Confused Now

[cutie0615]

Hi Everyone,

I just had a few questions for you "Sleevers" I had my first consult yesterday with my Dr. regarding my decision to get the sleeve.

He said that this wasn't going to be a "walk in the park" and I have to be prepared for that. He also said that since I had the lap band (it was remove in 07 due to complications) that I would have scar tissue and that makes the surgery a little riskier.

This all SCARES the hell out of me and my family is desperately trying to talk me out of it. I am just so tired of being overweight and not living my life to the fullest. I know you all can relate. I would never just cut myself open for the hell of it, this reason alone is enough for me to do it.

Anyway, my second thing was when can you eat a regular meal? I understand the stomach is reduced drastically but will you ever be able to eat a sandwhich again. I mean at least 1/2 or 1/4 of a sandwhich?? I know the point of the surgery is not to eat like you do right now but I want to be able to go out occasionally and enjoy a little meal..nothing crazy. My mom seems to think my life will be over as I know it because I will be unable to EVER go out to eat a NORMAL meal. I argue with her because my NORMAL meals consist of a 7oz filet mignon with a loaded baked potato and probably 2-3 dinner rolls and some type of dessert. I don't know what NORMAL even looks like.

So, sorry to go on but I just wanted feedback about this LIFE changing decision as I am a little confused now if I should go through with this.

Thank you in advance for you knowledge and wisdom

[tammy73]

Hey there,
I had my surgery on November 8, 2010 and my fiance and myself still eat out. When we go out he generally orders an entree and we get an extra plate. I was concerned about what people would think when we did this but you would be surprised as to how supportive people are. I eat very small portions but I can eat just about everything so I never feel deprived. When I do order my own meal it sometimes lasts me for 3 meals depending on what it is. I know it is all very overwhelming right now but I would guess that most people on this site would say that having to give up the quantity of food that they ate previously is well worth the benefits of the surgery. For me the surgery was a walk in the park but it certainly isn't for everyone so talk to your doctor and make sure you understand all the risks and benefits of the surgery. Wishing you all the best

[Nana Renan]

Ummm....first off. BOO!!! to the doctor for being so ambivalant!!! Was he the one who put in and took out your band...? TRUST ME, if this surgery had been available in 07, you probably would've gotten it when they removed my band. (I was banded in 07 and revised to a sleeve last Thursday!)

And DOUBLE BOO to your family. Like won't be much different than after your band -- and should be WAY better. I don't know what your complications were, but you will be able to eat anything "normal" you want -- SIMPLY AT A REDUCED QUANTITY.

Unlike the band which can be fickle and block GOOD FOOD (if I ate two bites of salad at the start of a meal, forget about anything else ever going down!) and positivly skeezy about BAD food. (At no point with the band was I ever unable to eat an Ex-Large popcorn at the movies, usually by the time the credits were rolling!!!) Three bits of chicken -- done for the night. A whole basket of chips and salsa -- went right past.

Anyhow -- enough of MY life! ;-)

So WHAT if you order one taco and chat and visit and enjoy that while everyone else orders their grande platters with all the works. Is it about the food? Or the company...?
What are your family members afraid of?

My son and daughter-in-law were both banded after I was and have had some -- not all -- of the complications I had with it. I wouldn't hesitate to refer them to a sleeve TOMORROW if they wanted it.

[cutie0615]

Thank you for the reply Tammy I am definately leaning towards the surgery as I have been overweight my whole life and it has consumed me in everything that I do. Besides having High B/P and not being able to breathe & possibly having sleep apnea. I am just MISERABLE..but I am so HAPPY for your success. I love to see people doing well, especially in this area because it is so difficult. I will post my final decision after I do all the preliminary testing. I am still on the fence but all the feedback & opinions from "experienced" "sleevers certainly helps. Thank you & Congrats on your loss

[Nana Renan]

Hey there,
I had my surgery on November 8, 2010 and my fiance and myself still eat out. When we go out he generally orders an entree and we get an extra plate. I was concerned about what people would think when we did this but you would be surprised as to how supportive people are.

Tammy, my husband and I split meals when dining out for probably 10-12 years before I was banded. I see people who don't have weight issues do it all the time.

I read some where that the average resturant portioned is scaled for the most common resturant eater: a 35 y/o male who works manual labor. Makes sense because some of those plates have more calories on them than the rest of us need for a whole day!!

My first WLS surgery had a negative downside for my husband tho'....because we were used to splitting meals 50/50 and I went to eating maybe only 1/5 of the meal instead of 1/2....he continued cleaning the plate and he gained 20 lbs in the first six months I was banded!!! LOL

[lovinglife]

So glad to read the answers here. I just now posted a similar thread about what to do at dinner time. Good luck Cutie!

[cutie0615]

Thank you again everyone for your responses It HELPS a great deal knowing other people's experiences.

I wish you all the BEST and I am sure I will make the right decision with the help of all your input.

THANK YOU!!!!!!

[MoreFitDiane]

Family members probably feel threatened because they are afraid that you will be unhappy. Mothers, especially, who use special dishes and treats to show their love, will be sad that they cannot tempt you with lasagna or cakes. And yet, you will be able to dine with them and enjoy their company. And you will be able to eat whatever you want, only very small portions. And you will be able to eat at restaurants. If no one wants to share a meal, you can order an appetizer or a soup and ask to have it brought when everyone else gets their main course. The best thing you can do to change your relatives minds is be successful...and that's much easier when you have this tool. Best of luck to you!

[CGirard]

I choose the sleeve over the gastric bypass for the pure reason that I WOULD be able to continue a somewhat normal lifestyle, just at a much smaller portion. Yes, I understand that if I eat crap, even if it's a small amount of crap, I might need to work out a little harder. However, I have 2 small children, a VERY italian family, and some very fun hobbies that often involve food. The sleeve gave me the opportunity to still enjoy my life with my family. I'm VERY pleased with the results so far. I was sleeved Dec 29th, and have lost almost 40 lbs. I am back to normal foods now, and have eaten out, split meals, etc. I even went to a wedding last weekend that, of course, had a buffet. I skipped the salad and the bread rolls, took very small portions of what I wanted, and made sure I had more fish than anything else, but still had a few bites of pasta, carrots and potatoes. Also - if you focus on chewing slowly, and engaging in conversation while you eat, you can stretch out your smaller meal along wtih everyone's larger portions. If you have normally supportive family members that are really concerned about this, invite them to your computer to read some of these threads. I bet they will change their tune a little when they hear from other people going through the same thing! Good Luck with your decision!