Nothing nice to say......BLAH BLAH BLAH

[CoComom]

I made the decision to "tell" about my surgery early on and for the most part everyone has been very supportive and positive. Well there is always that one person that just can't say a single nice thing. When she does talk to me it is negative or said in a sarcastic way. As most of you know I researched and ask questions before I had surgery. I found all the info I could in order to make an educated decision about my health and surgery. My co-worker had a gastric bypass surgery about 10 years ago and has not done well with it. She has gained all her weight back and then some. She has also had other issues she blames her failure on. I did not know her then. When she found out about my surgery she said I was making a mistake. I explained to her about the sleeve surgery and how it works. All she had to say was how you can always cheat with these surgeries. When I got back to work after surgery I was not eating right and losing nothing but water weight according to her. (I have been the model patient and done everything I was told to do) Apparently she is asking others about what I am eating for lunch. Today took the cake....."You know that you are going to lose all that hair in a couple of months and your going to have a bunch of saggy skin because you are losing to fast. You are only supposed to lose at the most 1/2 pound a day." Well that did it. I informed her that I was aware that I could lose some hair and that it would grow back and that according to my Doctors I am not losing to fast I am right on target. I hope she gets over what ever she is going through. I would tell her to buzz off but it would only make it weird for everyone there. Thanks for letting me vent ! I feel much better now.

[nana banana]

Jealousy gas reare it's ugly head. Good for you in responding kindly. Don't let her get you down!

[short sleeve]

I would just chalk it up to a coworker that is jealous of your success. You are doing very well, I would imagine others in the office know that she had weight loss surgery and your great success is making her (in her mind) look bad. She needs to get off your cloud, if she wants to feel better about herself perhaps you can find a way to suggest that she watch the diet and get to the gym otherwise she is just a bump in your road to a healthy lifestyle. Your doing great keep it up.

[Kelli D]

It sounds like a person living in some big regret for the weight that she has gained and couple that with a good dose of jealousy with your success. This is a hard one to balance because you have a modicum of empathy for her and yet a lot of frustration with what she is dealing out with your success. I hope she backs off of you because you are going to lose a lot of weight and look terrific and she is just going to (sadly)hate herself even more. Maybe your success will motivate her to try and lose some of her weight. I am not siding with her behavior at all just trying to see where she is coming from. You just keep on being you and doing a terrific job. Clearly your coworkers can see what is going on.

[niamh]

I would just start some broken record techniques rather than respond to the content of her comments.

e.g. she says "You're not eating right/you're going to lose hair/you're losing too fast"

at the moment you're responding to content by saying things like "I'm following my NUT guidelines/I realise I might lose hair/my surgeon says I'm on track"

what you could say is "I realise you're concerned, but I don't find these comments helpful when I'm trying to keep positively focused, and also trying to just get on with my work. I'd prefer we didn't discuss my surgery".

Each time she brings it up, just a sligthly different version of the same words, e.g. "I know you have experience of surgery, but I'd really prefer we didn't discuss this in detail while I'm at work".

Refuse to get drawn into justifying or responding to the specifics of her comments. Always be pleasant and use a nice tone. But it will shut the other person down if you don't get caught up in answering the content.

If she doesn't respond to those types of direct requests to stop discussing it, each time she brings it up, find a reason not to respond and stop the conversation. e.g. "sorry, I just remembered I have a phone call/letter/email I have to attend to" ..... "sorry I don't really have time for a detailed chat, I've got a lot on". If you can, leave the room even. Always a pleasant voice, etc so it's not perceived as unfriendly/hostile. But it does and will work.

Good luck!

[bessie.marshall]

tell her to go suck an egg.....lol.

[ArizonaShell]

I have one person that I'm avoiding (and I haven't even had my surgery yet), but it's my brother. Unfortunately, he's just nervous and always heard bad things about surgery so he's been stuck on the negative and just being hurtful only because he's not educated on this type of surgery. I can avoid him, but your co-worker seems to be in your face. Just remember that there's always one dark cloud ready to rain on your parade. Don't let it get to ya... there's many more bright and happy clouds to keep providing the sunshine that you need (yourself is first and foremost the most important, sunshine!!). Good for you for saying what you needed to say. Unfortunately, she just sounds like a very unhappy person (and that's sad). Kudos to you girl!!

[greenmomma]

I'd give her a good hard punch in the balls. .

[Rose69]

It seems to me she failed, and missery loves company! Don't ever let anyone bring you down, you follow your doctor's instructions and you will be successful!

I made the decision to "tell" about my surgery early on and for the most part everyone has been very supportive and positive. Well there is always that one person that just can't say a single nice thing. When she does talk to me it is negative or said in a sarcastic way. As most of you know I researched and ask questions before I had surgery. I found all the info I could in order to make an educated decision about my health and surgery. My co-worker had a gastric bypass surgery about 10 years ago and has not done well with it. She has gained all her weight back and then some. She has also had other issues she blames her failure on. I did not know her then. When she found out about my surgery she said I was making a mistake. I explained to her about the sleeve surgery and how it works. All she had to say was how you can always cheat with these surgeries. When I got back to work after surgery I was not eating right and losing nothing but water weight according to her. (I have been the model patient and done everything I was told to do) Apparently she is asking others about what I am eating for lunch. Today took the cake....."You know that you are going to lose all that hair in a couple of months and your going to have a bunch of saggy skin because you are losing to fast. You are only supposed to lose at the most 1/2 pound a day." Well that did it. I informed her that I was aware that I could lose some hair and that it would grow back and that according to my Doctors I am not losing to fast I am right on target. I hope she gets over what ever she is going through. I would tell her to buzz off but it would only make it weird for everyone there. Thanks for letting me vent ! I feel much better now.

[gini]

Hang in there!

[ThisIs4Me]

Im with greenmomma! U have been nice to her and she is still bein an ass, I say punch her in the balls!

[turtlewoman]

Good for you Cocomom. You have to stand up for yourself. You know what you're doing and you know you're doing the right things. Hang in there and blessings to you. I'll pray for your coworker.

[niamh]

I have one person that I'm avoiding (and I haven't even had my surgery yet), but it's my brother. Unfortunately, he's just nervous and always heard bad things about surgery so he's been stuck on the negative and just being hurtful only because he's not educated on this type of surgery.

For this very reason I didn't tell my father about my surgery until the day before. My father is a very anxious man, and there's no way he would have reacted in any other way than to be convinced that something bad was going to happen to me by having surgery. Whether or not he would have said very much to me about it I'm not sure (pretty sure he would have tried to talk me out of it at least once, but in a kind way), but I didn't see there was any benefit for either of us in him knowing about it when there was no way I was changing my mind, and there's no way he could do anything but feel bad about my decision. So I rang him the morning before, told him (and his wife), and left him with his stunned thoughts and didn't speak with him again until after the surgery - and my husband texted him straight after surgery to say i was ok. I contemplated not telling him at all until afterward, but then decided that I should in case something *did* happen in surgery, and didn't want my husband to have to break the news to him cold. I had the advantage that I live a long way from my family, and that they don't see/speak with each other all the time that I could tell my other family members and they weren't put in an awkward position around my Dad. In any case, it was only a few weeks from when I decided to when I had the surgery, so I didn't get all that much of a chance to talk to anyone about it very much.

My boss tried to talk me out of it when I told him. At first the conversation started like interested/concerned questions about the procedure which I was happy enough to respond to because I wanted to help people feel ok about it if they were worried. But then the conversation was getting longer and longer and he started asking 'have you done X diet", "have you thought about Y", and I finally realised what was happening when I noticed I was starting to feel a bit irritable. So I said "Just so you know, I was telling you just to inform you, not get your opinion on whether or not I have the surgery", and then we both laughed.

[Adele]

Hi, I have told very few people about my upcoming surgery. When I really think about it, that is, my decision to tell only 3 people, I find it is really complex. Yes, I feel it is very much related to what I now understand as - the realisation that I have been in a 30 year deprivation, and moreover a abusive cycle of dieting . A "cycle of abuse" which I might add, the multi international billon $ diet industry has/is getting very, very rich from. Meaning of course, these companies are getting rich by and through people's suffering . After all, this industry totally relies on a cycle of people being overweight, losing weight and of course, people regaining the weight they lost. So, part of the reasoning for not telling people who I feel may give me negative comments is one of, I feel I have had and given myself, enough abuse regarding my body!

[mskitti]

Combine bullying with jealousy and u get someone like ur co worker. My boss had a gastric band three years ago and is still 10 kilos off goal, I reached goal after 8 months. I ended up having a meeting with her direct boss to have the comments stopped. People like those women are jealous and can't help themselves. My counsellor gave me good advice. Just say something like " sorry I didn't hear what u said" or " can u repeat that please?" Takes the wind out of their sails. Jealousy is a curse.