I blew it....

[dennek]

I'm 2 years 9 months out. I lost 85 pounds in the first 9 months and have regained 30. I know it's my fault. I wanted the sleeve to be a miracle cure not a tool towards a healthy weight. I feel like a failure. I know one thing that helped lead me to backslide into fat again, my excess skin. I couldn't even look in the mirror at that flap. I never saw myself as thin, even when everyone was complementing me on the way I looked. This may be a problem for the rest of my life. If I had it to do all over again, I would probably have a bypass and see a counselor right from the beginning.
Now I see a counselor and a MD to try to get back on track.

[jessiejess]

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time, but you are not a failure because you have not given up. You know there is a problem, you are taking responsibility for the cause, and you are taking steps to get back on track. That sounds like the opposite of failure to me. It sounds like perseverance and dedication to never return to where you started.
Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you can do this. Positive self talk gains positive results. You can do this. Believe in yourself.

[Ladykk]

I agree you are not a failure. Keep moving forward and learn from your journey. You can do this it is a lifetime full of lessons. Congratulations for taking the time to start over. Thank you for sharing and helping me be more motivated.

[Ima Fox]

Thanks for sharing. This is my nightmare & a reason why I'm not public about my WLS. I really respect you for not giving up on yourself. I'm glad you are shaking it off & getting back on the horse. Please let us know if we can help. I'm losing very slowly. At times I feel very discouraged, but if the result is a lack of excess skin hanging off of me, I'm ok with it. Please share your successes so we can rejoice with you. Good luck!

[Feather370]

I understand as well. I am 2 years out in March 2015. I have lost 131 pounds in total but have regained 20 lbs. I have been under extreme stress and suffer from severe depression. The last six months have been super hard on me due to major family issues and I have gone back to old habits. I am super scared I have stretched the sleeve but I got back on track yesterday! I start an emotional eating support group in January and I am determined to lose this weight (again) and get back into better eating habits.

I understand how you feel! I feel like a huge failure for putting weight on and when I look into the mirror, I don't see the extra 20 pounds. I see the extra 130 pounds again. I don't feel sexy anymore and am so uncomfortable with myself. However the silver lining in this is I got married in June and my husband has been super supportive. I couldn't have picked anyone better. He saw me at my heaviest, at my skinniest and now a little curvier. Love him so much!!!

Good luck and I hope you are able to find the strength, courage and peace needed to go forward with this journey.

[while.im.still.young]

You didn't fail at the sleeve, you more so succeeded at being human. We all have backslides now and again whether it's with weightloss or anything else. At least you had the guts to say that you weren't doing what you knew you should have been doing and you're starting to take steps towards fixing the problem. I salute you for getting help with it and making a conscious effort to get back in the saddle. Good for you.

[dennek]

Stress eating is so hard to overcome. It's been a long time since I've been on this site and I had forgotten how helpful it is to have your encouragement. Thank you all so much.

[jane_vsg_ayla]

I am 3.5 years out. I lost 55 pounds (I started at 200), maintained for over year. Then at 2 years out I regained 20 pounds in a 4 month period from depression and not getting out of bed, plus eating all day. I thought I blew it too, and I was very hard on myself about it.

I stopped it and spent 6 months beating myself up about it, and unable to budge it. Then I joined a gym, starting lifting heavy weights with a trainer, and committed myself to working out daily and tracking every bite that went into my mouth - good or bad.

It took me 4 months to lose the 20 pounds, and then 2 months to lose another 15 putting me at the lowest I have been since 8th grade. I spent the last 8 months after that continuing with my commitment to build muscle and replace fat, while listening to my trainer about eating more to fuel my body for the work I was doing. I am now in the absolute best shape of my entire life - I had a DEXA scan done recently, and I went from 40% body fat down to 17%.

It is NOT the end of the world. Your sleeve is not "broken". You *should* be able to eat more now than you used to - but you have to choose wisely and manage calories like most people. But you have an advantage - it is much easier for you to stick to a reasonable calorie goal than most people because of the sleeve. You need to get a handle on your eating, get lots of protein (double what they tell you), and pick a reasonable calorie goal that is just a little less than you are burning (get a fitbit or use an online calculator with sedentary settings since you probably lost a lot of muslce and will not be "average").

Losing weight has two side - how much you take in, and how much you burn. Dont forget you can control BOTH sides of that. Get a handle on the in, then start working on the out! If you are not exercising regularly, start small but continually progress. This is not a race - take your time and make changes you can commit to for life. Start with walking if you need to, but eventually do something that will build muscle - muscle is the key to a lifetime of not worrying about your weight. I now burn so many calories with my existing muscle and general activity and workouts, that there is virtually no way I can eat enough (while getting my protein in) to gain weight again. I maintain on about 2200 calories, at 130 pounds.

You can do this - it is NEVER too late. PM me if you ever want to chat.

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[Ann2]

Judie, you just knock me out!

Really! Just knock me out!

[Numbers]

Why do we get knocked down?

So we learn to get up.

Keep your head up, okay, you could have done better, the only person who could not was put on a cross some 2000 years ago...

Everyone since then could have done better....

Now time to do better, and sounds like you are :-)

[Lee6Lee]

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time, but you are not a failure because you have not given up. You know there is a problem, you are taking responsibility for the cause, and you are taking steps to get back on track. That sounds like the opposite of failure to me. It sounds like perseverance and dedication to never return to where you started.
Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you can do this. Positive self talk gains positive results. You can do this. Believe in yourself.

Jessie, I was very touched by your response!

[Joe Poppa]

Stress eating, that's a tough one for me. I try my best to find an outlet when I get stressed out, other than food, and try hard not to allow those stressors to overwhelm me (easier said than done). Try your best to avoid doing that. You'll end up mindlessly eating, eating too fast and typically choices like kale or celery are very low on the list of food that get grabbed (not that grabbing some celery when you are stressed out and eating it is a good choice, because you are still stress eating).

Don't beat yourself up. You are a human, you will make less-than-favorable choices from time to time, but you are smart enough to realize that you want to do something about it.

Try journaling your daily food/qty, protein, water and exercise to make sure you get enough of each.
I add food/qty to the other 3 since you can see if you are overeating certain foods that are high in calories. You don't need to stop eating them, only enjoy them in moderation.

You can do it!

PS: That was a very misleading thread name. Thanks for the let down.

[cowgirljane]

Thank you for sharing. 3 years post op and I still feel I am in the battle for my life. Maintaining 160# loss but it's getting harder not easier.

I don't think you are a failure or that a different surgery is the miracle either. My original NUT told me I just need to keep"working" that sleeve....meaning it's up to me. You know th a that but sharing these struggles with newbies gives a more balanced view of WLS

[missemily516]

Judie, you have provided such an amazing story and great message. The fact that you lost, gained, lost again and then lost more is so inspiring and gives us all hope that there is no failure, there is just ups and downs and where we go from here is based on what we choose to do today. Thank you for sharing your story and pictures!

[jane_vsg_ayla]

I have said this quite a few times... The "average" WLS patient loses only 60% of their excess body weight from surgery. If you dont want to be "average", dont do what "average" WLS patients do. Research why that is the case, what to do about it, and get to it. There is no rush to the goal line - as someone pointed out, it is a lifelong struggle - there is no one "victory", but a series of small victories (in between failures) that makes someone a winner. There is no finish line, but there is a definite starting line you have to go over.