I fell off the wagon and am climbing back on...NOW!!!

[Batmanswifeislosing]

So a few months ago I fell off the wagon and boy did I fall HARD. I am over one year post op and got back to some old ways, cookies, lemon cake from starbucks, sugary drinks, breads, rice, basically anything that is bad for me, oh and on top of that year the treadmill has be oh so lonely! Got not he scale the other day totally naked and first thing int he morning and it read 200!!!! This is not okay, time to kick my own butt! I am back on the treadmill (did a 5k on the tread mill in 41:37) and I am back on protein shakes and clear liquids only for the next week. I am going back to the liquid diet for the same amount of time that my pre-op diet was. I am using that to remind myself just how HARD it was to get where I am and just how not okay my eating and lazy behaviors are. After my liquid diet time, I plan to bump back up to only soft foods for 2 weeks which I plan to use protein shakes for my protein and then blend vegetables and minimal fruits. I know I can do this and I know I will succeed because I have the support of ALL of my family and I know I can get extra support here too.
On a side note, I have never been able to drink the protein shakes, Ive just never found one that I could swallow, so before I used protein bars. I was in the grocery store the other day and saw that the Prue Protein bars that I LOVE have started making a powder so when I decided to go back to liquids I got some to try, I got the chocolate and WOW! Thank god it tastes nothing like the other shakes, its tasted good. My only complaint is its kind thick, but then again skim milk is even a little thick for me, I have a very sensitive gag reflex, I don't even think about yogurt or pudding LOL
I hope you all are having a good New Year and for anyone else who has fallen and is struggling just know that you can get back to where you were too, its hard but remember that you did it once. When I first got my pre op instructions I thought the doctor was NUTS, I thought I would starve to death and it was really hard to be REALLY hungry, but after 3 days it wasn't too bad, I just need to make it to the three day mark and then I will be okay. My plan is to just keep really busy! My house is going to be so clean and my kids are going to be so tired of going places like Monkey Joes (a place full of inflatable bounce houses that are AMAZING) and to the park. I will be avoiding my triggers like laying on the couch, no more chips or cookies, and no time at the mall where my favorite fast food place is.

[Jiffy]

You can do it - you sound very focused! Good Luck! New Year New you!!

[Ladykk]

Congratulations on taking control and starting over.

[Ann2]

Hi, batmanswideisloosing.

Have missed you. Glad to see you back, and I'm very interested in hearing about the results of your re-start. I hope you keep posting about it.

And I'm glad to hear about the new protein drink you've found. I think I'll try it out.

Ann

P.S. I would also love to hear anything more you want to share about the conditions / thinking that accompanied your regain. Thanks.

[Batmanswifeislosing]

Hi, batmanswideisloosing.

Have missed you. Glad to see you back, and I'm very interested in hearing about the results of your re-start. I hope you keep posting about it.

And I'm glad to hear about the new protein drink you've found. I think I'll try it out.

Ann

P.S. I would also love to hear anything more you want to share about the conditions / thinking that accompanied your regain. Thanks.

There really wre no thoughts about what I was doing until it was done Ann2. I would eat and then have the food guilt and for some reason it would not stop me, I would justify my bad behaviors with things like, "well you lost 140 lbs you deserve a lemon cake, they can't have that many calories" but I would not eat one! I would eat one and then 30 minutes later another and so on, just found out how many calories are in those delicious little devils...450 EACH. I ATE FOUR IN ONE DAY, HOLY SHIT!!! I stopped looking at tables and stopped measuring, I got cocky is basically what happened. But I have learned my lesson and am more determined that ever now. I will not live my life like that anymore. I will never fear my scale again like I did after a week of "rewards" I did not like feeling guilty, ashamed, scared, sad, and like a failure so I refuse to let myself down again. My food scale is back out on the counter as well as my measuring cups, I have bought TINY plates for when I get back to that stage, I will go back to weighing daily (I know some don't like that but it works best for ME) I will go back to at least walking on the treadmill everyday and I will remember that I don't have to kill it on the treadmill everyday as long as I am on it. I have found when I try o kill it everyday I am then so sick of it by the end of the week that I stop, so maybe just uphill walking for 5 days and running 2 days a week or some combination that I still need to find that will work for me. I need to stop eating on the couch again because it becomes mindless and I need to take control of my mind again, as I type right now all I can think of is some ruffles potato chips, then I think, how dare you mind, you will not highjack my body again, this is up to me not you!
I think most of my thoughts and feelings are normal for people who have slipped and fallen and just like others I know I will get back up brush off the dirt and move on.
How have you been doing Ann2, Looking at your ticker you like you are doing wonderful.

[Ann2]

I love your program. I especially like your "don't try to kill it, just do it" approach to exercise. Am heading upstairs to my treadmill as soon as I get through typing this -- in honor of your 2015 treadmill program.

I'm doing great. I'm not burning up the road, but losing steadily. But it's amazing how much I've changed in 20 weeks (as of tomorrow). I started early and lost 11 pounds before the pre-op diet (you can see my weight loss history in my signature below). I'm down 64 pounds, with another 21 to go.

My bariatric P.A. encouraged me to up my calories to 1,000 and increase plant protein to ratchet up my metabolism. I'm very focused on nutritious food--proteins, veggies, fruits. I don't do a lot of whole grains yet--am actually a little nervous about grains still. I haven't done a lot of alcohol or sweets yet--just a little.

I track my ass off on My Fitness Pal and have long used a Fitbit. Love 'em both. I agree with you about the value of tracking food. I also weigh daily, recording that on MFP. And I've got Excelsheets and graphs that would choke a hog. My bariatric team loves it when I come in with my 90-day graphs. They tell me that many patients have no idea how much protein they're eating or what they ate earlier than two days ago. It's hard for me to understand how patients are so lackadaisical about a journey they went through so much trouble to travel.

Oh, well -- not my circus, not my monkeys.

And now to the treadmill.

[azladyrider]

I did the same thing over the last year and a half - wasn't a big deal cause I was too thin but I still hated any gains - they were small but still....
Over the last month I bought a new house, remodeled it and moved in - didn't pay the scale any attention and was wearing leggings and sweatshirts every day since I was working on the house. When I finally found my scale and unpacked it I thought UH OH I am not gonna like this. I was shocked when I saw I had lost 8 pounds - so yeah lol
Getting antsy - tummy tuck surgery the week of the 13th. I have my final consult this Tuesday the 6th and then will set the surgery date. My last step in this long assed journey

[jane_vsg_ayla]

I track my ass off on My Fitness Pal and have long used a Fitbit. Love 'em both. I agree with you about the value of tracking food. I also weigh daily, recording that on MFP. And I've got Excelsheets and graphs that would choke a hog. My bariatric team loves it when I come in with my 90-day graphs.

OMG we could be twins I knew there was a reason I liked you! I have had a fitbit for years, an aria scale, and MFP for years. I know everything I have eaten for the past 4 years I think, and activity levels, etc. I LOVE numbers.

I see a trainer 3 times a week, and every day I see him I bring in my MFP food diary for the past few days along with two pages of charts and tables updated for the past few days so he can see 30/60 day trends etc. He uses me as an example for his other clients

[Stacy'sSleevedLife]

The Holidays are the worst, I know they are when I fall off and it seems so hard to get back on track. You can do this, you took the first step and realized the path you were on was destructive.

[kleb42]

Starbucks is a KILLER!! I work next door to one and they give me free things!!! Bringing back the lemon cake a few months ago, is the worst/best thing they have done to me! I have been trying to avoid it and I now get my coffee at the drive thru Starbucks so I don't have to see the lemon cake at all!

Sounds like you have it under control and I wish you luck!!

[Batmanswifeislosing]

well its not about 1:45pm my time and I AM SO HUNGRY!! LOL I have switched from taking it one day at a time to making it through this 5 minutes at a time. I am still mentally strong and I know I will make it but man I don't remember this being as hard last time, but last time I was allowed tomato soup and such this time I am water fast for 3 days (plus a protein shake) and will take on clear broths starting day 4 and continuing through day 10 but wow, how could I work this hard at something and then so easily allow myself to back slide, I can't believe how easy it was to forget how hard it was LOL

[Ann2]

LOL! I think you just forgot how hard the pre-op diet was.

Look for those threads. People get REALLY bitchy.

[Joe Poppa]

Dust yourself off, get back on that weightloss horse and keep riding.

We all make mistakes from time to time, it's called being a human. You lost over 100 pounds so far, that is fantastic!

Know your weaknesses and strengths and use those to your advantage. You can do it!

[jane_vsg_ayla]

Try some sugar free gum or cough drops, or brush your teeth when it seems really hard...

Sigh... I remember those days. I have been known to lick Doritos...

[Batmanswifeislosing]

My 4 year old is eating and apple and I am concerned that I might bite HIM soon LOL