SOme thoughts about LIFE, 4.3 months post op

[Numbers]

I am NOT an old timer, I am not a overly experienced sleever, but I feel successful, and despite a world of challenges, I feel good about THIS part of life.... let me explain....

Like all of us I struggled with weight, studied this surgery 47 ways to Sunday, and decided to have it done in the best way for ME.

I am a CPA, I own a large firm, 15 employees, timing was a big deal to me, I was self pay in US Hospital, $18K, money was not the issue, timing was. So I had surgery 12/22, right before tax season, I was assured I could hit the ground in January and be okay.

A few days after surgery, I was okay. Sure, first few days sucked. Its is major surgery. Could not expect less.

Then the weight fell off. For a while. Then the stalls hit, for a while.

Then tax season really started cranking, 14 hour days, 9.5 days a week, I managed.

Then two weeks before tax season ended, Dad has to go to Vanderbilt Psych ward, been fighting dementia and paranoia, forth time in such a place. Week later Mom goes into local hospital, stroke, bleeding ulcer, blood sugar at 600, calls me and when I get there fights me calling an ambulance. Go figure. My family stuff not so good, I am like the kid who is trying to fight genetics and culture to break out.

So for the last month I been going 15 hours a day. Two younger brothers, one god one, one bad one, good one and I working to get parents in a better spot, bad one getting day pass from rehab (spent 80% of his adult life in prison or jail) and manipulating situation to steal from parents. Get them in rehab, get them to doc apts, get them in assisted living, get them moved, fight them not liking never being able to move home again, get mom to wound care, fight Dad hating nursing home were we have to park him while we try to get mom healthy enough to be his caregiver again, fight youngest brother playing emotional card everywhere and happens to be co-dependent with mom on his emotional behaviors.

In this, I am trying to run a $2mm/year professional services company that is growing at 30% a year. One key player out with heart attack, one out with stroke, my personal assistant's (work wife) mom get infection in jaw bone and spends a week in Vanderbilt ICU (Vanderbilt is 2 hours a way) over a bad dental visit. Another key player has this issues, then that issues, my rock solid team is having health issues like no one could ever imagine....

So guess what, I am not that worries about my stalls.....

Some how during all this, another 20 lbs down.

I am going to the assisted living and eating meals with parents frequently.... eat protein first... always a choice, salad or cottage cheese and fruit first. I make a good choice. Meal comes, I make a wise choice. I drink protein shake for breakfast. I get cravings for something sweet, I get 3 or 4 peanut M&M's. yal, I am cheating, screw anyone who criticizes me. In fact, I might do it twice a day.

I have ignored doctors orders, ignored paying attention, blown off all this stuff with exception of a very few basic rules:
Work out daily, I need the stress relief
Drink a LOT of water, I get 120 oz a day, I think I burn a lot of calories running to bathroom
Eat protein first
Make smart choices
Take vitamins

That is it, its all I am doing, had fried catfish today for lunch, its what assisted living cooked and I needed to have lunch with parents to get nurses there set up to change dressing on mom's toe. And I put on size 33" pants today. Yep they are to tight, I am not there yet, 34" are a BIT loose, but I'll get there.

So if you want to whine about your stall, get the fk over it, and get on about your life. This too shall pass. Life is to short to whine about unimportant stuff. Right now, I am celebrating I can take off a size 36" pair of Levis with them buttons by just sliding them off my not so fat ass.

And that, is enough for me to celebrate today.

[Lee6Lee]

You deserve to celebrate your fabulous weight loss! Congratulations!
Hope the situation with your parents becomes easier for you to manage. You sound like you're juggling many things. Although it hasn't affected your weight loss....always a GOOD thing!

[BayouDarlin]

I pray for your family and you Parents that yall have the strength to handle everything that is thrown at you. Congrats on your weight loss, you and I are only days apart, I was 12-26-14. Each day is a struggle and I agree, I too will have a lil sweet treat if I want, it is just satisfying, not indulging in it.

[Ann2]

I hear you, bro. Congratulations.

Life is what happens while we're making plans.

Onward and upward. The alternative sucks.

[cathbas]

what a realistic post...thank you for your honesty..my parents have passed, but i remember that time so well..the battles, the bad brother..yep..i remember all of it..but i didnt have the sleeve..that was when i ate to comfort myself..
the fact that you are doing so well..well..that is what this is all about..congrats...so great you are working out too...
our thoughts and prayers are with you during this time...

[Damasyn]

Congrats on keeping it together and not losing your mind !

[Numbers]

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Ann and Lee, you have been in my thoughts more than you know. I have been absent around here much of late, not by design, just by al I can do.

But really, this thing just seems to work. Goals seem to be coming along. Damn... I wore those size 33" jeans tonight, I was in size 40" after losing a bunch pre-op. Goal is not weight, its size 32", which is what I wore when I was running in and out of Kuwait and Iraq in first gulf war. WOW, during all this hell, when I can not focus on diet and tracking and workout and my trainer and all that jazz I been paying so much attention to for so long, things still still working. WOW, just wow....

I can fret about stuff, I am not getting as much protein in as I would like, I fear losing to much muscle. But I measure body fat each friday, or Monday, depending on of life lets me, and while weight drops, body fat drops faster, so I guess I am okay. I could do BETTER. I know that.

But the last guy who could not do BETTER was put on a cross some 2000 years ago, not sure I want to hold myself to that standard, so I think I will hold myself to this one. So I am okay.

I put on two Friends of NRA events a year, mine are late in the year. If anyone is an anti-gun nut drop off now, I do not want to hear it. You are wrong I am right, get over it.

Anyway, my buddies committee had their event tonight put on their event. I went and took a great client. I bought a safari in South Africa, for 4 really, really cheap. Plus a few fire arms, ate some BBQ chicken, not much of course, we all know none of us can eat much. No one noticed, or cared how much I ate. I drank a LOT of unsweet tea. Ate two hershey's kisses :-) Screw anyone who begrudges me that. Bought a flower thingie for Mom''s apartment door, something for Dad's wall, another couple of guns, who knows where I will put them, Was a GREAT stress relief

Those size 33" jeans fit better by the end of the evening than the beginning. Sure they stretched, but they are THIRTY THREES! And I still weight 213lbs! My buddies who weight 170 are wearing 34" or 36". That goal of 32" jeans is SOOOO close..... I love my buddies, never disparage, but I do benchmark....

Tomorrow I will go to lunch at assisted living place with mom and dad, its REALLY nice, big Mothers Day Lunch. I'll eat whatever they prepare. I'll just make smart choices. Cottage cheese and fruit instead of garden salad. ON the meal, protein salad, eat slow, small bites, chew well, protein first, stop when I am full, drink early, and after meal, but not during. Follow orders and forget thinking about it, got too many crisis to think about it.

And it will be okay, I will eat a bite or two of desert, it will be okay. I'll still lose over time. I might stall. If I could manage the stall, which I can't, I could bust it, but I can't. So I will ignore it, and I will still lose.

And in losing, I am winning. And that is enough. I am blessed

[Lee6Lee]

Numbers, thanks for the update. You''re an inspiration on many levels. Congratulations to you for all of your successes and milestones! And if anyone gives you pain for being yourself....I know jealousy when I see it!

[pattersonviv]

Hi Numbers
I also like the reality of your post. I am not on here as often as I was as I guess life just takes over. I understand the pressure of running a business and trying to make positive changes. I'm not 100% successful either but like you the changes are happening, not fast but the weight keeps trending down. Tinman would commend you on your approach to eating, I notice you are sensitive to being judged for it but each to their own and it sounds like your plan is working for you. All the best for getting into 32s.

[bigfish3]

Keep strong, you are doing a great job!

NRA lifer here. 1911 guy since my teens.. Carry on!

[Connie70]

You Rock!!

[readytobthin]

Bless U -- had only 1 parent in nursing home and I went bonkers-- U r a strong , awesome slim individual - KUDOS

[mlrisser]

Thank you thank you for saying what many of us are thinking! Stalls are a guarantee with this procedure. We've read countless posts about it and our doctors told us, and told us and told us. It's not news people. They happen! But you get through them. It does NOT mean the surgery isn't working. Stop worrying the stalls and take it from me when you're 2 years post op you'll be worrying about maintaining your new weight and that's not a temporary thing!

[Eve13]

I'm so very sorry for the many difficulties you're facing in you personal and professional life. You're being the right kind of man, though, by giving your time and so much energy to your mother and dad. Your weight loss is nothing short of spectacular, and I'm so happy you can get into those jeans! I've got a dress hanging in my closet I'm hoping to get back into someday! You're keeping my spirits up!

[tomigyrl]

Numbers! Good to hear from you again. You were the first poster on this forum whose posts I ever read, and I've been following your journey closely, albeit, from more behind the scenes. Congratulations on your successes, for taking care of your business, your family, your friends, and all the things that are important in your life, but namely, yourself during some trying times. Thank you for the candor. Your honesty is appreciated and it's good to have you and your posts back! Hugs to you!