12 Months Post Op and Depression

[LillAbee]

I thought losing 82 lbs would make me smile. I thought having a BMI of 28.8 would make me happy. I felt great and now I am depressed. I have a lot going on in my life besides the weight loss but I really thought that the happiness from losing all this weight would make me excited!! Here's what I am going through:

I seem to want to eat more often and eat bad things. Nothing healthy sounds good to me and I try to select better foods yet, I am fighting an old demon. I am stressed out and angry a lot. I want to withdrawal from people, family and friends and I would rather chase food than to excersize. I am depressed. I cry over everything and I fight with my family and people outside my family. I find myself on edge a lot.

I relate this to my weight loss because for many years preceeding this journey I was pretty stable. Don't get me wrong, I could be moody or sad but this is different...

I'm seeking a counselor now and although I've only attended three sessions having someone understand me if phenominal. I just wish I could have her there everytime I needed a friend :-(

Advice please?!!!!!!!

[TucsonAmy]

Melisa.....I hope the counselor will consider recommending an antidepressant for you. You describe the classical symptoms of depression. This condition has nothing to do with weight gain or loss. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain. What i hear you saying is you are trying to address your emotions in the same way you did before losing weight......FOOD. It would be a shame if you gave in to that, and in the long run it won't ease your disatisfaction with life. There are so many people who live unhappily day to day with depression and don't think there is any other way to be. Please discuss this with your counselor/therapist. Even though she may not be able to prescribe, she can refer you to someone who can. You need to be proactive with this before you fall back into your old habits, which will only add to your depression.

Is there a support group in your area for sleevers? Sometimes you can find a group that offers support for various issues in your life. It is apparent you benefit from validation, as we all do!

Sending you good wishes for a brighter day.

[Grace]

I agree with Amy. Not only do I feel you have a depressive disorder but I'd bet you've had it for a long time and were un-knowingly self medicating with food for a long time. ( This is very common! ) Then while you were losing weight, there were endorphins running around in you from the change in food, the exercise, the high of losing weight. Now the chemicals are balancing back to where you were before losing weight and you don't have either the sugars or the weight loss chemicals to help.
I fully expect this to happen to me as well, which is why I've been asking around about it to my doc, my therapist (also a doc)...
If you are comfortable with the thought you may need some small amounts of meds to get/stay on track, a trip to your doctor would seem to be a good idea....
hope you get to feeling better soon!

[Janese58]

For sure you have to find a way to cope with life without food as your buffer now. This is classic. Without the comfort of food when you are angry, sad, frustrated, etc.... you now get angry, sad, frustrated etc. Before you just ate to make yourself feel better. We all do it, some without even realizing they are doing that. When I got home from the hospital I noticed that I was more emotional and unhappy as I sat here watching tv at night resenting my boyfriend of 9 years for whatever or nothing. I use to just eat ice cream or cookies when I got mad now I "couldnt" eat so I was left with these feelings of "now what" do I do? I now have to actually tell him what is wrong and cant just hold it in. He sure wishes things werent like that but oh well. He also now has to communicate with me or at least pretend to. This is why some people need after care. Losing weight is almost never the end all we may think it might be.

[LillAbee]

I really dont believe I need medication to cope. Im hoping to find resources via counseling to help me cope with life better without taking medication.... I believe coping is something I need to learn and not mask with an anti-depressant. If I do have an imbalance this could be different... I might be in denial?

[TucsonAmy]

You may be in denial or you may be right. Only you will know for sure. With the help of a therapist you will hopefully discern the right answer. I'm just saying be open to the possibility that you may have had this a long time and just masked it with food. Now you don't have that buffer, so all your feelings are coming to the surface. Also, IMHO anti-depressants don't mask your feelings. They help you cope and enable you to uncover whatever it is that's really the issue. Believe me, i am not a pill pusher. But there have been times in my life that i needed something to help me see the whole picture more clearly. I just couldn't see it from the depression hole i had dug for myself.

I wish you the best and wish for you a happy life. We all derserve that!

[mamma2boys]

I haven't yet gotten the sleeve but i have a lot of experience with depression and i truly sympathize with you because i know how hopeless that feels. Everyone is different but the solution for me was antidepressants. That helps with the cloud... Unfortunately, the urge to eat has never been solved with medication. Being on the pre-op diet i found it helpful to drink water to stave off the beast. I also have to stay away from situations and places that trigger my compulsion to eat. Much like analcoholic reaaly shouldn't go to bars or have liquor at home...

[TucsonAmy]

Good luck with your surgery Tuesday! Let us know how you are doing. (I love the name of your doctor.)

[angel2206]

As already mentioned I also expect to have trouble reconciling the fact that I will no longer be able to feed my sadness when it happens. I will no longer be able to binge behind closed doors. This will be good for my physical health, but I also worry about what will happen to me mentally when this crutch is taken away. I have already been considering what I can do about it. One thing I am thinking about that may help is Overeaters Anonymous. It is a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous, but obviously for food addicts. It is free, and a supportive safe place full of people like us who are addicted to using food as a drug of sorts. This might be a good non-drug alternative to try if you are opposed to going straight to pills. Good luck

[Lynda]

Hiya Melissa; I agree with what has already been said here, it does sound like you have depressive illness - possibly brought about by the 'loss' of food.
I know you said that you dont agree with medication, but sometimes medication is needed to help initially and get through this rough patch - doesnt mean you have to be on it for life. Along with a counsellor and medication I am sure you can get through this.
I wish you all the best for the future.
cheers. Lynda

[Sammyf]

It's sad how the stigma of mental health can impact a persons options on wanting to feel better. I suffer from depression and have for years and with the help of psychologists and anti depressants I can live a normal life. My doctor once explained it to me like this "if you had a heart attack and one aspirin a day would help give you your life back would you do it?" It's thesame with depression. One tablet a day that no one needs to know about can help you live life a happy and normal life. Its such a small thing but the way other people treat you is the thing that lets you down. You can treat depression but you can't treat how other people treat you.

Good luck with the psychologists. I know talking to one has changed my life for the better. X

[LillAbee]

I almost feel as though I am making excuses to self sabatoge. My biggest fear is regaining the weight yet I know every other time I lost weight, I gained it back X2! I believe Im going to regain my weight! This is part of my depression! I have unreasonable & unrealistic thoughts. I might need medication and my counselor is pushing that possibility but Im extremely capable of learning & I personally feel strong enough to do it without meds especially if I have the right help :-)