Is he too young?

[kpr]

Since I've started researching the VSG for myself, my son has become interested in the surgery as well. He has tried many of the same diets that I have and has failed along with me. He is 16 with a BMI of 42. My insurance won't pay until he's 18, and he's hoping to have the surgery the month he turns 18, which would be around Christmas break of his senior year of high school. I've found very little research on VSG in teens, but I did find a video done by a young woman who had the surgery at 12 or 13. Do any of you know of anyone personally who has had the surgery at a young age? What are your thoughts, as far as the risks are concerned? Or things we should consider that apply to a younger VSG patient?

Here's what I don't want:
I don't want anyone critisizing me or my son for considering this. GENETICS are his main problem, and he got them from ME. We don't buy snacks or sweets for our house, we don't buy soft drinks....it's water or Crystal light all the way. He has been active in sports for his whole life, but had ACL repair last year, and has put on weight since then, though he was already overweight before his knee injury. We are considering this as an option because we want him to begin his journey as an adult with a HEALTHY start. We won't go through with it without research and input from reliable medical sources.

Thanks for any constructive input!

[Truebody]

Got to say that I think 16 is too young. Putting aside all the things you mentioned in your post I really thing that much of a 16 year olds make up both physical and emotional/mental has some way to go to get close to any measure of maturity.
Certain that a paediatrician may well be able to,offer more scientific detail to support what is essentially my instinctive reaction.

[gemini*eyes]

I have seen a 12 year get this done and also an 18 year old.. id say the hardest part for his age is getting him to realize he cany eat at mcdonalds like his friends and so forth.. Id be really scared he would try to eat too much.. Too soon.. He needs a lesson on nutrition .. This may be his ticket to a youthful life with sports in his furture and exercise.. Definately see the drs at the Bariatric clinics around you.. Get opinions..good luck!

[aclabombard13]

I, personally, don't see anything wrong with it. I am a mother of two young girls and if either of them struggled with their weight as teens, I wouldn't only consider it... I'd probably encourage it. I know what it's like to struggle to lose only to gain more than you lost in the end year after year. I don't want that for my kids. Especially dealing with being overweight as a young adult. I feel sad that I "wasted" my 20s being fat. When you're obese, you're all too willing to sit on the sidelines and not really live your life to the fullest. There are members on here that have had their surgery at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 and I have seen positive results. I tried to lose weight throughout my 20's without success obviously. The younger you are when you undergo this surgery, the easier time your body will have bouncing back. I envy those who have this available at a younger age. I am so much happier now and wish I could have done it 10 years ago. However, I do feel blessed that I was able to do this while my children are young so that I can set a positive example for them and instill healthy eating and exercising habits so that they can hopefully avoid becoming overweight. I think that he will feel so much better walking across the stage to receive his diploma a healthier, more confident young man, and especially starting college. He doesn't have to share his surgery with others if he doesn't want to. You can't live your life in fear of what others might think. Trust me, being overweight already has us being judged, so what the hell is the difference? You do what you need to do and just support your son in what he wants to do.

[qjwestover]

Very well said Angela. He's your child you do whats best. We all know the struggle of being over weight I was little in my teens.I feel embarrassed every day in my 30 I couldn't image how it would feel like as a teen.

[Scg]

I've just had the surgery almost 6 weeks ago and am now 22. It's still early in the process for me, but I'm wishing I had done this earlier. Like your son, I grew up playing sports: just about anything with a ball, and was always athletic despite being Overweight. When I fractured my ankle freshman year of high school, I stopped working so hard on athletics, got unhappy, and kept putting on weight because I found myself eating the same or worse, and not moving like I used to. Nobody in my family is small, as both of my parents struggled with weight all their lives, and it wasn't until my mother had a bypass early 2012 that I seriously thought about any weight loss surgery. My dr. Had suggested it to me when I was in college, but I kept thinking "I'll do it myself, I don't need it." I would work hard, drop some weight, then when life got in the way, I'd gain back what I lost plus more. I feel like I didn't get as much out of college as i could have because of my size, and sincerely wish that I would have dealt with my eating issues earlier by getting surgery.

Having said that, like you read from others here, it's not easy. Only my parents know that I had the surgery because I didn't want to deal with explaining to people that I couldn't do it on my own, because people do look at it as a cop-out. Its not, and Not everyone does, but many do. It's hard now going with people and seeing friends order a pizza, or when my brothers pig out on whatever is in the house (I spent the first couple weeks home recovering), but ask focus big picture, being down from 440 to 365 in a little over two months time, I feel more able to deal with my weight issues now than ever before. At 16 it will be really tough, I know I gained a lot of weight from 16-18 because I worked and had a car, and turned a couple dollar sandwiches from McDonald's or jack in the box into a daily snack after school. Everyone is different and deals with things differently, by in my eyes, I believe I could have spared myself a lot of time and hard work by getting this surgery done 4-5 years go.

If you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer with my experience as best as I can.

[azladyrider]

Personally I think unless he has tried everything else and I mean EVERYTHING - eating right and working out then no it isn't a good idea. I recently saw a mother who is taking her 14 year old girl to have it done and honestly I think that borders on child abuse but that's me. At the very least poor parenting skills. Who is in charge of the food in that house? I realize at nearly 18 your situation is different so that's not aimed at you - a 17 year old can make his own food, most 14 year olds don't. 17 can go to McDonalds and fast food places on their own and make that poor choice, most 14 year olds aren't that mobile. My granddaughters went to visit their father one summer and when they came back they were quite frankly fat - they sat in front of the video games and TV all summer instead of out running around like they did when they were at their moms house. I didn't pick on them but I did make an effort to spend more time with them and get them up and moving. They lost it all in time and now they are grown with children of their own and have no weight issues. I know some of it is genetics and I am just as guilty as the next person - my mother fed me pizza and chips and horrible crap for dinner out of convenience when I was young and I did lose the weight after I got out of the house at age 17 - then I gained then lost til I finally got to the menopausal old lady part of my life lol and said enough is enough. A 14 year old is having a decision made for her (and this little girl was "chubby" not obese at all) but a 17 year old can make his own decision. Wait til he's 18 and tell him it's up to him.

[Lucy61]

Personally I wish I could have had this done earlier in my life - due to my genetics I have struggled too. The best advice is talk to the surgeon, ask what needs to be done at his age for preperation - mostly mentally to get ready for this change. The coordinator at my surgeon's office - her son had the sleeve done when he was 18 and he is now 24 and feels the sleeve gave him the chance to be a healthy young man instead of sturggling with his weight, she was even bragging about some award he got for a race he ran If that doesn't say something I don't know what does.

You may try having the suregon write a letter asking the insurance reconsider the age limit due to his age and current BMI (and any co-morbidities - sleep apnea, cholesterol, gerd etc)... they may under appeal consider it.

Good Luck!!!

[Letizia81]

I saw videos from Dr. Alvarez from 2 girls 12 that had surgery

[LealScott]

I have always struggled with weight as has two of my three sisters. We also all have thyroid problems. Here are two stories of young people in my family that also struggled with weight.

My son was always the hefty kid. His string bean brother was like he came from a different family. I thought Nick was headed down the same path as me until he discovered two things; weights and the paleo diet. He had always done sports but was still a big kid. Then he found weights and
The pounds started coming off. Then he started cutting out all white foods, going heavy on protein, cutting out carbs and sugar and he is now 6'5" and maybe 215. He became certified as a Crossfit trainer and he is so healthy and happy.

My niece struggled too. Her mom, my younger sister, had bypass about 6 years ago and has only gained back maybe 5 pounds. She looks amazing. Her daughter had bypass at 19 after years of hearing,"you have such a pretty face if only...." She lost very easily, worked out, and came within 10 pounds if her goal weight and then she went to college. Natalie started partying like her friends and discovered drinking. Yes, underage but it's college. With drinking comes pizza and snacks. And then there's cafeteria food. She graduated heavier than before she had the surgery. Two years later she is trying to get serious about losing again but pretty much all the benefits of her surgery are gone and she is really having to work harder than ever before to lose anything.

She had a great time in college but I personally do not think she was ready. Her doctor required no education at all. Big mistake.

For what it's worth I'd make my child go through a six month program like I did do he could learn about nutrition and other factors that play into weight loss. Then I'd make him work to earn half of whatever it cost be it Mexico or his co pay. I think if he has some skin in the game he might be more likely to work harder and to make the lifestyle changes needed to keep it off when all his friends want to party.

Everyone us different. I can see what education did for my son. He really learned about the human body and beat the weight thing that way. But as he gets busy with a career and family and has less time it will be harder and harder.

No tight or wrong answers, just stories. You know your don and what is best. Just make sure he has solid knowledge on his dude. Thankfully he has your support.

[Socaldixiegal]

I think much depends on the maturity of the child/young adult. Peer pressure is so hard at that age not only being overweight, but like others said, the pressure to eat/hangout/drink, etc. I wish looking back I didn't have to be an overweight teen & young adult. But, at the same time I wouldn't have had the discipline then to live the lifestyle required of WLS.

[kpr]

Thanks, guys, for sharing your stories and thoughts with me.

"I think that he will feel so much better walking across the stage to receive his diploma a healthier, more confident young man, and especially starting college. He doesn't have to share his surgery with others if he doesn't want to." ---------Angela, this is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I didn't ask him about having the surgery, HE asked ME. He attended the seminar with me when I first started exploring the subject, and he asks me about the research I'm doing on it, the meetings I've had with nutritionists, ect...

I'll reiterate that he is 16 NOW, but wants the surger when he turns 18....I think some of you might have missed that. My insurance won't pay for it until he's 18. However, someone mentioned writing a letter to the insurance company...I've heard of this being done, and I may talk to my doctor about his thoughts on the subject. If he thinks my son is a candidate for the VSG sooner than 18, then we'll see where that goes.

Ultimately, this is his decision. However, I will support it. I want a better life for him than hiding behind hoodies and never going swimming. I want him to go to college feeling confident and healthy. A new chapter in his life. Fortunately, we live in a very rural area, and it's about a 50 mile drive to a McDonalds or any other fast food, so I believe that he can stick to the diet, especially considering that his mother will have first hand knowledge about how to support a healthy post-op diet. Also, when he DOES go to college, he will be about 9 months post op. He is very active in the church, plays music for services, and plans to go to a Christian college (though he hasn't seen the tuition rates yet, good LORD it's expensive). Hopefully, the drinking phase is something he will skip, though I expect some experimentation. This is something we will have to reiterate to him, for sure, and I think education is the key. If anybody else has insight into this, I continue to welcome your input.

Thanks again, everyone.

[pack89]

In high school, I wasn't over weight, even though I thought I was. However, I had several friends that were severely over-weight in high school. I saw first hand the teasing and ridicule they faced. It was rough. So I completely understand where your son is coming from!!

With that being said...there is hope that by you having this surgery and if you change the way you fix meals, he may be able to lose some of that weight on his own. If not, be sure to inform and educate him about what you are going through. Let him read this forum or any info you get from your dr. The best thing you can do for him is to educate him about all aspects of what this surgery entails, and after seeing what you go through for the next 2 years, I would think he'd be prepared to make his own decision, as at 18, he will be an adult.

I also agree that he should try to lose over the next 2 years, but considering his genetics, his success at maintenance would probably be like the rest of us. For insurance, I'm sure he'll have to have the 6 months supervision with a NUT and a psych eval. Either way, the dr would also be the major deciding factor here. If they all agree, and he's ready to make the commitment, I say do it. Why suffer for years and years needlessly?

[marilynlw]

Well I weighed 240 when I graduated from high school and was always the biggest girl in school and heavier than all but a couple of the boys. I know it is very hard dealing with the peer pressure and abuse at that age. I am now 64 and if I had known then what I know now and the VSG had been available I would have done it at 18 or sooner. My thought is that he should wait until just after graduation from high school so he would have all summer to adjust to the new lifestyle and learn to eat and drink again. Christmas break is to short of a time period to recover and get back to the routine of school. But if he waited until after school he could still get a great start for college. I would definitely have your surgery done now and let him see all the changes that come with it. Start working on getting him on a healthy diet and lifestyle now so the adjustment wont be so great for him later. But I totally get what you are saying about genetics.

[judy79]

My son is 14 with a weight problem. He has recently lost 20 pounds cause I threaten him with WLS lol. I'm thinking at 16 I will see where he is,a nd 18 he can make up his own mind. That way he will see what I went through and its his choice all the way! I'm hoping "like any mother" he won't need it though:/