About M&M

Sleeved or not sleeved:

I have had a gastric sleeve.

Biography:

I am a 24 year old woman who has had weight issues my whole life. I am married with 1 child who is 4 years old. I've been overweight my whole life but it became a scary deal when my mother passed away when i was 17. Food was my coping mechanism. I dropped 80 pounds in college just because I was too busy to focus on anything else... the very unhealthy way... because of dropping this weight so quickly, i instantly became pregnant. While I was pregnant with my 4 year old I gained ALL 80 pounds BACK..every last pound... it was such a struggle from there. I was still going to school, i had post partum depression, which lasts alot longer than people think it does. On top of problems with my significant other. I could NEVER get the weight off. Everything (food) seemed comforting to me. And because I had Noone else to turn to for comfort, food was my best option. I started and quit diets like changing clothes... it was so awful.

When we were getting ready to get my child baptized was when I decided I HAD to do something or I would live a depressing life forever. I went through my entire closet trying on every piece of clothing I owned. I cried. I screamed. I became so furious with myself. I tried so hard to wear something to slim me out at least. But it seemed as if I was busting out of everything I put on. I had the worst emotional breakdown I've ever had in my life. It was so bad, that I physically felt pain in my chest. I STILL remember it to this day...

The outfit I chose to wear was suffocating me. Yet, it was the only option that looked relatively decent and didn't make it seem like I was "busting out" of it as much as all my other outfits. It was the most depressing day when it was supposed to be such a happy and spiritual day, as we were bringing my child to be baptized. Instead of focusing on him, like I should have been, my focus was on myself. "Do I look disgusting in this? Are people staring at my love handles hanging over? Do I look miserable? Can they tell I'm smiling with joy for my babies baptism or do I look like I'm forcing a constipated smile because my face is too fat to smile correctly?" This was in my head the entire time.... then the cameras began flashing. This gave me horrible anxiety, crucial self discrimination, and the urge to hide myself from those flashes...

After his baptism, our family wanted to go eat. I lied and said I felt so sick just so I wouldn't have to go out in public looking like a whale and do what I did best.....eat.

I cried the whole way home. I cried for hours at home. I hated myself everytime I looked in a mirror.. I felt like a beast. Like I couldn't even portray my true personality because of my weight, my figure, my total appearance.

I took hours getting ready to go places because I did everything I could to TRY to conceal my flaws.... I literally hated myself and usually decided to just not go to certain things because of it. I had missed out on SO much in life simply because of embarrassment and shame. I wouldn't enjoy myself anyways; I'd be too busy pulling my shirt down.. pulling my pants up over my stomache, trying to suck in the entire time standing instead of sitting so my "muffin top" wouldn't become worse. I lived a very miserable life even though I had the most wonderful life. I had a sweet baby boy who deserved all my love and attention. A husband who deserved my love and compassion to assure he was wanted. But I couldn't even make myself feel worthy enough to show affection towards the one person who loved me and wanted me because of my personality. Not because of my appearance. It was a dark and deadly trap.

I couldn't do it anymore. I HAD TO do something. Had to change my appearance so I could finally match my personality. I decided to take the first step and schedule a consultation with a local bariatric surgeon to see what my options were. The sleeve seemed like my best option because I could NEVER Keep up with the lapband. (I also know several who have had success with it, and didn't keep up with the maintenence and gained all their weight back plus more) i personally wasnt even risking that.

I used Dr. Chung in Lake Charles, Louisiana. He is absolutely AMAZING! Made me feel so comfortable with my decision, asked questions which would help me determine if I truly wanted this surgery. It was a definite YES! I was ready! Ready to feel free! To feel healthy! To feel wanted and sexy. And most of all, feel like a human, a mother, a wife.

On August 21, 2012, i began my new life of a sleever. And lived everyday like it was my last. I had hope finally. Had faith. Knew i could recover from this overweight fad ive fought forever. My first 10 pounds i lost, made me a new person! Even though i really couldnt feel it and people couldnt really tell, just seeing the difference on the scale was enough hope for me.

Location:

Lake charles, LA

Interests:

shopping!!and spending time with my sweet baby boy who deserves every ounce I have to offer

Occupation:

Pharmacy Technician

Name:

Miranda

Gastric Sleeve Surgeon:

Keith Chung

Surgery date:

2012-08-21