If anyone accuses you of taking the "easy way out" by having WLS,

[VSGSetyoufree]

You should respond, "You're absolutely right". It astonishes me how nobody is willing to admit that bariatric surgery is by far easier than losing weight on your own. I can't count the number of times I have heard WLS people deny that they are taking the path of least resistance. If you are overweight and your goal is to improve your health and quality of life it seems to me you have three choices:

1) Do nothing, continue to overeat and die prematurely. This is the easiest choice, but not a way "out" of anything.

2) Diet and exercise on your own, probably lose a good amount of weight and struggle to maintain a healthy body weight. Most likely you'll gain 110% of it back after a year or two. My guess is 100% of the people on this forum have done this.

3) Have WLS, become more responsible with your eating habits, exercise and maintain a healthier lifestyle. This is by no means easy, but it is infinitely easier than choice 2.

Here are a few analogies to consider:

"Oh, you drove your car to work?" "That's taking the easy way out, you could have walked or ran you know"

"You bought groceries at the supermarket?" "That's a cop out, you could have grown, harvested, processed, and cooked your own food"

"You sent a text message to your friend?" "You know you could have written them a letter, cell phones are the easy way to communicate"


It occurs to me that anyone who makes an accusation that WLS is somehow illegitimate is revealing a complete lack of empathy and profound ignorance. Why in the world would anyone not use the medical technology of the day to help them achieve their goals when all other options are less likely to get them to where they want to be? More importantly, why are so few willing to admit the truth about their choices?
The only reason severely overweight people should not take the easy way out by having bariatric surgery is if something easier comes down the road in the future.

[Shelley2]

Very well said. Thank u for that. I will definitely use this

[cssamo]

It is especially true on the internet; people are rude.

Take for instance, some of the comments that you read on this very website how one person will belittle another. If we were in a waiting room and having a conversation, do you think some of the things said on this website would be said in "real life"? No, there would be a bunch of bloody noses and blackened eyes. lol

Thanks for the good verbal judo that we can put in our arsenal. :-)

[Ann2]

I hear you, VSGSetYouFree, but ....

Perhaps when you found out about WLS as an option, you leapt at the option. Not everyone does that. Some of us, because of our health conditions and age and familial responsibilities, saw different odds and risks than you did.

Then there's the widespread perception about WLS throughout our culture that a patient wakes up after WLS and thereafter the weight magically falls off, with no discomfort or effort of any kind required of the patient.

Those of us on the sleeved side know that's not true.

When we resist that characterization of WLS it's because we know how stressful (physically and mentally) the surgery and recovery is and how much time and effort we put into education, planning meals, keeping records (if you do), exercising, dealing with emotional issues that arise around obesity, WLS and rapid weight loss, recalibrating our relationships, etc.

I will also readily admit that when I feel that the "easier" evaluation misses the mark, it's because those who say that are typically ignorant as geese about what WLS really involves, not to mention the awful struggles of those who suffer from obesity and what a complex disease that becomes.

These early weeks post-op are certainly harder for me than the 9 weeks I spent last summer dieting and losing 11 pounds. Maybe (probably?) I'll change my mind the longer I'm post-op (36 days post-op today). Or it might be that this is a topic on which everyone's mileage may vary.

Time will tell.

[CharlieFarley]

You should respond, "You're absolutely right". It astonishes me how nobody is willing to admit that bariatric surgery is by far easier than losing weight on your own. I can't count the number of times I have heard WLS people deny that they are taking the path of least resistance. If you are overweight and your goal is to improve your health and quality of life it seems to me you have three choices:

1) Do nothing, continue to overeat and die prematurely. This is the easiest choice, but not a way "out" of anything.

2) Diet and exercise on your own, probably lose a good amount of weight and struggle to maintain a healthy body weight. Most likely you'll gain 110% of it back after a year or two. My guess is 100% of the people on this forum have done this.

3) Have WLS, become more responsible with your eating habits, exercise and maintain a healthier lifestyle. This is by no means easy, but it is infinitely easier than choice 2.

I mostly agree. And have wanted to say as much on these forums but never really got around to framing it as well as you did.

In terms of living with the sleeve, after recovery from the surgery, I don't see any "easier" way to lose weight either.

Getting to the hospital was really difficult; facing the doubts and fears. Continued pain, doubts and fears for the first few days afterwards, too. Plus the adapting to sleeved life. I didn't find any of those things easy to deal with; we work through the process. So overall, surgery may well be "easier" than the alternatives (for some, though - not all)... but it isn't an "easy" way out for anybody.

It occurs to me that anyone who makes an accusation that WLS is somehow illegitimate is revealing a complete lack of empathy and profound ignorance. Why in the world would anyone not use the medical technology of the day to help them achieve their goals when all other options are less likely to get them to where they want to be? More importantly, why are so few willing to admit the truth about their choices?

In the UK, there has been a lot of press and TV news stories in the last few months about weight loss surgery. The National Health Service continues to debate where the BMI cut-off point is where overweight British citizens may get surgery for free and this (as I see it) has caused much resentment amongst a large percentage of the population who choose to believe that "fatties should simply stop stuffing their faces". The NHS sees financial sense, of course, in paying for surgeries in order to reduce other obesity-related costs in the longer term, yet this is often overlooked. I feel like the resentment would still be cast over all WLS patients - even those, like me, who have not had any of their surgery costs covered by the NHS. It really isn't a debate I want to get into with anybody. So I have told the minimum number of people about my WLS choice. (Besides, it isn't anybody else's business.)

Fair play to those who can be more open about it, either in the UK or elsewhere.

[BillyJ]

Tell it!

[Joe Poppa]

This is a quote taken directly from the "The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery" (ASMBS).
I have posted this a few times:

"More than a decade ago, The National Institutes of Health, better known as NIH, reported that individuals affected by severe obesity are resistant to maintaining weight loss achieved by conventional therapies, such as consuming fewer calories, increasing exercise, commercial weight-loss programs, etc.). The NIH recognized bariatric (weight-loss) surgery as the only effective treatment to combat severe obesity and maintain weight loss in the long term."

If they don't accept this then commend them on their brilliant medical knowledge, they are obviously smarter than the NIH & ASMBS.

The easy way out is not to do all of the preparation work for surgery, going through the surgery, having your stomach reduced by 75%, the recovery period and a lifetime commitment to eating differently and exercise.
The easy way out is to do nothing, live a shorter, lower quality life, have lower self esteem and physical ailments.

What's even easier than that is to tell these rude, self-righteous people to go (bleep) themselves.

[Journey Tobeme]

**********I AM NOT SLEEVED YET**********

I think there are different things to consider. I am still in the gym busting butt right now since I am not recovering from surgery. I work out an hour minimum daily that is cardio, strength training or perhaps a combo. I also do yoga 3-4 times a week for another hour each time. I play tennis with my family twice a week for an hour. I ride bikes and am generally active outside of work. I know after surgery that will be limited while I recover. But once I get the green light and as my body feels right I will get back to that schedule again.

I do happen to plant, grow and harvest my own food. But I would never tell someone they are taking the easy way out if they chose to use a supermarket. I will eat clean and plant based post surgery. Just like someone who doesn't opt for surgery. It isn't my business to judge them or their choices. I am a big cheerleader for live and let live. I offer people knowledge that I have about the differences in commercial food and the stuff growing on my farm. But I don't preach to them nor do I belittle their choices.

I guess what I am saying is for me WLS surgery is a tool. It is a tool I feel I need to make myself successful. I have a friend who had bypass and she never works out. She lost 140 pounds. But that is not my goal. My goal is to get fit and healthy. Weight loss comes with that. Surgery or not I will eat better and exercise.

My Surgeon required I lose 24 pounds before I could submit to insurance for surgery. I lost it plus some with working out and diet. I plan to keep moving. I refuse to tell many people about my surgery anyway. It is my business. I won't lie to someone. I will tell them diet and exercise because that is what is going to define my weight loss. The surgery is a tool to help with the amount I eat. So if someone wants to say it is the easy way out that is fine with me. I truly don't mind. As long as they do not try to belittle me or my accomplishment I will not argue with them. Only I know my path to where I am and where I am going.

[VSGSetyoufree]

I hear you, VSGSetYouFree, but ....

Perhaps when you found out about WLS as an option, you leapt at the option. Not everyone does that. Some of us, because of our health conditions and age and familial responsibilities, saw different odds and risks than you did.

Then there's the widespread perception about WLS throughout our culture that a patient wakes up after WLS and thereafter the weight magically falls off, with no discomfort or effort of any kind required of the patient.

Those of us on the sleeved side know that's not true.

When we resist that characterization of WLS it's because we know how stressful (physically and mentally) the surgery and recovery is and how much time and effort we put into education, planning meals, keeping records (if you do), exercising, dealing with emotional issues that arise around obesity, WLS and rapid weight loss, recalibrating our relationships, etc.

I will also readily admit that when I feel that the "easier" evaluation misses the mark, it's because those who say that are typically ignorant as geese about what WLS really involves.

These early weeks post-op are certainly harder for me than the 9 weeks I spent last summer dieting and losing 11 pounds. Maybe (probably?) I'll change my mind the longer I'm post-op (36 days post-op today). Or it might be that this is a topic on which everyone's mileage may vary.

Time will tell.

Ann,
If you read my "About me" page you'll see I didn't leap at anything. I don't think you've accurately addressed the point I was making. I define success as becoming healthier and making that health improvement permanent in your life. It is an empirical fact that there is no easier way of achieving that success than having bariatric surgery. Taking a snapshot of a period of your life when you lost weight by dieting is only half of the picture. Keeping that weight off is the real struggle and all of us have failed at that multiple times. Hell, many people regain a great deal of weight they lost with a sleeve after a while. Is there any way those people could have been successful doing it on their own?
I believe people simply feel a need to resist the notion that they took an easy way out of anything. When the struggle is to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight there is not a scintilla of shame in taking the easiest route. Admitting this truth is the thing that seems to get the most resistance. After all, the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

[Jrzyguy]

Don't know that I'd call almost six months of dry heaves, nausea, throwing up, food intolerance, insomnia, hair loss and two blood clots the easy way out, but I get what you're trying to say. For me, the answer is that there IS no easy way out. I did it because surgery offered the best chance of losing the weight and keeping it off. Statistically, it was the best way to ensure I'd live longer.

[VSGSetyoufree]

**********I AM NOT SLEEVED YET**********

My Surgeon required I lose 24 pounds before I could submit to insurance for surgery. I lost it plus some with working out and diet. I plan to keep moving. I refuse to tell many people about my surgery anyway. It is my business. I won't lie to someone. I will tell them diet and exercise because that is what is going to define my weight loss. The surgery is a tool to help with the amount I eat. So if someone wants to say it is the easy way out that is fine with me. I truly don't mind. As long as they do not try to belittle me or my accomplishment I will not argue with them. Only I know my path to where I am and where I am going.

Journey,
Your success thus far is great, but understand that you will greatly increase the probability of achieving and maintaining your goals after your surgery. I have to address another phenomenon I see repeatedly. Nobody is obligated to reveal their private business regarding VSG surgery to anyone, but let's get real. When someone asks you how you lost weight and your response is diet and exercise and fail to mention the surgery part, it is a lie of omission. I have lied and will continue to lie to everyone who asks me how I am doing it because I want my personal business to remain personal. Saying that I refuse to lie, well that would be a lie in itself.

[LORAW]

I get your point. But, I would not characterize the last few weeks of my life as easy and I would not want someone else to do that. Maybe it will be easy later on, but it is not easy right now.

[Ann2]

Ann,
If you read my "About me" page you'll see I didn't leap at anything. I don't think you've accurately addressed the point I was making. I define success as becoming healthier and making that health improvement permanent in your life. It is an empirical fact that there is no easier way of achieving that success than having bariatric surgery. Taking a snapshot of a period of your life when you lost weight by dieting is only half of the picture. Keeping that weight off is the real struggle and all of us have failed at that multiple times. Hell, many people regain a great deal of weight they lost with a sleeve after a while. Is there any way those people could have been successful doing it on their own?
I believe people simply feel a need to resist the notion that they took an easy way out of anything. When the struggle is to achieve and maintain a healthy body weight there is not a scintilla of shame in taking the easiest route. Admitting this truth is the thing that seems to get the most resistance. After all, the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Mike,

I think you're right. I think the truth is pissing me off.

(BTW, I just read your profile for the first time. I'm going to start doing that more often. Kind of silly of me to correspond seriously with people here whom I haven't taken time to get to know first. Sorry about that.)

I think what my real issue is with the word "easy." Everything you've said -- in your OP above and in the quote above and on your profile -- I am in complete agreement with.

As you know, I'm in the closet on WLS. My reason for not publicizing my WLS is because I'm 99% sure that everyone I know professionally and personally would judge me (poorly) for having had WLS.

Charlie's description above about the debate raging in the UK about whether the NHS should pay for WLS is spot-on for the behavior I see among my colleagues, family members, and random people I know. In my world, fat-shaming is rampant. I'm by far the largest person in my family, and my best friends and clients are, almost to a person, fit and fashionable.

Just last week, with my closest professional colleagues who are also my best friends, I became untypically transparent about this subject, i.e., I tore them new assholes, when they started dising a woman who's 100 pounds overweight. At first, they were SHOCKED! SHOCKED! that I would react that way. Three of them said (and I'm quoting): "But we never think of you that way."

When I started this WLS process I was 90 pounds overweight. I've known these folks for longer than 20 years. During all that time, they've seen me gain and lose, gain and lose at least a dozen times, and twice as much as 60+ pounds. They knew (I thought) how hard I've struggled to become healthy, yet failed. They've seen me on business trips and pleasure trips using canes when arthritis made it almost impossible for me to keep up. They've seen me give speeches sitting down when I couldn't stand. They've watched how joyous and energetic I am when I'm not so heavy and how exhausted and in pain I am when I've regained. Yet, they never thought of me that way.

When your best friends are blind to your own struggles with obesity and their genuine love for you doesn't make them appreciate the problems of others who are obese, it just confirms my decision not to become the poster child in my circle for WLS and VSG. Their appreciation for this disease and our struggles is soooo much lower than I had even imagined.

My judgment is that I'm dealing with enough as I navigate my own WLS, and I'm not going to take on their education right now. Maybe later, when I'm farther down the road. But not right now.

Of course, by now I'm far afield of the "easier" points you were making. Again, I don't think we're in disagreement about anything you've said. The only difference is that you're ready to debate the "easier" vs "harder" aspect of WLS, but I'm not even willing to broach that topic -- other than anonymously. That's especially true since I've just learned that some of the smartest, nicest people I know are as ignorant as geese about obesity -- my own and obesity in general. And for now, I don't have the energy to plumb the depths of their ignorance about WLS.

[Pangie82]

Some people don't spend time in thought before letting the words fall out of their mouth. I remember 24.5 years ago when I have my oldest son...via emergency c-section. I was in the recovery room, shaking and vomiting from the epidural and not able to move my legs and too weak to hold my newborn baby... my "ex" siser-in-law says.... "Lucky you... you get the easy way out, c-section". I was speechless. EASY? You call this EASY? Pure ignorance.

Just like anything else.... you have to consider the source. All that matters is that YOU are happy about your educated decision to make a life change with this amazing tool. Also, sometimes ignorant statements are made out of envy.

Don't worry about others.. just be happy with yourself!

[brownas5]

I can see both sides but I dont know if I would call it easy way out because of the hoops we have to go through AND the fact that at some point we have to "diet" again by making healthier choices to maintain the weight loss. Many people have tried to lose the weight on their own. I know I personally have done pretty much what Journey Tobeme has done and still the scale barely moved. If anything I maintained. I think the word "easy" needs to be changed to "only" in many cases. I guess "easy" is in the eye of the beholder. But in case any of you are like me, If someone says that to me I will simply say, "I have had ALOT of things in my life that were not easy.....I think I am allotted this one! Focus on your own life!" lol seems legit!