Please I need help - very badly

[Maria1]

My name is Maria - I had the gastric sleeve on April 5 2012. Day of surgery I was 311 pounds. I have rocked the surgery until September 19 2012. Which was my lowest at 225. I am now 229 up to 231. On September 19 my best friend of 30 years died she was diagnosed with cancer and within six weeks she died. I have no motivation anymore. I need to lose more weight but I am stuck. I am so depressed and feel like a failure that I do no even want to go for a checkup. I was so on board and on track and now I feel so bad about myself and don't know where to turn. I know an 80 pound loss is wonderful but I feel fatter than ever. I am going back to basics but now that my stomach is healed I can eat a little more. I would do the surgery again in a minute. I have the tool. Trying to get my drive back. any advice or suggestions would be wonderful. Thank you

[fiona]

Pray to your friend for help.....and guidence..im sure she would want to see you do better and get back on track....good luck.

[Truffles]

Maybe try going back to basics? Try starting with the 5-day pouch test.

[sandiinmo]

Hi Maria. Maybe you are grieving for your friend? Perhaps talking to a pastor, counselor, etc., would help? Sometimes it's is more than just what we are eating. I have a dear, best friend that I've known my entire life, our mother's were best friends, too. I can't even imagine how I would feel if she were gone. Guilt that I was still here, depression, loneliness, etc. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, you will get back on track.

[vickybeads]

Maria - so sorry for your loss. What would your friend tell you? Would she want you to mourn her or celebrate her life? Ask her - you might be surprised as what happens. You can start with the 5 day pouch test (Surgical Weight Loss 5 Day Pouch Test) and move on from there.

All is not lost. Celebrate life, remember your friend and all you used to do and talk to her. You CAN make it through this.

[pieganjane]

What would your friend tell you to do? Now that she is gone you have to find the words of support she would say to you in yourself. I am sure she would not tell you to use her passing as a trigger to hurt yourself.

[Truebody]

Oh Maria, your poor luv, understandable that you are so sad. I'm sorry that you've lost your dear friend. It would seem you're grieving which is healthy, but you also seem to be punishing yourself in the process. Your head was a huge part of being overweight in the first place, so I think you would benefit from seeking psych counselling for the grief and the self sabotage. I also think talking to your friend in your prayers may be beneficial - you have started reaching out by talking to this forum, maybe take it up a notch with professional help, do a sleeve test and take some walks where you can get some fresh air and time to clear you head.
Talk to us here. This is a great bunch of people who are willing to lend support.
Hope to hear from you again soon.

[Dee Leshuz]

I recently lost someone and feel much the same, Maria. If I figure it out I'll let you know-it is REALLY tough going-I'm just not that motivated. Some days are better than others, but I'm nowhere near where I used to be in terms of enthusiasm.

[Jasmine]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! I agree that it sounds like you're still grieving and really might be experiencing some depression. I think it might be helpful to talk to your Dr., pastor, or counselor . . . . Take care & hugs!!

[fattycakes]

My name is Maria - I had the gastric sleeve on April 5 2012. Day of surgery I was 311 pounds. I have rocked the surgery until September 19 2012. Which was my lowest at 225. I am now 229 up to 231. On September 19 my best friend of 30 years died she was diagnosed with cancer and within six weeks she died. I have no motivation anymore. I need to lose more weight but I am stuck. I am so depressed and feel like a failure that I do no even want to go for a checkup. I was so on board and on track and now I feel so bad about myself and don't know where to turn. I know an 80 pound loss is wonderful but I feel fatter than ever. I am going back to basics but now that my stomach is healed I can eat a little more. I would do the surgery again in a minute. I have the tool. Trying to get my drive back. any advice or suggestions would be wonderful. Thank you

I have heard that if you go back to your straight liquid diet for a weekend it tightens your sleeve up again....either or would you consider taking the next step and converting your sleeve to the DS? Most people who have more than a 100 pounds to lose eventually have the switch down....just a thought

[ScarlettO]

BREATH each day, take it EASY on yourself. Remember you that each choice is a chance for success. Try not to think about all of what you want to do at once. Pick on step and do that, feel good in the step you have taken. Then move onto another step, step by step by step. Baby steps. Your grief is apparent and so understandable. Don't let it consume you. I agree with the others here to seek some sort of psyche help, counselor, pastor, something to talk out all that is in your head. I am in week 6 after surgery and struggle each day to make the right choices. So take yourself back to your beginning and step by step from there. Good luck, keep posting Your friend wants the best for you!!!

[marilynlw]

I am so depressed and feel like a failure that I do no even want to go for a checkup. I was so on board and on track and now I feel so bad about myself and don't know where to turn. I know an 80 pound loss is wonderful but I feel fatter than ever. I am going back to basics but now that my stomach is healed I can eat a little more. I would do the surgery again in a minute. I have the tool. Trying to get my drive back. any advice or suggestions would be wonderful. Thank you

If your doctor has a team he works with which includes a psychologist you should make yourself go in for a checkup. It would help you get your motivation back. Just explain to the doctor, psychologist and nutritionist what is going on in your life. I am sure they will understand and can help you. The loss of a loved one can sure put you in a tail spin. I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure your best friend would not want her passing to cause you any harm. Yes getting back to basics will definitely help, but you may need someone qualified to talk this thru with. All I can say is your friends here on the forum want only the best for you and know you are a strong person and can do this. I'm sure your special friend would have said that too.

[gemini*eyes]

just realize this is a hard time dont beat yourself up... you need to grieve.. take the time.. eat if you feel better.. give yourself three days of whatever in thisbworld makes you feel better.. then get back to the basics..!!! so sorry to hear of your loss.. cancer will get us all one day!!!

[Nani]

Sorry to hear what you going though honey must be so hard but she's in a better place and you'll meet again one day i agree with all the ppl saying go back to the basics i'll be praying for you hun God bless

[Iammyownidol]

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Losing your best friend is never easy. I've been there too. Maybe go see a counselor until you can get back on your feet and start with small goals to reach. I wish you the best.