It's MY issue, not theirs...

**Ann2** · 10-28-2014 03:12 PM

Good comments above. It's a date, not a proposal of marriage.

That having been said ... real, true love that everyone deserves but not everyone receives is strange. It doesn't follow best practices, policies and procedures. It sometimes appears in places and at times when it is inconvenient or unpopular with those who are watching.

Old lady advice: Be brave. Expect love. Recognize love. Say yes to love.

**one4sailn** · 10-28-2014 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by tinman

And now...for the man's perspective.

Single men with children have some of the same challenges in dating that women do. Couple that with the idea that he may be lonely, and you get a better idea where he is coming from. He has found someone who has readily identified her flaws and he finds that refreshing. I can promise you that in the back of his mind he is thinking that if she is so ready to admit her former weight and WLS, then she has to be accepting of my drawbacks. Now, what are the drawbacks? Well, on the surface, I would say the HE perceives the fact that he is a single parent as a drawback. Remember. We are not talking about how you think or feel. We are talking about how HE thinks you are thinking and feeling.

Since you two have apparently hit it off without meeting, the chances you will hit it off after you meet are probably pretty good. It's hard to fake a good telephone conversation. All this guy wants to do is make sure you know he's interested without having met you.

So, my advice would be to try to think about the situation from his perspective. Your self esteem and outlook on life are fantastic. His might not be as good as yours. However, good attitudes and infectious personalities are contagious. I think he thinks he's found someone that will accept him for his flaws and is interested in being more interested.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Oh....go have a great time. This is the fun part of being single.

A big, huge, heartfelt THANK YOU.

**one4sailn** · 10-28-2014 03:48 PM

So good to hear the male perspective, and all the wonderful words of courage. (and reality!) I'm looking forward to tomorrow night, going to let go of the nonsense in my head, and put my shoulders back just a little bit further! As it was said in Fried Green Tomatoes, "TOWANDA!"

**tinman** · 10-28-2014 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by one4sailn

So good to hear the male perspective, and all the wonderful words of courage. (and reality!) I'm looking forward to tomorrow night, going to let go of the nonsense in my head, and put my shoulders back just a little bit further! As it was said in Fried Green Tomatoes, "TOWANDA!"

Probably wouldn't hurt to stick your chest out when you throw your shoulders back.....again....a man's perspective.....lol.

Oh...and knock back a Stella. You deserve it.

Just don't tell me what I'm missing.

**char602** · 10-28-2014 04:14 PM

What a great thread. I'm excited for your first date (and the second one), I hope you come back and share a few dets with us. Just remember you deserve all things great and wonderful. Whether that's this guy, the next, or no guy.

Thanks to Tinman for sharing the male perspective (though I think he just favors you cause you can still drink Stella).

**one4sailn** · 10-28-2014 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by tinman

Oh...and knock back a Stella. You deserve it.

I'm too damn disciplined...maybe after a couple years? lol Now, as for a couple glasses of Honig's Sauvignon Blanc...down the hatch!

**one4sailn** · 10-28-2014 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by char602

What a great thread. I'm excited for your first date (and the second one), I hope you come back and share a few dets with us. Just remember you deserve all things great and wonderful. Whether that's this guy, the next, or no guy.

Thanks to Tinman for sharing the male perspective (though I think he just favors you cause you can still drink Stella).

No, no, I was a fellow LOVER of Stella! I haven't touched carbonation, promise. Even talking about dear Stella is making me weepy...LOL And yes, I'll let you know how it goes!

**char602** · 10-28-2014 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by one4sailn

No, no, I was a fellow LOVER of Stella! I haven't touched carbonation, promise. Even talking about dear Stella is making me weepy...LOL And yes, I'll let you know how it goes!

My bad, there is someone here who can still drink Stella, can't recall who. That's my husband's favorite. I'm a red beer/chelada girl myself, all those years in the hot AZ sun I guess.

**Fatmommy** · 10-28-2014 04:38 PM

Just like you did with your WLS, take it one step at a time. Don't let yourself get in your head and over think it. I have not been sleeved yet. My sister had RnY 7 years ago and told me that one of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and not see yourself as the fat person you once were. Have fun with your date.