Taking care of your emotional needs

[Rainbow]

This is an older post but bears repeating. A newbie on here is having trouble with this so i thought i would share my advice with Everybody on here as i feel this is really important. If you are feeling like your nerves are "raw" and cant tell if you are sad or angry but you know you just don't seem to be coping well with daily life there is something to take into consideration. First I just want to assure that what you are feeling is "normal" but it is also a warning. There is a good chance You are grieving your old life. Even more specific, your old best friend, FOOD. Food used to be a very good source of comfort and you have been without that particular support system for a month now. It is important to recognize this and actively find a NEW source of comfort. Pay attention to your emotional needs. Ask for hugs from family members and friends. Curl up with a soft blanket, Listen to some favorite music or movie. The main thing is find something self-indulgent to replace that comfort you have lost. You will need to continue to practice this all year until these new habits form to comfort yourself! Hope this helps! Love Rainbow

[llburbach]

Very well said Rainbow!!

[Terps]

Rainbow, this is HUGE!!! I believe that the reason most of got so heavy was because we used food as a coping mechanism. Giving that up and finding alternate coping mechanisms is critical to our long term success. A soft blanket with my dog on my lap is one of my favorite new comforts.

I have an app on my phone called No More Diets by Dr. Jenn Burman. She has a list of self-care activities. Here are some:

- Do some deep breathing
- Talk with a friend or support peers (like this site!)
- Make plans for the weekend
- Write a blog
- Read a self help book
- Make a to do list
- Pleasure yourself
- Write a business plan for an idea you've had
- Make a collage
- Build a fire in the fireplace and curl up
- Skype
- Play an instrument
- Shop the App store
- Hit a pillow
- Stretch your body
- Be crafty
- Lean a new language
- Have a cup of tea
- Sell something on eBay
- Volunteer for an organization you believe in
- Do a crossword puzzle
- Have sex with someone you love
- Google yourself
- Go for a drive
- Take a class
- Take a sauna or steam
- Browse a bookstore or library
- Do some guided imagery
- Play with play-doh
- Pray
- Read a book
- Watch a movie
- Make a vision board
- Play a video game
- Sing out loud
- Clean or organize your home
- Floss and brush your teeth
- Go into a non-diet chatroom
- Make a gratitude list
- Meet up with a friend
- Play with your makeup and nailpolish
- Write a letter
- Plan new outfit combinations
- Write a poem or story
- Read some positive affirmations
- Create your family tree
- Play solitaire
- Scream at the top of your lungs
- Write a bucket list
- Create a new playlist of CD
- Paint a picture
- Plan a party
- Play a game
- Google something that interests you
- People watch
- Exercise
- Lots more but I'm tired of typing

[Ann2]

Good post, Rainbow.

I'm glad you've returned to the board. You're a great resource. Thank you.

[TortugaRachel]

What a wonderful post, and thank you so much for this. I have suffered depression for over two decades and am on medication for it, but with the changes and stuff going on right now, I still have some down days. I knew going in that this was to be expected, but it doesn't make it easier.

Thankfully, I have a therapist that I've been working with for a year now on building better coping skills. Getting set up with her was actually part of my pre- pre-op regimen. The VA wouldn't even let me consider WLS until I got that part of my life under control.

My coping skills are:
- playing video games
- writing in my blog
- writing/editing my novels (2 published, 1 in editing, writing #4!)
- taking walks with my doggies
- doing arts and crafts alone and/or with my kiddos

[LAX mom]

Ummm....I love all of these ideas! I'm almost 9 months out & still struggle with this sometimes!! Thanks friends!