I can understand where you're coming from. Growing up my dad used to like to tell me that no man would ever love me because I was fat, and when I got rejected by several teenage crushes (some due to my weight, others because I had short hair and was considered gay because of it) it stuck with me. I dated seriously only once since then and the guy swore up and down he liked me big, he liked who I was but he lied to me constantly and would refuse to be seen in public with me. I ended it, tired of feeling rejected.

It's a valid concern. When we're big we're not as attractive to others so we don't run the risk of getting hurt like those that date regularly. Take the fat away and suddenly we're more vulnerable. We can be pretty now to other people, we can get whistled at, drinks bought for us, numbers slipped to us on napkins or bits of notebook paper. And you wonder about it.

Point is, it's up to you. If you want to get back in to dating you have every right as a new woman. And yes you might get hurt, everyone does. But that doesn't mean dating's bad or that you should give up and resign to a life without a partner to love you, all of you, if it's what you truly desire. My suggestion would be is, if this is something that really concerns you, invest in speaking with a counselor or therapist about it and working out your fears. All the best to you.

Be sure you love yourself first - true love will find its way.

Life is a big fat risk.

(And truly, no pun or joke intended.)

We can risk it. Or we can hide from it.

This surgery and our following eating and exercise behaviors offer one thing and one thing only -- weight loss.

The rest of everything our weight has meant to us and how we tackle that stuff is up to each of us (and the other resources we can muster) to address.

Today, I'm really feeling the magnitude and complexity of everything else that's in the Pandora's box we open that has "WLS" written on the box lid.

Wow, between you and Sara the two of you broke my heart.

I don't have any great advice, but I will tell you that you are both very strong and that there is a great guy out there that probably feels the same way, that he hasn't been treated well. Stay strong, and improve yourself for you, not for anyone else.

i cant wait to be loved, i feel the same way, heavy all the time, never a relationship over 6months, single mother, i want to lose weight not only for me, but my son, who asks for a dad, so i am on the look out for the perfect guy, which would be a guy with kids, and he has partial or full custody, my thinking is, if hes good to his kids, then hes a good guy, and he needs to have a job, and a decent relationship with the kids mom.....lol wish list, but im ready for love...once my weight is down of course. but dont feel discouraged, and just get the weight off, love yourself for a while, and it will just hit you, without trying....thats what im hoping for

Although my first husband was an ass about my weight (and I wasn't nearly as fat back then, well over 100lbs less) I know there are good men out there for any sized women. You have to be open to love and look for that special quality in the man you choose. No matter what don't settle for an ass. If he doesn't want to be seen in public with you or introduce you to his family/friends drop him like a hot iron!!
My husband and I met when I was fat. My wedding dress was a size 18-20. He thinks I'm beautiful. He sees more then the outter package (although strangely enough he loves that too)

I want to lose weight, I don't want to be in pain anymore. I want to ride rollercoasters. I ant to fit into clothing without XXX's in front of them.

My heart is breaking for you. I agree there are men out there who will love you, no matter the size or shape. And I also REALLY understand what A**holes some people can be when it comes to weight issues. I have my share of scars.

Love yourself first is such wise advice...easier said than done sometimes. Have you considered therapy????

Much love and respect to you for being so brave and vulnerable to share your feelings so openly!

oh! I know the feeling of self resentment - for me it hit me later in life when i was at my highest weight of 326 pounds and living in a country (somewhere in Europe) where big was considered ugly and disgusting. This was very different from back home in Africa where the fellas always liked the extra junk in my trunk!

Thing is i have learnt that people will be mean to anyone they choose to dislike - regardless of their weight, sex, age or race. We cant change how people see us but we can change how we see ourselves. Its impossible to give love if we don't love ourselves first. So, screw the world (pardon my french). We don't have to be a certain weight or look a certain way to be loved. One can loose all the extra weight but still hate themselves - haven't you heard of thin single gals?
I guess all i'm trying to say is that what matters is really on the inside - how do we view ourselves? If we love us, and feel beautiful then we wont settle for anything or anyone that makes us feel ugly.