Paranoia, Stupid Fear & Venting on Random Issues. (LONG, be warned)

[Eshkeemo]

EDIT: Added summary at the bottom for tl;dr (too long;didn't read) purposes.

So I'm going to a WLS Seminar on the 21st.

It is required as the first step in this particular hospital's process for WLS. I don't mind. Maybe I will learn something I don't know. The purpose they do this for is to make sure you understand all the types of surgeries and the associated risks and benefits.

That's great. I have no problem with that.

I read though that there are only 18 seats so you must register. I am already registered but kind of curious, if not paranoid. Why? Well, I've been lurking around here and posting every now and then and I realize that we are all pretty unique people.

My kind-of-irrational-pseudo-problem is that I am pretty young. 18 actually. Is that to say I haven't tried to fix my weight through diet and exercise? HECK NO! Trust me. I know these procedures are not an excuse to say "oh I just won't be hungry and I will eat less so I won't really have to exercise." No way, I get that I will be exercising. No problem. I am just worried that maybe people will look at me funny thinking I should wait and see of there is anything else that I can do about the problem. I know every year, despite my efforts, the scale never fails to raise 10 or 20 pounds. I am sitting at 240 pounds and 5 ft 6 in. I am a BMI of 38.7. If I wait, I will hit 40 eventually and that wouldn't make me happy. I see this tool as both an aid to my current situation and a preventative measure for how big I could end up getting. So I know I have asked this once here somewhere. Is age an issue?

Now to vent about my life as a fat kid through a still fat new adult. I'll make it as short as I can.

Alright. So if I remember correctly, and how could I possibly forget all the years of being made fun of right, I have always been the fat kid. It didnt help that I grew up with a bunch of skinny boys in my neighborhood either. It was hard to keep up with them if we were riding bikes or playIng tag or something. At that time I was in elementary school. Involved in Gymnastics and Soccer. Boy, you probably don't know how embarrassing it is to be the fat kid in a leotard (maybe you do). I eventually quit gymnastics because I couldn't make friends. During the days in gym where we ran a half mile or full i was always the kid who was last or second to last but still threw up at the end. So then I still kept playing soccer. I could never be forward. I was always mid-field or defensive wing. I played defense like a boss! I still love soccer to this day, but I really can't run like that anymore. It's awfully painful on my chest. Back then though by the end of my elementary years if I recall correctly I was probably 140 pounds give or take a little --just a guess. I played soccer from grades 2-7. 5 years. It was great. We came in first every year. So by 8th grade my extracurricular focus is turning into academic focus with all of the advanced classes and what not. I am still going outside and riding bikes and stuff, just not as often I guess. I had seen the doctor and at this point I was like 180 pounds. He told me I needed to diet so I did. I lost some, gained some, stalled, lost, gained all back. It sucked. I haven't really seen him but maybe one more time since but if he were to scold me again, I might cry which is embarrassing but when I feel humiliated that's what I do. Always have. Anyway, all the way up to this point I was made fun of. Academics were the only thing I had going for me. I made a few semi-close friends then. The summer after 8th grade I did Marching Band. We are one of the top marching bands around here so we do some pretty rough practices. There is conditioning and basics week before you actually start marching for real or even think about bringing your instrument out. That means crap tons of running, more laps for you if you walk or talk back, and it gets better but it's rough all season long. About 7 hours of marching a day on average, excluding the weekend if the director thinks we don't need another extra practice. Band camp is even worse haha! Nothing like the stories you've heard. Wake up at 6 am, breakfast, march until 12, lunch, march until 6pm, dinner, march until 10 or 11 pm, sleep, repeat. Not to mention we have to walk up this incredibly steep and broad road on a hill for 20 minutes to get to dinner! It sounds like I'm complaining but the season gets better. During marching band season, you live for the games and competitions. That's what you do it for and I guess I just want to make it clear that it's not as cake and funtime as walking in a straight line in step. It takes a lot. It was hard on me. I remember losing weight my first year. Then all the other years I stayed the same or gained weight. I have no idea, don't ask me how! Maybe it was water cause I would be drinking tons of it daily! Who knows.

By sophomore year I was 210. I'm at the end of my senior year now and I am 240 pounds. I have tried to keep active and watch what I eat but I am on the loser's bench, and I don't mean the good one. ):

Sorry, that was actually really really long but I had a lot to explain and vent out. I was told by my friend just recently that I should just stop eating and exercise more. I told her I have done that but I need some more help, an aid or tool. I said it's harder than she thinks and she told me "no it's not! You would know of you tried!" and I asked her of she had ever been overweight like me... Then she said no but she did have a little tummy. Ugh.. It's hard to explain for some people. It isn't like I have been living a sedentary life style all my life. I have been pretty active. Something else needs to happen.

Based on some of my life details, do you think I am I heading in the right direction? I think the sleeve can help me become more healthy and make better choices. I am not THAT stubborn, okay? Haha. I will do what needs to be done both pre and post op. I have my mother at the very least to support me. My dad is being kind of minimally supportive but he's just as big if not bigger than me and I've seen him go full force on the elliptical! He went so hard that one of there staff members came over to make sure he wasn't giving himself a heart attack. He lost a little weight, but has gained it all back. I can see it is hard for him too. I think maybe he is just worried about risks for me though.

I want to be skinny! I want a boyfriend! I have never had a real-life physical boyfriend! If there is one girl in this school who is used to wanting what she can't have, it's me! I want to be healthy and feel healthy! I want guys to think I'm sexy! This is just one of the perks I think I will be enjoying after WLS. Not my primary reasoning for wanting it, but still a good reason.


Anyway, sorry. This looks like a book you're reading here. I hope someone is brave enough to read through all and respond haha. I just wanted to justify my reasoning. Is it good enough?



Thanks.


SUMMARY:I'm going to a WLS Seminar where my potential surgeon will be giving out information and there will be people who have already had the surgery to give feedback. There are 18 seats and I am worried that I will get funny looks because I am young (18 years). I am border-line candidate at 240 lbs and 5ft 6in. I have been the fat kid for my entire life, even though I was really pretty active. I have tried dieting and exercise. I have never had too many friends and I have never had a real-life physical boyfriend. I want to be healthy and look good. I do have some family support for this. I believe this surgery can aid me in becoming more healthy, and I believe that it can act as a preventative measure to combat me gaining even more weight. Do you think I am too young for this?

[CraftyKelly73]

Wether or not you are a good candidate for the surgery will be up to your surgeons and maybe a psychiatrist. I have been where you are; I really feel for you. I wish I had this option when I was your age. Just find out as much as you can and don't give up. I wish you all the best.

[Eshkeemo]

Wether or not you are a good candidate for the surgery will be up to your surgeons and maybe a psychiatrist. I have been where you are; I really feel for you. I wish I had this option when I was your age. Just find out as much as you can and don't give up. I wish you all the best.

Thanks for reading. I'm glad you can relate.

My issue isn't whether or not I get to do it. I understand I am border-line candidate. I will need to have some blood work done and perhaps I will be able to follow through. If I don't get approved, then oh well. I can wait a few years I guess, maybe try dieting and exercise yet again. Ill go crazy, maybe actually finish Shaun T's Insanity this time. It really is crazy exercise. Ill try, but by all means if I end up gaining even more weight then it just feels like a slap in the face. Everything for nothing.

Everyone here in my last post about my age told me they wish they had done it earlier too!

But yeah I guess I could always keep trying if I get rejected. Or maybe we can work something out with them and have them see if it really is that hard to lose for me, and then they can decide. I don't know. I'm just trying to be positive. I won't be devastated if I get rejected. I can always try again at a later time.

I will never give up. Thank you for your best wishes. :]

[John3697]

I don't think you'll be rejected. Your history alone should get you through the approval process. Some of us have been heavy all our lives. Others got into bad habits early in our adulthood and painted ourselves into a corner from which there was no return. Once your stomach expands to the size of a football, there's just no hope of losing weight by eating 3 ounces per meal and drinking liquid protein without alot of pain. My advice to you is to go for it. You'll be much happier once your start the process. Yes, you'll go through some emotional changes both prior to and after surgery, but the end result will be something you will be thrilled with. Good luck.....

[Eshkeemo]

I don't think you'll be rejected. Your history alone should get you through the approval process. Some of us have been heavy all our lives. Others got into bad habits early in our adulthood and painted ourselves into a corner from which there was no return. Once your stomach expands to the size of a football, there's just no hope of losing weight by eating 3 ounces per meal and drinking liquid protein without alot of pain. My advice to you is to go for it. You'll be much happier once your start the process. Yes, you'll go through some emotional changes both prior to and after surgery, but the end result will be something you will be thrilled with. Good luck.....

Thanks for giving me the reassurance I need. I believe the surgeon will OK me since they require women to be 80+ pounds overweight and I am over that, but it is the insurance that I am unsure of. We have Anthem. They require 35+ BMI and 2+ co-morbidities OR 40+ BMI. I heard a woman got rejected because she was less than 5 pounds under the required weight. Thats tough! I hope thats not me.

It is true that some of us just set ourselves up for this, and I am not perfect either. As I got bigger, I just felt like I would never be able to lose on my own and I would just carelessly eat huge portions of food and they werent healthy choices either. I know it didn't really help the situation, but I was resigned on the issue and just kind of stubbornly indifferent sometimes for the past year or so. Not all the time, but a fair bit.

Since I have heard of this surgery and because I am considering it, I feel like my standards have already raised for myself. I feel guilty eating fast foods the times that we do. Can't imagine how I'd feel after surgery. Probably guilty for just LOOKING at a piece of pizza, given I am at the period where I can actually eat it. Totally liking the recipe section we have here though. It looks like it would be really useful for healthy alternatives to cravings.

Like I said though, I won't give up! Thanks for responding. It means a lot. :P

[ladyberg]

I hear your pain as I read through your post. You and your doctor need to make the decision on what is best for your health. We are here to listen as you go through this journey and know that you are not alone. Best of luck to you.

[Eshkeemo]

I hear your pain as I read through your post. You and your doctor need to make the decision on what is best for your health. We are here to listen as you go through this journey and know that you are not alone. Best of luck to you.

One of many, right? I'm glad this place is here and full of people like you guys. You guys are awesome. <3 <3 <3

Also glad my iPhone can message me when other people reply! Wouldn't want to ignore any of you after having made you read such a long essay. [:


I'm feeling better about this again.

[John3697]

More good news. You said you had Anthem. According to the insurance lady in my Dr's office, Anthem is one of the easiest to get approval from. Other plans require a 6 month strict diet before they will even talk of approval. Not so, at least for me and many others with Anthem. I was approved in 6 days. I had a BMI of 41.6 with 2 co-morbidities, sleep apnea and bad knees. Drive on, and if you get rejected, keep trying. Sooner or later they've got to approve you or bear the expense of the co-morbidities that will surely come as you get heavier and heavier.

[Eshkeemo]

Loving that news! I think we have Blue Cross.
For insurance, I am only worried I will not meet comorbidity requirement. I need 2 I guess. Maybe 1 since I'm so close to 40 anyway.

All other worries? Just about seeing my family doctor since I haven't seen him in a few years. Hoping he wont react too harshly to the suggestion.


You're right though. They will give in sooner or later. Especially if they look at my mom and dad's current conditions. My mom has HBP and by dad has High Cholesterol + Sleep Apnea. The apnea isn't diagnosed though, but I can see it when he sleeps... he'll make your head turn because he gasps for air or coughs. He doesn't care enough to get it checked out though I guess.

Didn't know Anthem was easy though. Thanks for letting me know. That eases me a bit more.

[jerzeygirl]

I was an overweight kid, adolescent, and thinner than I've ever been in my life; and I'm 62 years old. I can totally relate to you and totally agree that the surgery, if appropriate, would be great for you. In fact, the only regret I have at this point is not having it sooner. I was active in school, popular with everyone, but always wanted to have a boyfriend; not just a "friend who was a boy". I have an outgoing personality and friends were never a problem. I was involved in activities, etc., but something was always missing. I later realized it was, a good self esteem about my body. I think this prevented me from going farther in my studies, social life, and heaven knows; I could have been the first woman president All joking aside, you have to want this for yourself because it's a lifestyle change, not just a means to getting thin (although you will get thin). You have to be emotionally prepared to go out w/friends who can eat burgers, fries, drink soda, and be prepared to eat just little bits when you're far enough post-surgery and in the beginning; you have to be prepared to relate to food differently. I think you're mature for your age, ovbious from your post which was both very descriptive and grammatically correct (I'm a former teacher. It would really help to have your parents' support or that of a close friend, however; this is for you and you alone. I think you will benefit from local support groups and in my local support group, there are younger folks who have had the surgery and are very happy; the youngest is 19. Just do all your research, go to local support groups, talk to your parents (hard, I know), be honest with yourself about wanting the change, and then "go for it". I think you're whole life will be different and for the positive. I'd love to hear about what decision you're making and if you could keep us posted, that would be awesome (I usually never use that word. We're here for you and if you would like to ask some personal questions, I'd love to answer them. Continued sucess going forward, and I'll be thinking of you.

[jodiel]

I'm going to start by saying, I was the fat kid too. I took dance but quit because I was the fat kid. I play softball but quit because I was the fat kid. I was picked on by my dad's side of the family because they were all skinny. Again, I was the fat kid. So I eventually quit going to my dad's for a long time. I was always picked last for all the teams because I was the fat kid. I don't know how much I weighed when I was your age because I didn't care at that point. I got married when I was 18 and had my first child by 20 and then really started packing on the pounds. Now at age 41, I have had the surgery and I'm confident that it will work.

Now....all that being said I will say this. I am one of those people that don't think surgeon's should be performing this on younger people. And by that, I do mean people your age. Although I do agree that there should be exceptions....for example, health problems, extreme obesity, and things like that. I have done a lot of research on people who have had this surgery. And the success rate of losing the weight and keeping it off at your age drastically reduces than if you look at people who are over 30. I personally think it has a lot to do with the commitment and also child bearing. I have personally known 15 people who have had weight loss surgery at a young age, have a baby, and then gain all the weight back plus more.

Especially with you being borderline candidate for this surgery I really think you should wait. You don't know if you will gain even more weight. And if you have this surgery now, you lose weight, you are doing great...and in 5 years you have gotten married and now you are pregnant with your first child. Now you have the problem of gaining the proper weight with the baby and losing the weight after the baby. I really urge you to wait. And I really don't think talking to you doctor about this is the answer. I would find others who have been in your shoes. And they are at least 10 years out. See if they would do it all over again.

[jerzeygirl]

I had to add something. Don't be afraid of the doctor or their reaction. There are lots of doctors, and you can always find another. I know it must a little hard to stand up to professionals (Dr.), but you're paying for the visit and it's your health, therefore; if the doc won't accomodate your desires; move on.

[Tosha]

My daughter age 25 had the surgery on March 29th 2011. She was never a small girl and always felt insecure due to her weight. I know some people may say your young but this can change the rest of your life. I am so proud of my daughter she is down 135lbs and has a brand new outlook on like.
As a mom I can only say I always wanted her to be happy with herself and her life. I however was no role model as I have had issues my whole life with weight. I recently had the surgery and It feels great to know it was my daughter who finally gave me the courage to change and not live the rest of my life over weight. I have asked myself so many times what was I waiting for??? courage.. well I thank my daughter for saying there can be a change and going after what she wanted. she is a true inspiration and gave me the hope I needed. I do not believe your too young.

[Eshkeemo]

I understand all of your comments! There is a lot to think about with all of this.

I will talk with both my doctor & the surgeon and we will determine what happens. I don't I'm going to be doing any talking them IN to it, but more so we will see if I am a good candidate or could become one in the near future for this procedure.

@jodiel, as much as I respect your honesty and advice I will continue with the process to see where it gets me. I understand you. I do want kids, so I see what you mean there but I feel like I should go with what I really want here. I'll remember your input and think to do it later if maybe I figure out this is not for me just yet.

@jerzeygirl, You know what? You're right. We've had the same doctor for a while and though I don't think he will immediately take to the idea, I know he will go straight to blood work. He wanted to do some bloodwork on me when I was in middle school. I refused though because I was afraid of needles due to a particularly bad experience. I could probably suck it up now.

@Tosha, thats sweet. I have always been pretty shy and insecure about my weight. I'm glad your daughter could be an inspiration to you. I am glad you are both happier now. Things like this make me more excited hehe.

[AmyTequilahouse]

I agree with you on the if you wait another year you will be 20-30 lbs heavier. I went through that too. I was fairly active growing up but once out of high school I gained so much weight it's ridiculous. I started at 180 through HS and ended up 250 at 21 and married. I never was able to get pregnant and I ended up divorced at 23 and almost 300 lbs. 7 years later I find myself at a Weight Loss Surgery Seminar weighing in at 393. Trust me, you need to do something now before you lose control of yourself. I'm happy to announce im down to 378 now and having surgery in two weeks.. I know what you are facing unless you get approved and have the surgery or start doing something about your eating habits and lifestyle. If you don't have it already.. I recommend you getting MyFitnessPal that APP really does work. Hugs from me to you. Good Luck