Judgmental Co-workers

[beccah90]

**DISCLAIMER: Girl problems about to be discussed**

So, my time of the month started today and because of my PCOS, my periods are AWFUL. I was craving some chocolate (as always) and I decided to half a small plain Hershey's chocolate candy bar with another friend. I split it in half because I like to control what I eat - I didn't want the whole thing..just enough to curb that craving.

I know that for me, if I don't eat half of that candy bar that I will go home and DEVOUR everything chocolate that I can find. And that would be a horrible, horrible thing.

I got back to my desk at work and told some co-workers that I had half a candy bar to help relieve some cramps. One responded with "You know da** well that you're not supposed to have that...and neither is your friend (who has had the sleeve done for about a year)." My blood started boiling immediately.

She has NO idea how hard this pre-op diet is, what I'm feeling/going through, and what works/doesn't work for me. She doesn't know that if I don't have a little, I'll have a lot. She doesn't know that I haven't had ANY chocolate anything for two months. I could have slapped her...but I need my job.

Do any of you have judgmental co-workers/friends/family members that criticize EVERY move you make? What do you do? What helps you ignore them and their comments? Any tricks on keeping your anger down?

[Batmanswifeisloosing]

I agree you shouldn't have had it but thats not my place or hers to say! I had things I shouldn't on my pre op diet, I was 10 days. I had some sugar free candy, a bite of grilled chicken, and a few bite of other stuff and I was supposed to be clear liquid only. If she has not had the surgery or gone through the pre op diet then she has no clue how hard this is. Its not just having surgery and being worried and such its also very hard because weather we like to admit it or not, we are going through food withdrawals. Dealing with food addiction is so much harder than dealing with other addictions. I quit smoking and it was easy compared to this, I don't need cigarettes to live but I still have to eat. I think your just fine, it was a slip and now you just get up brush off and hop back on the diet. You will be just fine and just keep telling yourself that her opinion means nothing.

Also just saw that you are 20 days out...Your fine. no worries

[niamh]

Yep she's judgemental. My way of dealing with jugemental people was not to tell many people that I was having surgery, and not to tell them stuff about what I was eating etc. The world is full of people behaving like arses, so you need to make your choices accordingly.

It's easier to put on a pair of slippers, than to carpet the whole world.

[Truffles]

People are going to judge. Some are vocal about it, though.

Don't justify yourself. If you eat half a chocolate bar, you are under no obligation to explain why. Offering an explanation only opens the door for judgment.

[Think]

It's easier to put on a pair of slippers, than to carpet the whole world.

Niamh, I LOVE this quote! So very true

[robertajanzen]

the sleeve police???

[Ladyinwaiting]

sometimes people are trying to be helpful, but sometimes they are just nosey.. You should have looked at her after shoving it in your mouth and say..ummmmmm delicious. Maybe I'll have another...lol

[ohrachel07]

my coworkers are the exact same! I work in a salon and it is SO hard. I wanted to not tell many people about my surgery but its just so hard when youre so excited. Before my 10 day pre op diet I went where I was eating my "lasts" of everything. thats what my friends who had this same surgery done told me to do.. and of course i was gonna do it anyway because i would miss all that stuff haha! anyways... they would all tell me why dont you start your liquid diet before you have to so that its easier..... IT IS NOT GONNA GET ANY EASIER TO BE ON A LIQUID DIET WHETHER YOURE ON IT FOR 1DAY OR 2MONTHS! IT SUCKS!!! I tried to ignore them but most of the time I just told them.... Just wait until I'm smaller and then tell me that this surgery isnt gonna work or that I'm not gonna be successful (because they would say all these mean things as well) We will ALL show these negative people what we are REALLY about in about a year if not sooner!!!

[beccah90]

While I know I SHOULDN'T have had the chocolate, it's never anyone's right to tell me how to live my life/diet. And I'm not even sleeved yet!! Sheesh!

Thanks for the support ladies! I'm already down 21 pounds from the pre-op diet and haven't started my full-liquid diet yet. I definitely believe that not only will I succeed with this, I am going to excel!!

[girliegirl777]

That seems like such an over reaction to have. It's also kind of motherly in a somewhat dysfunctional way. I wonder if she has something invested in your success or cares more than you know. I have watched people in my family deal with alcohol addiction and it is so hard when you want them to stop and can't do anything about it. It must be that way for people who love us and wish they could stop making us eat.

[Kindle]

...

[LtWeight]

Yep she's judgemental. My way of dealing with jugemental people was not to tell many people that I was having surgery, and not to tell them stuff about what I was eating etc. The world is full of people behaving like arses, so you need to make your choices accordingly.

It's easier to put on a pair of slippers, than to carpet the whole world.

I did exactly the same thing because I knew the people who I would have problems with and I didn't want to even deal with them.

[erinja]

I agree you shouldn't have had it but thats not my place or hers to say! I had things I shouldn't on my pre op diet, I was 10 days. I had some sugar free candy, a bite of grilled chicken, and a few bite of other stuff and I was supposed to be clear liquid only. If she has not had the surgery or gone through the pre op diet then she has no clue how hard this is. Its not just having surgery and being worried and such its also very hard because weather we like to admit it or not, we are going through food withdrawals. Dealing with food addiction is so much harder than dealing with other addictions. I quit smoking and it was easy compared to this, I don't need cigarettes to live but I still have to eat. I think your just fine, it was a slip and now you just get up brush off and hop back on the diet. You will be just fine and just keep telling yourself that her opinion means nothing.

Also just saw that you are 20 days out...Your fine. no worries

Ohhhhh - AMEN. You are preaching to the choir. I too quit smoking 23 years ago...can't count the time's I've lamented to friends that it's one thing to quit smoking cold turkey...you can do it when you are mentally ready. However, food - we can't do without food. we can't banish it, no matter how much we'd like to. It IS an freaking addiction.

[erinja]

Try to refrain from volunteering information if you don't want their judgements. You don't have to tell anyone you just ate 1/2 candy bar. It's none of their business. I've chosen not to tell anyone about my surgery (other than my sister in case I have complications, and my partner at work to explain the time off). i dont feel the need to call attention to my obesity or to risk any negative judgements from others that would stress me out.

I too am coming to that decision - I've shared with my brother and sister and partner and 1 coworker that I trust...and at some point will have to tell my boss. I don't want to, because it's a very private thing...but getting the time off work requires sharing that tidbit . My brother was glad - he said he has been worried about me for awhile. My sister, oddly enough, was lukewarm about the idea. I was alittle hurt, but didn't push it. My coworker immediately offered to come help me post op (and that's why she's a bestie...). My partner? He says he supports me and that my health is important. However, he also says he thinks it can be done without surgery - with discipline and support. Sooo...I'm alittle worried about how this might affect us in the long run. But bottom line - this is for me - to get me healthy and hopefully add some years to my life.

Long story short - I am beginning to understand keeping things to myself or thinking twice about who I share with.

[Readytobethin@51]

I too am coming to that decision - I've shared with my brother and sister and partner and 1 coworker that I trust...and at some point will have to tell my boss. I don't want to, because it's a very private thing...but getting the time off work requires sharing that tidbit . My brother was glad - he said he has been worried about me for awhile. My sister, oddly enough, was lukewarm about the idea. I was alittle hurt, but didn't push it. My coworker immediately offered to come help me post op (and that's why she's a bestie...). My partner? He says he supports me and that my health is important. However, he also says he thinks it can be done without surgery - with discipline and support. Sooo...I'm alittle worried about how this might affect us in the long run. But bottom line - this is for me - to get me healthy and hopefully add some years to my life.

Long story short - I am beginning to understand keeping things to myself or thinking twice about who I share with.

Good for you Erin!!! :-)