Mixed feelings on newfound attention

[LBurtie]

Hello all. So I'm having a hard time adapting to the newfound attention. Obviously it's excited and flattering but a part of me is saddened by it. It's bittersweet that it took me losing 80 pounds to be treated so well. It took losing 80 pounds for women and men alike to compliment me. Don't get me wrong, I always had a certain presence and swagger (not trying to sound arrogant) but now it's quite ridiculous. I can't go anywhere without someone speaking to me, complimenting me, approaching me. It's overwhelming. I don't know how to receive it at times. I'm always polite and smile and say thank you. But sometimes I wish I could blend in a little. I wish people appreciated my brain, wit, sense of humor. I don't mean to whine. I'm just wondering if anyone out there can relate. If so how did you handle it?

[Kazoogirl]

I totally agree. It was a total shock the first time I was actually hit on. We are so used to being invisible then to be visible again is a very bizarre feeling. I hadn't had that attention in 20+ years! I too kinda felt weird about it and kinda sad that we live in such a world that looks are so important. But it's a fact people are just that way. I have just accepted that we live in a society where people are nicer to beautiful people. You're not gonna change the world so just enjoy the flattery.

[ncubed03]

I just started wearing make-up again and I bought a new bra and I am getting a lot more attention. It is so weird because I had pretty much given up and now it's so different in just 2 months. It is almost overwhelming but fun too. It's also fun to make my husband of 23 years a little bit jealous although he seems to take it as a compliment when other men notice me now.

[Bombshell2Be]

I am right there with you!!... It's fun and harmless when some of my very close guy friends make comments about my appearance, but I've been outright "hit on" a few times, once by a stranger, and twice by acquaintances, and it makes me feel VERY uncomfortable!!... I must say though, you do look fabulous! Congrats on all of your hard work

[curvygalgettinsmaller]

I know what you mean although some of the reactions are not positive. I've had a few female friends actually pass comments like "Oh, now that you're getting thin you're not gonna want to hang out with us), or other people avoiding me as if giving a compliment costs something?! I am having a hard time with the female "friends" many of whom just want to know how much I've lost but then when they see me they don't say anything = I don't get it?!

[Jeanie]

It is very strange indeed! Went out just last weekend for girls night out and a guy at the bar would not leave me alone, even after telling him that I was married and not interested!! It took a old guy friend, who happened to be there, and also happens to be an arms specialist for the Marines, taking this guy aside and saying something to him. Not sure what was said, but the guy left the bar!! I have NEVER been in that situation before. I am also amazed at how better my service is at stores, restaurants, etc. how sad is our society?

[Mich-D]

Good post. I too have mixed feelings about the attention and compliments from co-workers. Although I have great success in such a short time, I feel uncomfortable about people who wouldn't give me the time of day or pretended I was invisible as they walked by me in the halls. Now people are coming up to me like they are my best friend. I have recently been passed over for two positions and I can't help think my weight was a detractor.

[trhaye3]

Hello all. So I'm having a hard time adapting to the newfound attention. Obviously it's excited and flattering but a part of me is saddened by it. It's bittersweet that it took me losing 80 pounds to be treated so well. It took losing 80 pounds for women and men alike to compliment me. Don't get me wrong, I always had a certain presence and swagger (not trying to sound arrogant) but now it's quite ridiculous. I can't go anywhere without someone speaking to me, complimenting me, approaching me. It's overwhelming. I don't know how to receive it at times. I'm always polite and smile and say thank you. But sometimes I wish I could blend in a little. I wish people appreciated my brain, wit, sense of humor. I don't mean to whine. I'm just wondering if anyone out there can relate. If so how did you handle it?

I have not always been overweight, I remember not being invisable, since I have gained weight I have been treated differently. It is crazy. I don't even know how to handle it either way. It is sad that people cannot see past the weight, to the person. But, as for you my dear you were beautiful before, and you are now, and have worked hard to get there. Those abs did not just happen without work. I want you to look at your before and after pics. Did you notice that you did not include the pic of your face in the befores? I just wonder if you and we all, don't feel the same way as the people who are giving the attention, but we being in the situation realize we have only changed on the outside the inside is the same, it is just we have now done something about our outcome and our future. I know I don't like being overweight and I don't like what I see in the mirror anymore so why should other people be any different, if that makes any since. People are going to be people, but If you don't want the attention I think it is just too late you look great and good looking people get attention. : )

[JustWantToBeHealthyAgain]

I too have gotten some increased attention from males and females alike and it's extremely uncomfortable. I hate it. Damn it, I'm still me just smaller. Wish other people would stop concentrating on my weight or rather, lack there of....

[trhaye3]

Good post. I too have mixed feelings about the attention and compliments from co-workers. Although I have great success in such a short time, I feel uncomfortable about people who wouldn't give me the time of day or pretended I was invisible as they walked by me in the halls. Now people are coming up to me like they are my best friend. I have recently been passed over for two positions and I can't help think my weight was a detractor.

Wow, that is deep. I have friends of all ranges of weights and I did not understand what my heavier friends have been complaining about until I gained. Weight plays more a role in our lives than we know. I know it is wrong but it is factual. Really sad.

[idigfrstbase]

People act different when heavier too. less social, more likely to be angry or defensive. I have yoyo dieted my whole life and was treated differently, but i acted different too. When i lost weight the last time people would comment on how wonderful i looked, and i thought "Christ i must have been hideous before". Now heavy again i remember those comments and feel hideous. I try to be very careful when someone i know/love loses weight. I mention how much better they must feel and tell them i think they are beautiful all the time. I think we all have to change our way of thinking. I have to focus on health because having surgery is very frightening and to think i would do it for looks is wrong. looking nice and feeling good are important. Health and longevity has to be first......
Good post topic. thanks.

[trhaye3]

When my family sees me whom I have not seen in awhile or friends from my past see me, I have to tell you, I don't like that either. They don't even recognize me, and I find myself saying hi, but when they stare at me and don't recognize me, I think that is sad and embarrassing too. It should not matter but I guess it does. I don't care if I get a compliment or not, I just want to get back to what I remember as normal. Healthy,without the pain, and the health issues and without the heaviness. I see people who are absolutely TRAPPED!!! in their bodies and have no idea there is an answer to their situation. I just want to tell people, you don't have to continue to struggle like this. This is just a very complex situation. I love all people, all shapes and sizes, but I am not the norm. I heard a lady say this in a speech " People are the strangest animals in the barn", I never forgot it because it is sooooooo true. Thank you for this post. We need eachother here. This is truly a life changing procedure. Good and bad/difficult to understand.

[Mermaidmb]

I live in S Fl where all the body obsessed people live, I also wasn't overweight until my late 20's and could bat my eyes at anyone and get what I wanted then. Fast forward some years and people would back away from me like they would catch fat by being too close to me, it was an awfulness feeling. At least I have a new job where people didn't know me fat and can't believe when I show pictures or try on my size 26 pants that could now fit 2 of me. Plus my husband is now jealous when I get looked at or run into an old male friend. The world just treats the fat people cruelly look at all the controversy about Melissa McCarthy magazine cover and she looked great.

[Nick Nic]

You are very right. People are very shallow, unfortunately. When I was a size 8-10, I kid you not, every single day someone told me I was either pretty or beautiful. Then the weight gain and the compliments were reduced to a hesitant "you have a pretty face...." I am chuckling to myself as I type this because people are such a trip!

[LBurtie]

Wow! Ladies. Thank you for all your awesome feedback. Don't get me wrong it feels great to be wanted. It feels great to be complimented. I have worked hard to get here and I am not finished! I guess it's just a little overwhelming. I don't know how to receive it all. I try to be graceful and thankful but sometimes I get nervous and shy. AND I'm NOT SHY! Plus I'm dating again and some guys are really put off by it. Although I will say, I don't want a man that can't handle me getting compliments. Been there done that and it SUCKED! I love the sisterhood. You girls just get it!