Identity crisis?

[JAG322]

Hey all,
Feeling kinda off with my journey at this point. I'm down 34 and am 6weeks out...others I work with say they can see the difference in my face...others who have weight issues say they can see it over all...me...why can't I see it? Why am I mentally struggling with how I look and feel? I ran into a major mental block with puréed foods ( I'm a nurse for Pete's sake I should have this diet thing down right?). I'm tired of talking about my eating habits to my friends and husband cause I don't want to seem self centered or boring...frankly I'm sick of thinking about what I can and can't eat all the time...I'm also tired of pretending to be "normal"...we met up with distant family recently and went out to lunch...a burger place...I ordered cottage cheese and chili...didn't eat but 2 spoonfuls (it was gross not like we'd do if we were at home lets just say) and everyone else is eating whatever they want cause they either don't have to or don't want to watch their health. I also have this fear inside saying "we'll,I've lost this weight before and it's only 34 lbs. what if I gain it back...what if I don't reach my goal...what if I can't get passed this point?" Most of everyone I work with and all my family not my husbands knows about my surgery...my work knows so they could help me lift and such and my fam cause their my fam and supportive...my husbands side I don't know that well seeing we've been married only 10 months and I'm not an open book person to them. I didn't know if anyone else out there had similar feelings of fear and I guess failure and the whole not seeing the changes in my body or in me...one thing I do notice is that I do hold this change in my tummy very close to me and am becoming more private about it...it is a very personal journey I think and a journey no one other that us here can relate to...thanks for listening.

[NellieFL]

Six weeks out of surgery, huh? That's kind of like six weeks of dating. You're just getting to know your new "self" and guess what? In six more weeks things will look totally different, and six weeks after that and six weeks after that.... Pretty soon, you'll be nice and comfortable - settled in and having those "remember when we first met" conversations! Just remember, it's a process. You're in the first phase following surgery. It's better today than it was a Day 6, isn't it? This too shall pass! Be positive and good luck!

[Ann2]

Jonelle said it perfectly!

Everything's going to be OK.

[Angella67]

The mental thing will be with you for a long time. Most of us still see ourselves like we were when we started. I have lost 114 lbs and gone from a 24/26 down to a 12 and I still see a very fat person in the mirror. I still pick up clothes in the store and think "there is no way that will fit me" and then I try it on and it's too big. I can certainly look in the mirror and see a difference, but I don't see the difference everyone else sees. That's just one of the struggles that goes with this surgery, but it's one I can definitely live with!! Good luck!!

[CindyE]

Hi JaG322

I haven't even got the surgery yet and I'm having doubts.. I'm one month away from my surgery and I keep asking myself will this work for me? What if I don't loose weight? What if I don't loose enough? What if it doesnt work? well, I'm so tired of thinking of the What If's!!!! I'm love reading everyone stories on the forum, it has helped me alot with my What IF's... I think you are doing great, I hope I loose 34 in 6 weeks.
Give yourself some credit, your doing the right thing for You and nobody else.
I to have not told a lot of people about my journey, I'm kinda embarassed, but then again I'm not!! it's your business and nobody elese. When you are ready to tell people then you will, if not then who cares!

Take care Cindy