I'm so depressed. Help me VETS :(!!!

[SKgirl27]

So I have been extremely emotionally depressed the last few days. What was I thinking? That me -a person with a history of depression and anxiety- would be able to cruise through this emotional after surgery process like nothing? I hate to call this the "buyers remorse" stage but maybe it is. I feel so ISOLATED can't enjoy a meal with my family, can't enjoy food out with friends. The worst of it is that I have only told a few people and I feel like I am going this alone. My boyfriends family all gets together for dinner every Sunday night (like everyone, uncles, aunts, friends, it's like Christmas dinner.. A little overwhelming) I have NOT attended this Sunday dinner for like 8 weeks now and I am pretty sure they think I hate them and I'm avoiding them. (I have not told many of them and I don't think that I need too) however...How am I going to explain the fact that I can only eat half an egg??? Will I ever be able to eat a meal with a little bit of meat and a little veggies ever again? Honestly I'm feeling really down and if there are any VETS out there that can shine a light for me it would be really appreciated. If you have went through this.. How did you get over this stage?

PLEASE NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS. I really can't handle them right now.

[Lea]

Give it time....I too had buyers remorse.....you will be able to eat more as the months go by...take advantage of the first year while your stomach is so small.....the weight will melt off and you will eat reasonable amounts of food.....I am 9 weeks out and can eat 1egg plus an egg white....

[Erin78]

I felt that way too. Now only 3 months out I don't feel like that at all. Somedays suck. But I keep thinking how far I've come. Food is nothing compared to feeling healthy! You will be able to eat again. When you ate eating with your family just eat slowly. I've had to explain thing to waitresses before since they think I don't like the food lol but it does get better!

[lisa2job]

For me telling set me free !!! I tell everyone that I spend any type of time with colleges, friends , relatives and no one has had a bad comment to say, at least not to my face!! they see my weight loss and how committed I am to loosing this , . Now it is still is hard to go out and eat with friends when I can only eat 1/4 of a burger or or a taco... sometimes I think wow I sure would love a 2nd piece of chicken , but I barely ate the first piece then I look at my clothes and see the size I am now from a 26 to a 16 in 7 months not too shabby and 96 lbs gone forever. ohhhhhh something that I was taught was instead of saying I cant have something I take one tablespoon and put it on my plate,. I use a baby spoon to eat with and that makes that one spoon full about 4 bites or more, I then take 3 bites of meat and one bite of "other" three bites of meat and repeat. I dont feel deprived and I can still enjoy my favorite things just in way smaller quantities. most times now I eat my meat first and I dont need to have "other" but sometimes it feels good that I can. and with some of my friends its a running joke now we take bets on whether the waiter / waitress is going to ask if the food was ok since I cant eat but a few bites. ha ha ha girl it does get better hang in there

[NewMe_KCB]

Skgirl, you have made the first committment of confessing. This process was not and ever intended to be taken lighty or easy, if we are all truthful about it, many of us go through the same/similir circumstance.

Please understand that you are not in this alone and you will overcome. I noticed that you are less than a month out, and I am only 3 days, so you must understand where I am now in my progress.

Last night, my husband brought an entire dozen of doughnuts homes along with chicken strips and fries for saturday night dinner; Krispy Kreme is my favotrite and I felt left out, ignored and tempted. I asked why did he do that on my first day home, he stated he did that for our girls because they have done so well in cleaning house and keeping things in order while I was down in post op.

At this time, i still feel disconnected, but 1 out of my 3 daughters have not left my side. I hope that yoiu have confided in one person that you truly trust and can help you mentally and emotiionally through this down time.

As another Sleever advised me, get a good book, induldge in activites that does not include thinking about food or being isolated. I drove (hush, dont tell no one), LOL - i drove up to Wal-mart and purchased some books that I can indulge in to read while I am around the house doing nothing.

Please stay connected. I find this site very resourceful and would not trade it for nothing in the world. I am one that has kept my surgery on the hush, because those in my work life will not be supportive or too fund of me having this surgery w/o giving negative thoughts. If this makes it better, my biological mother did not know until it was all done and over with and I was en route home.

Skgirl, please feel free to contact me at anytime. I know how important it is to go through this with someone who you can relate too. I will inbox you and invite yoiu as a friend. We will make it Lady, together.

Stay strong, prayerful and positive.

[ms2tweet]

My first 2 weeks were the hardest as far as I was grieving food. I never thought it would happen to me but it did. I was so shocked and surprised when I figured out why I was depressed. Once I figured it out I was able to move on. You know I still attend social events but I spend more time catching up than eating. I will have some meat and fruit but only a couple of bites. It will get easier.

[lindmar]

Hey there SK! I've used this trick in social situations including at restaurants & with family. I tell people I'm under a doctor's care & need to stick to a strict eating plan. People bend over backwards to accommodate me...maybe because they think I will drop dead if I have one unauthorized bite You can still socialize. Just bring your own string cheese or diet jello or something. I think getting back to socializing might help you out of your funk. And let your boyfriends fam know you love them & stayed away because you are trying to get your health situation under control.

[LisaI]

I can't tell you what to do...only my own experience.

I told any one and everyone that would listen. i announced it on my facebook page even. I LOVE to eat out and still do. it is just that now, i make that meal last me all day or most of the next day...whatever. I cook for my family or enjoy family dinners so much, i eat a bite of this and a bite of that and im done, but i ENJOY the time with them.

I wish you could relax and enjoy it to...no need at all to isolate yourself. The sleeve can set you free...not imprison you. It frees us to stop when we are full, it frees us to not gorge ourselves on empty calories and truly it is severe morbid obesity (which i was) that is isolating. How many things did you have to miss because of obesity? there is NOTHING you have to miss...including family dinners...now.

[Enfury8me]

Been there to girl!! At first I wondered the same thing. I can now eat anything I want just in smaller amounts. Tomorrow is mine and hubbys 25th wedding anniversary and we were taken out to eat tonight at a fancy restaurant by friends and I ate a little salad, a little lasagna and a little brownie pie. I was completely full and had good conversation while they drank their wine. You to will be able to enjoy food again. Just give it time. I am 5 months out and I have been enjoying food for some time now. Promise!

[Texgal]

Girl I think we all felt that way. I tell everyone because I like for them to notice my hard work. If you don't they say things like why u not eating. Well once they know I don't get asked that. I have lost 96 pounds you can do this. It takes time. Yes u will be able to eat more eventually. I prefer the eating less so it keeps me on track. Any questions I'm here

[Karenricha]

I have not been sleeved yet...but when visiting the nutritionist I have really been able to take a good look at myself. I am addicted to food. I notice when I cook that I try this and try that. I will have a cookie here or a bite of something else. I too have confided in my boyfriend about my feelings. I do not know how I am going to manage without being able to eat carbs or a bite of something sweet...especially chocolate.
He said to me...Karen - you will eventually be able to eat everything...it will just take time to get there. Remember your tummy will be so much smaller that once you eat your protein and some veggies - you will feel full and what you crave now you may not crave in the future and if you do - your tummy is so small that you won't be able to consume much of it anyways. I had to agree. My surgery is 3 weeks out and I am trying to get myself into some kind of schedule of protein shakes and low fat foods so I feel like I am in control.
But I totally understand your pain. This site is great. So many positive people to help you out. I wish you the very best.

[babypom]

Im just shy of three weeks out, and I know your frustration, especially in the beginning. I hated feeling miserable, not being able to even drink water, and my husband and daughter were doing chinese take out. My husbands sister and her family do the weekly dinner thing where we are expected to attend. Admittedly I told them up front what I was planning on doing, and told them I would resume family dinners sometime this summer. Still my sister in law is Lebonese, and if you have any idea about their dinners, you know I have already had the fight about my current diet. Lots of rice, lots of pita, huge meat dishes all with wheat or some other grains, and desserts are devided into two sets, the sweet cakes and baklava section, served three at a time and then the fruit plates after that. Heck family dinners is where 30 of these pounds came from. I am working hard at making this sleeve work, and I expect my family to at least support me when I am around. I told my sister in law, I will bring food with me, in case I cannot eat what she is serving. (this was a complete insult to her) but after I explained, she understood, and is not giving me any more problems. If they loved you before the surgery, they will love you now, even if they dont know about the surgery. Just tell them your getting your health back on track, and they will support you even if you just sit and eat jello during dinner. Its the time together that matters, not what you are or are not eating.

[sherry1969]

SKgirl, you had your surgery jus 4 days before I did. I feel your emotional pain. I have had my heart on my sleeve for the past two weeks. I spent $310 bucks on a psychiatrist prior to surgery and he did not mention the emotional upset. I asked my doctor at the two week check and he said, yes, very normal. I cry at the drop of a hat, movies, babies, you name it. I will be "doula" for my daughter having her third baby Tuesday morning and am stressed out about holding up emotionally to support her. I do not really feel food deprived because it causes so much pain and I have vomited trying to get pureed down. Sure I look forward to the day I can have just a little of what everyone else is having but not needing it now. Someone on here wrote, "eat to live, not live to eat" I found it very profound and adopted it as my new moto. Hope this helps and I hope I was not too negative, we will survive.