So I wasn't telling and neither did my friend!!!

[Kelli D]

So I went into my office to get it ready for Monday the dreaded first day of school. That's all good and now I am shopping at TJ Maxx for
some clothes that will fit. I get a phone call from my daughter who teaches at the high school that I work at and she tells me that a friend of mine has gotten the sleeve over the summer and is telling everyone about it now. LOL If I had known about our little secrets we could have supported each other!! Oh well I totally understand the secrecy of this surgery. But here is my dilemma.........I didn't want to let people know about the surgery and I know I will talk with her about it. I can't omit this from her since we are friends. The questions is
will people think I am ridiculous for keeping it to myself when she is telling everyone? I am sure that the truth will eventually get out there because I will be losing weight right along with her and they know what she did so I know someone will ask me. Why can't I just have some privacy with this one! Should I just get over the privacy and let people know or keep it to myself?

[Khartt]

Kelli,
You need to do what is right for you. If you want to keep this to yourself do so. If anyone asks just say you found something that works for you. If people press then tell them you are under a doctors supervision and leave it at that.

K

[vickybeads]

Hmmm - to tell or not to tell that is the question....and only you can answer it. When someone tells me how great I look and how much weight I've lost, the next question is usually "how did you do it?" and I tell them. Mostly because I've been at the same company and around the same people for about 10 years and they've seen me on the roller coaster. I'm proud of my accomplishment and if someone asks me, I tell them.

There are those here who prefer not to tell people, for whatever reason. It's up to you.

[lighterlori'slovelylife]

If they ask say "I eat less and move more" - that's the truth! Plus you don't want to get into some kind of SWL competition right?

[Matthewsiv]

You could tell a half truth and say that you had a hernia operation and have to be on a very careful diet.

I understand you wanting your privacy and I have one question for you.

Did that friend tell you about her operation ?

If not ,I would not tell her.

Just be happy and keep on the program.

[Kelli D]

If they ask say "I eat less and move more" - that's the truth! Plus you don't want to get into some kind of SWL competition right?

That is part of it! I don't want people comparing us and I certainly don't even want a subversive competition between us. Yet, I would really like to talk with her about it because we could really support each other. I am not a wishy washy person and am viewed as a strong confident person but some things in life are just personal. I don't want her being viewed wrongly ( we would be losing similarly) because I am losing weight as people would perceive from eating right and exercise and her because of wls (their perceptions). I am afraid she would get rude comments or judgements and that wouldn't be fair to her when I did the same thing as her. We all know wls is not the easy way out and I don't want her slighted because I am not talking. Dang it!!

[katente]

I tell people that I am on a low carb diet. Watching what I eat and moving more. I don't care what they think I will never admit to having surgery never. They can guest at what they think. I say if they are going to talk they will not get facts from me. But you do what you think is right for you is what you should do.

[Kelli D]

You could tell a half truth and say that you had a hernia operation and have to be on a very careful diet.

I understand you wanting your privacy and I have one question for you.

Did that friend tell you about her operation ?

If not ,I would not tell her.

Just be happy and keep on the program.

No she didn't tell me and I didn't tell her either. Two close friends at work know........Maybe I should talk with them about it and see what they say.

[abcd1234]

Hi Kelli! What a dilemma! I bet if you talk to her and explain your thoughts she'll respect them and you can still be supportive of each other. Since she's been in the exact same process, she's going to understand. Good luck and can't wait to hear more about it! BTW, how is her progress compared to ours?

Karen

[Kelli D]

Hi Kelli! What a dilemma! I bet if you talk to her and explain your thoughts she'll respect them and you can still be supportive of each other. Since she's been in the exact same process, she's going to understand. Good luck and can't wait to hear more about it! BTW, how is her progress compared to ours?

Karen

I don't know I haven't talked to her yet! This is crazy!!

[LtWeight]

I have also told 2 people at work, a close co-worker and my supervisor. The other two in my office gossip and I'm not really wanting to give them any ammunition. I don't think I'll ever tell them, although one of them would be a very good candidate for WLS and we have even discussed it before. She attended a Lap band seminar and didn't like what she heard so I think she is not even entertaining the ideal any longer. I'm sure they will still talk but at this point I'd prefer to keep my privacy. I know they have been asking questions during my absence from work and I don't look forward to talking to them when I return. I think I'll stick with, "I was under a doctor's care and I'd rather not discuss it." Maybe that will work for now.

[CoComom]

I was not going to tell because of the stigma associated with any weight loss surgery. I have changed my mind. Most seem supportive and I am sure some are and will talk behind my back, I don't really care. It took me a long time to make this decision and I made it for me. I would much rather have them talking about me because I am losing the weight than have them talking about me because of how big I am.

[Town976]

Just my two cents. She still hasn't told you. Your daughter told you. Is she really that close a friend? If you don't want to tell her, don't. You don't owe her anything. This is your time to focus on you! If there comes a time when you feel that it is appropriate and necessary to tell her, then do it. But don't feel that you need to say anything to anyone just because she did.

[pack89]

This is such a personal issue. In the beginning I didn't want anyone to know. I was ashamed that I was big enough for surgery. Now, I really don't care. People will talk either way, so at least if they know and talk, there might be a smidgen of truth to some of it. As far as your friend, maybe at the beginning she wanted it kept a secret too, since she didn't tell you. Now that she's told a few people, maybe she's more comfortable with people knowing. If that's the case, I'm sure she'd understand your reluctance to be open about it as of yet. Only you will know if this would become a competition between the 2 of you, if it does, maybe you can keep it to exercise and spur each other on, or exercise together. I think it would be great to have a sleeve buddy, hope it works out for you.

[Nel]

The greatest dilemma of all...I told the gossip mongers at work that I am seeing a doctor for a thyroid issue...let them pass that around! This way, no one questions me. No one needs to know my business but me, and the people in my "inner circle!"