Dealing with hurtful comments

[Sunshine25]

In the last 3 weeks these things have been said to me about my weight and I just don't know how to recover from them such as, "you've lost a lot of weight, but you're still fat". Another comment, "that shirt looks good on you, it hides your rolls". This one is probably the most hurtful, "you fat f&%^ing psycho bit*h". Yahhh, it's great to be me. I struggle to loose weight as quickly as most others because of a slow thyroid, medication, and allergies to many things but to have to stomach this emotional abuse on top of it all, really takes the wind out of my sails. Yes turning a negative into a positive and using these comments as motivation to rub it in there faces that I can be happy and healthy in my own skin is one thing but I wish people could just be more kind and understanding, especially when I've dealt with my weight being an issue my whole life. How do you deal these types of people?

[Marvinator]

My favorite comeback for fat comments was the classic "I may be fat, but you are ugly, and I can diet."

[Metread]

You cannot let someone else dictate how you see yourself. Fat people can lose weight. A$$holes are always a$$holes;

[Marvinator]

That said, I am sorry that you are having to hear that crap. No matter what approach you take, its painful to hear that kind of crap. But as I have said a number of times before, people are flawed. So, as long as you have some obvious vulnerability there will be some a--hole around to pick at and open wounds. The only thing you can do is be confident that they wont be able to call you that for much longer. The worst part for me always was that it was only close friends that called me fat to my face. Everyone else did it behind my back.

[Deejaycee76]

Some people are stupid as sh*t. What is this elementary school? Not sure who's talking all this sh*t to you, but it sounds like you need to disassociate with their dumb asses.
Go on and brush ya shoulders off. F**k em.
With that said, I know it hurts...use it.

[Xanadu]

You are absolutely beautiful....look at your face.....my goodness....stand tall & be proud! You are breathtakingly gorgeous and those losers are jealous! Jealous they don't look as good as you and even with surgery they wouldn't look as good as you. ....wanna know why?.....cause they are ugly within.....not like you who is beautiful

[Neil2]

Please remember that people that are that hurtful are hiding behind problems of there own and feel better about themselves when the put down others. I realize how hurtful it can be but just remember your better than them!

[Denise*661]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're doing an awesome job keep it up. Keep away from those kind of people, hoping it's not someone close to you.

[Kindle]

...

[newclear]

I've told people: under all this fat, I'm still a real person with real feelings. If you can't talk to me like a normal human being, don't say anything to me at all.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I haven't experienced what you're talking about, but I've had my share of skinny shaming. If people are going to say negative things about you, they'll do so regardless of your weight. I do hope your experience pre-goal will prep you for the hate you'll receive once you're there (not that I wish that on you).

[Shalon]

I don't know how it was said, but that one about hiding the rolls is something my friend would say to me and I'd love it. I have more rolls now that I've lost weight, but even more than that. I love when you can actually trust a friend's clothing advice because you know they'll be honest when it doesn't "hide your rolls" I know it's not what you want to hear but if you use a shaper it'll make your body more uniform looking(I've had to buy one so I don't get grossed out by my body in the mirror lately, just because the weight loss has made another roll and has loosened all that flesh up) Actually the first two are things my friends say that I value hearing, but it's all in the delivery. Whoever's calling you a fat f--- psycho---etc, is someone you need to oust from your life.

[Ann2]

In the last 3 weeks these things have been said to me about my weight and I just don't know how to recover from them such as, "you've lost a lot of weight, but you're still fat". Another comment, "that shirt looks good on you, it hides your rolls". This one is probably the most hurtful, "you fat f&%^ing psycho bit*h". Yahhh, it's great to be me. I struggle to loose weight as quickly as most others because of a slow thyroid, medication, and allergies to many things but to have to stomach this emotional abuse on top of it all, really takes the wind out of my sails. Yes turning a negative into a positive and using these comments as motivation to rub it in there faces that I can be happy and healthy in my own skin is one thing but I wish people could just be more kind and understanding, especially when I've dealt with my weight being an issue my whole life. How do you deal these types of people?

Sunshine, I hope you realize that someone who says to you: "you fat f&%^ing psycho bit*h" is never, ever going to "... just be more kind and understanding ...." That person is poisonous to you.

I strongly, strongly advise you to NEVER be around this person in the future. Anyone who spews that kind of emotional abuse is very dangerous.

And if you think you can EVER become skinny enough or charming enough or beautiful enough to make them stop abusing you, be nice to you or love you, you are badly mistaken.

Part of taking care of ourselves is not going to places or being with people where the odds are high that we will be injured.

[terrora]

In the last 3 weeks these things have been said to me about my weight and I just don't know how to recover from them such as, "you've lost a lot of weight, but you're still fat". Another comment, "that shirt looks good on you, it hides your rolls". This one is probably the most hurtful, "you fat f&%^ing psycho bit*h". Yahhh, it's great to be me. I struggle to loose weight as quickly as most others because of a slow thyroid, medication, and allergies to many things but to have to stomach this emotional abuse on top of it all, really takes the wind out of my sails. Yes turning a negative into a positive and using these comments as motivation to rub it in there faces that I can be happy and healthy in my own skin is one thing but I wish people could just be more kind and understanding, especially when I've dealt with my weight being an issue my whole life. How do you deal these types of people?

Who said this to you? OMG!! Come up with a response the next time you hear one of those mean comments. And say it. It doesn't have to be rude but put them on the spot. Like perhaps.."Please explain why you would say something so nasty to me?" Look at them square in the eye..and press for an answer. It will make them squirm and be embarrassed.
When I have facial cosmetic surgery (face lift,,and more) I was having coffee with about half dozen coworkers, as we do in the mornings. One of the ladies went on to talk about how crazy it is to have a facelift and that when people get old (I am only 52) and have a facelift their face doesn't match their body. She also said mine didn't look natural and it was ridiculous. ( It was early and I was still swollen and took a while to look natural) I cannot imagine what she was saying behind my back.
It was pretty nasty but I did "consider the source". The woman who was saying this is one year older than me, about 50lbs heavier, is very frumpy and has been mistaken to be in her mid 60's.
So chin up..don't take this to heart. ..Once I was trying on a long sweater at a store. The sales lady said "that sweater covers a multitude of sins. I said "Oh do I need that?"
You cannot control what people say to you, but you need to decide to not let it get you down. There are probably enough people who are building you up. Focus on those people.

[Mich-D]

Sorry to hear you are receiving negative comments. However, you can take solace that you are getting healthy. My medical team mentioned frequently that there be people wanting me to fail. Some people are insecure about themselves and their shortcomings. As the weight comes off, I have had a few people react negatively in addition to the argument I didn't lose the weight the right way. I remember the program coordinator mention that for persons like myself who are (were) the fattest person in the room, some of the opposition may come from those who risk being the new heaviest person in the room as my weight comes off.

That said, you mentioned not being sure on how to recover from the negative comments. I quote Clint Eastwood as Gunnery Sgt. Thomas Highway from the movie Heartbreak Ridge, "Don't give the prick the satisfaction".

Use these negative comments as fuel to step up your transformational efforts.

[sraebaer]

It's hard to imagine anyone saying something like that! I have never heard any negative comments. (But like someone else said, maybe they are just talking behind my back.)

One of the "behind my back" ones was when someone told my husband their friend had weight loss surgery and gained ALL her weight back.