I haven't been on in a while, but I wanted to share my current experience. I am down to 202 lbs from my original weight of 275 since my surgery in August 2016. I feel so much better and am able to work and get around.

However, last month I found a rather large lump in my right breast. I feel like it must have been there the whole time and I was not able to feel it under all of that weight. Now it seems that a whole new worry has come over me. I go in on the 5th to talk to a

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My in laws came into town and they sure love to eat! We have so much junk food at my house right now and staying away is harder than I thought. I have only eaten more than I should once since my surgery making me sick enough to want to vomit. I am slowly starting to be able to eat more and more so I have to be really careful not to get back on the high carb track. I am still eating mostly meats and cheese, but as soon as my family is on that plane...i am cleaning out the fridge.

I know it seems like I am just crying but I have to release some how and I feel like this is the only way. By writing it all down.

Today I feel betrayal in the worst way. I have struggled for years to spend time with my children. I have gone from a loser addicted to Meth and Cocaine to someone who has been clean for 15 years, 3 college degrees, my own business, and I have provided for all of my children and step children better than some parents who have never done some of the

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I thought that losing my weight would help me to feel better, but it seems the last few weeks I am worse than ever. I have always had depression off and on but this last few weeks have been the hardest for me. I am losing weight and I have been doing really good not to eat a bunch during my states of depression but I can't focus at work, I want to cry often, and all I really want to do is sleep. I have a friend that says she was depressed after surgery but I don't see how that can be my issue.

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So I broke my goals into 3 different sections and I met my first goal at 6 weeks out at 235 pounds. That is a 30 pound loss since the actual surgery date. I tend to go by surgery date because my biggest weight was at 300 pounds and I had lost 85 pounds on my own by hiking and lowering calorie intake, but once I got down to around 200 pounds i plateaued and then started to gain again. I remember when I was at 235 the first time around I felt great with myself...it is a different feeling this time

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