On the fence...

[LinaC.]

Hi all,
I am new to the forum. I am on the fence about the surgery at the moment and need to decide in the next 2 days if I am to go forward with the sleeve.
I am presently weighing in at 289lbs! I am at my heaviest ever and completely frustrated, angry and disappointed with myself. To make matters worse, my husband is not supportive at all and still thinks that dieting and exercise will be my savior. It feels like no matter what I do, it's never enough. I have completely given up! I need this but am feeling like this is cheating in some way.
I would really like to hear from anyone facing or has dealt with this.
Wishing for sound advice.

[dackn8tr]

Welcome! You've found a great place to get advice from people who've been through it and can help you!! Diet and exercise will play a huge part in this process with or without the surgery. No matter what people say this is NOT the "easy way out", I struggled with that a lot before surgery but now (1 year out) i can honestly tell you that we still have to move our butts, change our habits and choose the right foods to make this a lasting change but it's easier when your stomach's the size of a banana and your hunger levels are reduced!! When i was doing my research on the surgery i read somewhere that we have an 85% chance of keeping it off with this surgery and (if i remember correctly) a 10-15% chance of keeping it off without surgery - for me that was the linchpin in the whole deal! Read, ask questions and follow your heart, that's all you can do. Good luck!!

[lindmar]

My advice is to consider this as a way of regaining your health & extending your life! I felt guilty at first...like something was wrong with me for NOT being able to overcome this problem in my life. I had all sorts of health issues starting to crop up like diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, etc. You look a lot younger than me, but they start to catch up to us overweight folks as time rolls on. So now I look at my sleeve as something that is helping me save my life & figure I've added years to it already (am down 50 pounds at this point). Not only that, but I feel SO much better & have recently gotten back into playing tennis!

Another thing I heard from Dr. Oz...he said that being 50 and 100 pounds overweight is like having a solid cancer. My sister died in December of cancer, so that really hit home to me. Dr. Oz said he is all for the sleeve as a way of conquering!!! Good luck whatever you decide & DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

[Bilby]

I don't think you can make such an important decision in two days a change in diet and exercise is still going to be needed after surgery.
Think about all the reasons you were deciding to go ahead and all of those against. Good luck with YOUR decisions.

[DebbieD]

I had my surgery 15 days ago and as scary as it was I am SOOOO... glad I did it. Like a lot of folks here I have tried diet and exercise most of my life and been successful to a point. I have lost 80+ lbs. at least three times in my life plus all the other loses and gains. The first time was in my not so smart 20's and starved myself and ran- kept it off pretty good for about 5 yrs. The 2 nd time was the Phen-Fen thing. Lucky I didn't have any side effects. Stopped and that weight came back. Then the Atkins, HCG.... I almost decided to give it one more real good try but losing 100+ lbs at 58 yrs of age.... I decided not to waste one more minute struggling with my weight. We seldom avoid medical Intervention for other health issues. They call our condition MORBID OBESITY! Why does there seem to be such stigma with this one. I have already lost 28 lbs. The surgery itself was so much easier than I could have ever expected. No pain, very mild nausea a couple of times, no gas pain, NO HUNGER! I don't think I have seen one post on here where someone said they regretted the surgery and believe me I have LIVED ON HERE the last 5 weeks. Has it been easy...No, but not terrible either. If I have to drink one more protein shake I think I'll scream. : ) Thank God just a few more days until I can start having real food! This site has a wealth of information - use it. Once I REALLY made the commitment and booked my flight ( had my surgery in Mexico) such a sense of peace and excitement came over me. Best decision I ever made! The best of luck to you!

[raphaelsmuse]

I'm pretty new too, and I am getting a tentative surgery date tomorrow with luck. I have felt the same way - especially with pressure from my sister, who I'm extremely close to. I'm also on the younger end - 28 - but I feel like a lot of the stuff others have said makes sense. There's no way I'm going to lose weight and keep it off, being 100+ lbs overweight. I want to lose the weight to be healthier. I don't have any co-morbidities yet, but I do have problems creeping up, and family history issues to worry about that being obese will only exacerbate. So I consider this as reactive and preventative. I'm determined to have it, and while I still second guess myself, I know that it's something that is right for myself.

[Char75]

Unfortunately only YOU can make this decison. It is life changing and irreversable. I have not been sleeved yet, I'm in the beginning processes but I know in my heart, this is the right decision for me. I've tried losing weight on every fad diet out there with no luck over the past 10 years. Yes, I've lost 15-20 lbs but that's not significant enough to improve my overall health. I came to the realization that I need help. I can't do this on my own. I realize surgery isn't a fix, the sleeve is a tool. It's going to take hard work to lose the weight but even more determination to keep it off. It is such a personal decision and after reading thousands of posts on this forum and doing my own research, every story is different. Some have pain, some don't...some lose quickly, some don't...everyone is different.

My recommendation is to research and think about what is best for YOU. Don't rush this decision. You will have to live with the sleeve...no one else. I wish you the best of luck!!

[LinaC.]

Hi Bilby,
I've been struggling with this for close to a year and I am down to the wire. I have already eliminated processed foods, refined sugars(as much as I can), white flour and no longer eat every time and I am hungry (which is always, LOL). Exercise has become very difficult as I am having problems with my knees. The weight is just making exercise the more difficult. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sorry just venting. I guess it really is the fear of the unknown and the fear of having to do this on my own.
Thank you for your advice.

[LinaC.]

Hi Char75, You are absolutely right on all points. I guess in my case, I feel like I am going against my family. I have always been the one who sets a goal and accomplishes it but this has been the one thing that I have failed miserably at and they just don"t understand my need for this.
Thank you so very much for your words of wisdom.

[mhardester62]

my husband too used to preach that and he has seen me lose and gain weight, I educated him, showed him photos read him posts and MADE him listen took him to the surgeon but mainly I researched it and educated him along with myself and he is now my biggest cheerleader, good luck

[LinaC.]

Hi DebbieD, I've always been able to loose the 10-20lbs here and there but always gained it back plus more. I know in my heart that this will save me. I do realize that everything in my life will change. I guess I need to come to grips that I will have to do this on my own and that I should stop feeling disappointed that I do not have the support I want from the people around me.
I am happy to hear your surgery went well and look forward to reading about your progress.

[LinaC.]

You are fortunate to have a husband that is open minded and obviously cares for you. I could throw a brick at my husbands head and it would bounce back like a beach ball. He is just plain hard headed and doesn't see the obvious. Ask your hubby if he can send a few digital cheers over my way! LOL
Thank you and good luck on your new journey.

[LinaC.]

Hi Raphaelsmuse, We share a very similar path and history. I am 41 but have dealt with weight problems all my life and the health problems are at my door step. This is really why I am considering going this route.
I wish you luck and hope to read your posts after surgery.

[RoDean]

Lina, I am very sorry that you are having some doubt and not getting the support you need from your husband and your family. All I can say is we are here, and we will support you in anyway we can. I have 60 days until my surgery and I made my decision and joined this group in January. I have read so many stories, most good, some scary, but I have learned from each of them and with every success I read about on this forum my conviction that I am doing the right thing grows stronger. I am taking a very good friend of mine, a very non judgmental friend who I know will support me in anything I do. I am also taking my husband, because I told him I would do it without him (I wasn't asking his permission) but I would prefer to do it with him, it was his decision. He is coming with me, not so much to be supportive, but to make sure bad things don't happen to me and RaSena in Mexico. I think he is still
fully against the surgery and is only pretending to be onboard. I hope his outlook changes as the months go on.

[Mikamom]

Hello!! I must say that your story sounds very similar to mine. My husband believes that I am negatively altering my body by having this surgery. The surgery goes against everything he stands for (after all he is a bodybuilder and has never really dealt with obesity). My husband is also slightly controlling, but will never admit it. He was and is still against me having this surgery, but I must say that the only thing that has kind of helped him to change his perspective is when we sat down together, had a discussion and looked at some of the success stories of people who had the gastric sleeve procedure. He saw how happy people were after having the surgery and how depressed I was becoming because of my weight gain. My husband told me that even though he does not agree with the procedure he wants to be in the recovery room with me. Although this is not 100% support, it is a baby step. Try looking at sites together with your husband and heartfully express why you want to change your life for the better with this procedure. Hopefully he'll understand a little. I too struggled with making this decision because I always want my husband and I to be on the same accord, but I've realized that he is not living my life and this is one time that I have to make an important decision on my own.