Dating redux

[sandyfromoz]

Glad you are back Sandy....we have missed you.....Tam

Me too Tammy. It's good to be back.HUGE HUGS FOR YOU xoxo

[gretchdb]

Love this thread! Lol. Yes I read all the sarcasm dripping from each line and enjoyed your honesty with a sense of humor. I actually have very short hair and get nothing but compliments on how young and sassy it makes me look. Make up and jewelry add to the look so it doesn't come off as dikey. I used to be very active and expect to once again after my surgery so having wash and go hair is a big plus!

I have been married 17 years so don't have to worry about the dating thing. But I do hope my husband notices me and notices other men noticing me so he will wake up and realize what a REAL prize I am and treat me accordingly!

[yuanyelss]

Not to hijack your guy conversation here, but I would have probably just sipped an ounce or two of the wine (my dietitian says I can), and mentioned that I wasn't eating the food other than the cheese because I was watching my weight...

[kitsonk]

Booth, you haven't told us what happened, did the plant ever call you back? When is your next date with the date palm? Please keep us up to date.

[Booth89e]

Suprisingly, I have not heard from the plant nor my date. I am becoming quite the social butterfly (not a masculine term). But I am realizing that this surgery, although it is working miracles for me, has some obstacles early on in the recovery part. I may need to rein in dating for a few more weeks. Here is a recent text message conversation I had with a woman I met recently:

Me: What are you wearing right now?....kidding...but seriously what are you wearing?

Her: (No response)

Her: (the next morning) Just saw this text. U make me laugh. I was wearing PJ's. Do u ask ur friends what they r wearing much

Me: I ONLY ask friends. Asking someone I was interested in would be wierd.

Her: Wierd? Looking forward to meeting your friends.

Her: Irish Festival in Dallas this weekend, could be fun, wanna go?

Me: I rolled my ankle at the driving range earlier this week, it is still difficult to walk on, I will see if I can rent a rascal or a scoot around otherwise you may need to carry me.

Her: sounded like fun.

Me: I know, and I had the perfect button to wear to it. " You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin" (save the comments, how often do you get to use that joke but once a year)

Her: Ur Silly

Me: A five year old is silly. I am a grown man so you should call me childish. I implore you to brand me correctly.

Her: I like a person who can be silly. Implore me??? Hmmmm. (what does that mean??)

Her: How about we go to dinner Saturday Night? (This is where I get caught jumping the recovery gun. Now what the frick am I suppose to do. I haven't responded yet)

[sandyfromoz]

Just tell her you have a date with your palm.......................tree
Oops! I know
In the naughty corner Sandy.

[kitsonk]

I'd be wary, she is still treating you like a five year old after you warned her and doesn't know what implore means. Both would be strikes in my book. But if she does carry you around the festival, then you might have a winner there.

Booth, by the way... I'm wearing a pair of faded jeans and a gray t-shirt. I know you were curious and thanks for asking.

[sandyfromoz]

Booth, by the way... I'm wearing a pair of faded jeans and a gray t-shirt. I know you were curious and thanks for asking.[/QUOTE]

Hee Hee, now Kitsonk in the naughty corner too!

[GoofySpice]

TOO FLIPPIN FUNNY!!!!
Sarcasm is unfortunately only for da smerter folks ..unless yous like em not smert
I wonder if we can make this the longest thread ever?

P.S. I am wearing mis-matched blue jammies. The bottoms are the fuzzy fanel type with an assortment of different coffee mugs on them

[Booth89e]

I am almost getting the hang of dating post-sleeve. The keyword here is almost. Had a date Friday night with the blonde I met last week at a party. Real cute, petite and a financial advisor for a large firm. We meet for drinks around 7 with plans to go see a movie. We go to a nice bar near the theater and my plan was to sit down and then go to the bar and get our drinks. Before I can ask her what she wants an over eager cocktail waitress comes over to take our order. My date orders a Makers Mark and soda (hardcore). I order a Grey Goose Greyhound(for you non-drinkers, hers was a bourbon, my little pretty feminine drink is a top shelf vodka with grapefruit juice). once the waitress goes to put in the order, I excuse myself and walked over to the waitress and I tell her to leave the alcohol out of my drink and just make it a grapefruit juice.

She looks at me like I am on an episode of To Catch a Predator, with me being the predator. I smile weakly and explain I just had stomach surgery and I can't have alcohol, my charm is failing me and she is asks me why I didn't just order juice when she took our order. Crap, my waitress thinks she is on an episode of CSI. So, I explain that I am on a first date and i didn't want it to be awkward that she was drinking and i wasn't. I am tempted at that point to pull my shirt up and show her my sutures, but I think that would just get me a whole new set of problems. I flash my pearly whites and I promise her i am telling the truth and promise to tip her well. She agrees reluctantly and gives me the impression she is going to watch me the whole night. Fine just give me the drinks and go on your way, Columbo.

I go back to the table and explain to my date that I changed the brand of vodka to Finlandia. ( great i am starting the relationship with lies). Anyway, the detective/waitress brings our drinks and does not return the smile I flashed her. (why didn't I just tell her I was the designated driver, duh).

So we sit there for an hour or so and she has drank three bourbons to my two grapefruit juices when we decided to head to the movie. We go to see The Adjustment Bureau (good movie, like Inception and it makes you ask some great questions). I ask her if she wants anything and she wants to share some popcorn. No problem, I buy popcorn and a couple of waters and we go in to grab some seats. My intention was to sit on the end of an aisle but we get seats near the middle of an aisle. And of course the theater is full.

We chat for a bit and i am holding the popcorn between us. Out of the blue(at least to me) she asks me why i don't like popcorn. I said I do I was just waiting for the movie to start. (why is it people notice when you aren't participating along with them?). So she says well don't think of trying to kiss me if i am the only one with popcorn breath. (gulp)

I take a handful and put it to my mouth, i can't fake it the lights haven't gone down yet, so I put a kernel in my mouth praying to God that I didnt take one with an unpopped seed in it that is going to shred my sleeve in half. I chew the heck out of that popcorn kernel so that i am swallowing basically 90% saliva 10% kernel.

Now I am waiting for it to hit my stomach and let the screaming in agony begin, but I seem to be safe. Shortly after my near death experience, the lights dimmed and the movie began. I occasionally take a small handful of popcorn but now it is dark so i can get rid of it. The first few times I pretend to put it in my mouth and then drop my hand down and let it fall on to the ground. I guess I angled too much to the person next to me because i was throwing it on top of her foot and she was wearing sandals, so i got a look from her. I changed my trajectory back toward me a bit, and that worked fine, until my date decided to move her feet toward me and crunched on a pile of popcorn. She leaned toward me and said are you drunk.

I said no why, and she said because you are spilling all of your popcorn. I just smiled stupidly and said I have an eating disorder and can't seem to find my mouth.

The movie ended and I wanted to get out of there before the lights came on. I stood up and looked like I just came from a parade with confetti. The popcorn fell off my lap and side of my chair where i stashed it. Thank goodness she didn't see but we walked out the direction that I threw the popcorn and you couldn't not here or feel the crunching with every step.(why do i make everything an ordeal).

We left, I took her back to her car, we kissed, I said the standard stuff about having a good time and I will call and then left. Overall a good date, but I need to change tactics about the drinking.

I did have a date tonight with the girl I texted with from before. I will post about that later and explain my encounter with Sashimi and Sake.

[MoreFitDiane]

Too funny Booth! How many weeks post surgery are you now? I do allow myself a little popcorn at the movies when I go with my husband...only one or two cups at the most and I do chew well and watch out for unpopped kernels, but I eat it and don't decorate the floor with it! My sleeve is just fine. I think I was at about 7 or 8 weeks post-op when I first tried it, and then I only had about two small handfuls.

[sandyfromoz]

"COOL" I loveeeeeeee popcorn.

[Booth89e]

[QUOTE=MoreFitDiane;8165]Too funny Booth! How many weeks post surgery are you now? QUOTE]

Today(Mon. March 7) is the beginning of my fifth week. I think my Dr. has one of the more conservative post-op diets I have heard so far.

Three weeks- Liquids Only (not even cream of whatever soup)
Two weeks- Blended Foods
Two weeks- start introducing Solid foods- very limited ones
Two weeks- Solid Foods- increased variety

Although I can never compare with your ability to measure and log your intake, I am a stickler to following the diet. (Outside of the rogue popcorn kernel).

I did go out Saturday on a date and went for Sushi, which I ordered my Sashimi Style. It took me over 1/2 an hour to eat four cuts of Toro Tuna, while my date polished off a wood boat of Eel, Salmon, and Crab, along with 2 Noga-Sake's (Egg Nog mixed with Sake-The Office reference).

I am putting together a list of places not to go to for a few more weeks on a date:

Bars, Restaurants, Movie Theaters, Strip Clubs (trust me and don't ask), Wine Bars, Bachelor(ette) parties, Wedding Receptions, Bar Mitzvahs, and Quinceaneras.

Places that are safe to go on a date for now are the following:

Parks, Standing in a Bank Line, Short Walks, Slow Bicycle Rides, Smoothie King, Any place that specializes in blended tuna salad served in 2 to 3 oz scoops.

[kitsonk]

I am putting together a list of places not to go to for a few more weeks on a date:

Bars, Restaurants, Movie Theaters, Strip Clubs (trust me and don't ask), Wine Bars, Bachelor(ette) parties, Wedding Receptions, Bar Mitzvahs, and Quinceaneras.

Places that are safe to go on a date for now are the following:

Parks, Standing in a Bank Line, Short Walks, Slow Bicycle Rides, Smoothie King, Any place that specializes in blended tuna salad served in 2 to 3 oz scoops.

Going on a date to a strip club. I am sure that is almost as entertaining of a read as the popcorn throwing incident. I would have thought you would be able to get away with almost anything at a Wedding Reception/Bar Mitzvah as long as it is buffet. At wedding receptions there are plenty of flower arrangements to hide food in.

Be careful about the Smoothie King, or at least rotate locations. If you frequent it too much then if you stop buy with a date, they will say "oh your usual sir?" and then your cred will go down, especially if they remark "oh is this your new gal?"

Also, one of the practicalities of dating post surgery is going to be clothes. It will get quite expensive keeping decent clothes that don't make you look like you are wearing a sack for a shirt and you borrowed someone else's trousers.

Instead of going to the movies, you could go to a theatre (even a community one or something) and that would take the popcorn out of the equation and make you look sophisticated and artsy.

Also, there are all sorts of lines you could stand in for a date, don't limit yourself to Bank lines. DMV? Local Homeless Shelter? You wouldn't want to eat the food there anyways. Local Court House? You could file random suits against cinemas that server popcorn and waitresses that look at you like some sort of date rapist. Welfare Office? You could wait until you get to the front with your date and just tell the gal behind the counter "psych, I got a job" and walk off.

[tls]

Let me just say "I AM SO GLAD I AM MARRIED!!!!"

I have been with my husband for 19 years and we have been married 15 years. I just don't think I could handle being single. I think I forget all the work that is involved with dating, impressing, etc...

Marriage takes work too, but I don't think it compares to being single!!! ugghhh!!!

Keep up the hard work. Hope you meet that special one very soon!!!