It's almost 4:00 am and I can't sleep. Found a movie on TV. There is a beautiful tiny woman walking hand in hand with an Adonis of a man. He is wearing loose pajama bottoms and she is wearing the shirt. Its obiviously too big but she looks cute. I know it sounds silly that I have paid so much detail to this 30 seconds of the movie. The root of my attention here is envy. That has never been me or my life. I have always been heavier than my mate. My husband adores me thick and thin literally and that is a blessing-- truth is I outweigh him probably alway have the whole 17 years I have been with him. I don't want the sleeve to turn into the magical tiny girl in the movies I just want to feel normal!!!
My relationship with food is greater than any other I have ever had. I am going to the start of my 6 month visit today at my surgeons office. I am terrified to go. During the holidays me and my best friend food became close too damn close. I have gained 5 pounds. I am terrified my insurance company will deny me for surgery. I was not given a number to lose but told not to gain.
Please my forum community pray with me and for me the next few weeks to get my act together. Thanks in advance. Like in the movies I desperately want my happy ending but I need to get out of my own way to achieve it!
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