internet arming herself with reasons I shouldn't go...then she'll get my brother involved (who is an anesthesiologist- aka doctor) But, I've been thinking a lot about it, have done significant research about it and am following that inner voice that is finally saying I deserve to be happy! Happy Happy Happy (and much healthier!) and much happier!
There comes a time when we deserve to put ourselves first Best wishes!!