Has your personally changed since wls? Good or bad?

[lidibear]

I threw my back out this weekend putting my son in his car seat. A much pain as I was in, I'm happy it happened. It gave me a chance to spend the whole day with my mom. I have been in panic mode for a couple of weeks scared and having doubts about surgery. I feel so reassured after talking to her. She is so excited for me. The only concern she has is what if my personality changes. She is scared I will be a different person emotionally. She mentioned how often ppl ask about me and she doesn't want me to change. I brought it up to my hubby to when he came home and he said it was his biggest fear too. He said my size was never an issue for him but he doesn't know if he can handle me changing my personality, me being vain. He is scared ill take my self to seriously or might replace him for someone else. I absolutely love my husband but the statistics after surgery are against us. I made him promise that if he sees negative changes in me he has to let me know right away before they become habits. I promised that I will remember where he is coming from. My siblings have brought it up jokingly before. I never realized this is a concern they all have.

Has anyone gone through this? Have the changes in your body caused changes in you that might have run someone off? Has anyone caught it and able to keep their pre wls personality. I know that sometimes we are the last to notice when we are changing.

12 days to go before joining you guys on the other side!

[brianamato]

Great question!! Your personallity is just that "yours". Your Husband should be jealous because your hot now and will be hotter after the WLS - He will get over it, dont worry about him. I use to make a lof of 'fat' jokes when I weight 285lbs, but now that im smaller I can't get away with joking around anymore.

I had the same question run thru my head too - no your personallity will not change if it does it is because you want it to change. Good luck to you!!!

[Tex.man88]

I am not sure it is your personality has much has the people around you. It seems that people act different too you once you lose a lot of weight. You also get a lot more smiles and attention seems like.

[Tabby]

I know my personality hasn't changed that much. I am working on accepting compliments, that was so hard to do. Your mind-set changes though and some people around you may not like that. For example you may determined to never go to a certain place or have a certain food in the house because post surgery, you realize that it just wasn't good for your body.

I agree with the above posts, if you want to be different, this will be a catalyst for change, but the surgery itself won't change your personality. Good luck!

[Trustin Sleever]

I agree with brianamato. Your personality doesn't change per se, but your perspective might, and you may react differently in social situations.
Obesity can be pschologically restrictive in that obese people become so used to being marginalized that they have no idea what it feels like to be listened to and treated with respect (this was true for me). This can be quite a paradigm shift.
If you've been obese your whole life (like me) it may be tough to think outside that box; once you lose weight you may have a new outlook, and see alternates and possibilities that you didn't see before. Losing weight can be very psychologically liberating.

[suegirl]

The only personality change I have discovered is CONFIDENCE and that is never a bad thing... I find myself standing a little straighter, walking faster, and smiling more... Maybe they will think I am nicer :-) .... yeah, not a chance of that... I have NEVER been considered the nicest person so I am sure there were some that were hoping for a personality change hahahaha...

[Trustin Sleever]

The only personality change I have discovered is CONFIDENCE and that is never a bad thing... I find myself standing a little straighter, walking faster, and smiling more...

I agree. If you lose a significant amount of weight you may smile more. You may stand up for yourself if you feel slighted.

True story: After I lost over 100 lbs, a coworker, who had never spoken to me before, commented that my "whole personality had changed". I looked at that person and said "no, YOURS has." I had been saying "hello" or "good morning" to her for almost 4 years, and never once did she acknowledge me. MY personality had changed? HA!

[Soup-a-Woman]

I would say I became MORE of myself after WLS. I am much more confident now. I love myself.

I agree with TexMan who pointed out that you won't change as much as the people around you will. They will want to blame it on you changing, but it's really how they are reacting to the new you. Change isn't bad, you know. You can gain confidence without it taking away from someone else.

I just posted on another thread about a rough patch of jealousy that we weathered in our relationship (after 18 years of marriage!) after my WLS. I understood where he was coming from, and we got through it fine. But I would caution you not to let any insecurities your husband may have after you start to look and feel better be placed on "you" and your "changing personality."

[Sunflower]

Hmmm, let's see. Oh yes! I am happier, more confident, more comfortable in my own skin, I don't feel tired and sick all the time, I have more energy, and I feel attractive. Yes, my personality has changed, and thank goodness for that!

[5DogMa]

That's a loaded question. If you're TOTALLY honest with yourself you'll know if or how your personality is changing. Just know feeling good and confident about yourself changes a lot of things about the way you see life. Sometimes it opens your eyes to the person you are now vs the person you were then. Only you have the power to change your life and you decide if or what you change. Keep humble and appreciate the people who love you and support you no matter what size you are.

[niamh]

Not so far - I'm the same arsehole I've always been.

[leesooim]

I am just as cynical and acerbic as I always was, but now I can wear cuter outfits.

To be serious, the way I view myself hasn't caught up to the physical changes yet. Hell, I find myself thinking "I've only lost 83 pounds", which is SICK! I'VE LOST 83 POUNDS, THE WEIGHT OF OUR FRIEND'S 10 YR OLD DAUGHTER! I have to keep reminding myself that on the outside, I am NOT the person I was nearly a year ago. Perhaps when I can accept that and see it in the mirror instead of the old me, aspects of my personality will change as well.

[Grace]

I think it did for a while last year...but I was also going through a grieving process for my mother in law, who I was primary caregiver for during the 3.5 yrs prior, therefore it's hard to say what the impetus of the change was. I was pretty driven during the first part of the weight loss process. I knew it was my last chance and I became my own nutrition police. I don't think I've ever been so hard on myself as the 6 mo after surgery. It was exhausting. I was unhappy unless the scale was moving or I was shrinking. It was everything, my whole focus.
At one point my darling daughter asked me why I had surgery if I wasn't going to enjoy my life afterward, that I'd been much happier pre-surgery. I knew I'd been down but didn't know it showed. Started seeing my therapist and came to the conclusion it was a few things, a little ptsd at "Mom's" passing (with me alone at her side), some depression over where my life was headed, some over my body (to my mind) not looking as good now as it did when it was "fuller" and some or maybe most of it chemical due to a lifetime of feeding my chronic anxiety/depression with sugar/carbs and now not doing it anymore. I do know that the periods when I "slip" and eat carbs a few days in a row I feel like myself more than otherwise; and these days it's a serious mindtrip to decide whether to keep pushing to lose more weight and deal with the ensuing sadness or just stay where I am, eat more carbs and be happy. For the moment, I'm pushing to lose as much as possible by year end and then whereever I am I'm considering calling it quits and maintaining. Until then I'll try to reach my personal goal, because another part of the depression is that I've never missed a serious goal of mine in my life and I don't want this to be the first.
Sorry so long winded. Wanted you to know there are many reasons you may feel up or down or just different after surgery.
Be Well.

[niamh]

Thanks for posting this Grace. It's interesting because I am somewhat vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and certainly my first period of seriously putting on weight was due to comfort eating when I was going through a very difficult relationship in my late 20s. I've never been able to effectively turn off the comfort eating switch since then. I deal with my feelings very openly, not at all a suppressor and can tolerate very difficult situations both at work and in my personal life, but nevertheless carbs shift my emotional state and I expect this will always be a difficulty for me. My hope is that even if I continue to indulge in this occasionally, the much lower capacity of my stomach will be damage limitation.

[PKnorr]

I'm only 3 months out...I find myself to be more irritable than normal about some things, and laughing harder than I have in years. I guess I'm feeling more and not eating to not feel.

I still have such a long ways to go it gets overwhelming, and I'm fairly one track and selfish about doing what *I* want to right now. I don't have a husband to be concerned about, just my daughter, my friends are all great about being patient when I am crabby or when I'm just out of energy because of the calorie restrictions, when I'm done - that's just it, I'm done. I'm hoping that as the weight continues to come off I get more energy.