So..Hello. I've been stalking for several weeks, I suppose Now is a good time to make an introduction, and maybe get some perspective... I have a twin sister who's just recently found out her sleeve surgery is 100% covered. Zero out of pocket expenses. (She works in the medical field). We are the same weight, height. I lost about 80 pounds about 5 years ago with Phentermine. of course it creeped back on, except this time I'm at my biggest. for the past 2 years, I've been yo yo dieting, occasional gym-ing, and of course there's no results.
I'm frustrated, and feel like my sister is going to have this surgery, and I will be the fat twin.

My insurance doesn't cover it. I want to go to TJ, like all of you, and have Dr. Almanza do it. I can't do this anytime before August/September because, oh yeah, I'm getting married this summer! (and with that, paying my life away )

My twin seems indifferent/supportive? My fiance is AGAINST the surgery AND against Mexico. He wants to know why I cant just change my diet (which I have, btw-- 5 lbs down since JANUARY ughh).. so there it is. But, he did say he would not allow me to go alone (maybe he knows I'm going to do it anyway).

Anyone having it done that far off? How did you convince your loved ones its going to be OK?

I just did it and didnt tell anyone. I found out when I was there a lot of people just told one or two people or no one. I went by myself. 8 months out doing good. Michelle

I went in December and I have no regrets I would go again!!!!

The minute I decided to have the surgery (mine is scheduled for July 22) I called my best friend and asked her if she would go with me. She is my one friend who would never judge, just support, unwavering, no matter what. I knew I would still have to ask my husband to go, but I wanted a back up plan in-case he said no. Which, he did. I told him I wasn't asking, I gave him this choice...stop reading now if you are easily repulsed or if your eating..."you can go with me and support me in this surgery or you can wipe my ass for the rest of my life because i am getting too fat to wipe it myself...your choice, you decide". Needless to say he and my girlfriend are both going. He has looked at the website, we both talked to my physician here in town and he understands the why now much better than before. He is still not sure about the Mexico part, but when I explained to him the difference in cost, he was suddenly all for Mexico. We have been married for 12 years, and change is very hard for him. I think he will try to be supportive, but in the long run, I think he will fail. He usually does, but that is alright, I have my girlfriends for moral support. From him I need love and understanding and the ability to make his own meals for the first several months. I am excited and the more I talk about it the more comfortable he seems to become. I am more worried about sisters response??

I am too. Maybe she thinks i really won't do it. She did offer to go wiyh me.

Hey twinjenn! I recently went to Almanza. Valentine's day to be specific. I am 3wks and 1 day out. I lost 10lbs on the preop diet and 25lbs since surgery. If you want to read my blog I did a "review" if you will on what is was like there. My husband and my mother are the only ones that know I had it done, let alone where. I didn't tell my mother til AFTER it was TJ. I told her "soooooouthern california". My husband did and didn't go with me. He drove me to the SD airport, then stayed with friends in San Diego while I did my thing in TJ. He picked me up when I got to the airport after being done, and the rest is history. I think that you should not worry about what your sister seems to think. I mean in all reality she is obviously uncomfortable being her size (and you guys are the same height and size) so she KNOWS how you really feel inside. I only have 1 sibling, and she's only 7yrs old so I don't know much about sibling rivalry or anything haha. But what I can say is: You know what you have tried, you know what has worked, hasn't worked, and you know where you are at in your mind, heart, and body. My husband knew that I was going to do it with or without his support. (I'm just like that I guess) so he decided he ought to be supportive otherwise he would have just looked like a jerk :P He was iffy about me going to TJ, but he knew we were moving a week after I was scheduled with Almanza and I would have to start the process all over with another doctor, with different rules and new insurance (if it even covered by the new insurance we get) and he had seen how unhappy I was being morbidly obese.

I am down 35lbs total, and I know this is the tool I needed my entire life of being "the fat girl". I really feel that you can't calm anyone's nerves until you return home safely.

Do what is best for you girl!! Good luck on your journey.

Oh another thing that helped my husband was when I showed him things on this forum! I made several friends that I actually met up with in TJ (we all were either the same day or within a day of each other) I think that soothed his nerves a bit, too.

Thank all of your for sharing! Seriously-- It is very comforting. and StephF89- I'll read your review! Thank you all again for the kind words.

I had my parents talk to my fiance who was not even wanting to discuss this with me AT ALL! But there are ALL kinds of health concerns that run in my family and my parents were the ones that convinced me to go. My parents discussed the experiences they have seen in our family with him and it even caused them to not speak for a couple of hours (they are very close so it was hard for them to give each other the silent treatment). My fiance is a runner and is also 10 years younger than me so he doesnt understand how age and menepause plays into all the factors. My parents would never allow me to do anything that would harm me and they have had some plastic surgery done in Mexico also. I think Mexico just gets a bad rap. Of course I havent told anyone else I am going to Mexico bc I dont want to hear all the negative things. And by the way a friend of mine is having breast surgery here in Texas by one of the very best docs in the Houston area and when she tells people she is having surgery they start in on all the negative things they have heard. Anyway I hope he sees the health benefits that comes along with having this surgery and will support you no matter what as I am sure he loves you no matter what!

Has your sister scheduled her surgery yet?? Maybe she is upset that you wont have to do all the pre-surgery, acceptance things she will have to do in order to get it covered by her insurance. Is your surgery first, maybe there is a little jealousy there. That would be the why in my household, with my sister.

wow! I imagine that conversation must have been difficult. My fiance knows I'm going to do it whether he gives the greenlight or not, so I know he will come around. he may not jump for joy, (he just doesnt understand why people want/need WLS surgery -- he's thin and has been his whole life.) but he will keep his thoughts to himself. when it comes down to it, I'm the only one who understands my situation/body/heart/feelings about all of this. I know once it gets closer and I actually do go through with it this Aug/September, he will back me... I know you're right.

RoDean, she hasnt scheduled yet. her coordinator anticipates sometime in June after she's done with all her prequalifiers. (June is my wedding! HA!) I wont have mine till Aug-Sept. I think she was maybe wanting to have hers done for awhile to enjoy her own attention, ect. maybe. I dont know. it could just be that she's so obsessed with her own surgery and mine is just so far off its hard to imagine. its probably hard for her to imagine that im actually going to TJ. once she has the surgery, im sure she'll be on board, maybe she just needs me to back her right now.

My sis and I did it together last monday and yes our family was supportive but at the same time concerned. Therea nothing to worry about. There were 13 n my group we all have surgery the same day and there were 3 that had fam with them but they had to stay in the hotel all the time. They cant stay in the hosp w you or go to all thw appts they drive u too. The hotel is very safe the driver and nurses r awesome. Once u get there u gonna click with some one and u guys can share the room and u dont have to be by ur self. The wi fi is awesome at both the hotel n hosp and at the hosp u can make phone calls. Im back home already and just recuperating but everything is good. Just dont think about other is ur health and at the end of the day u r the only one that

What really made it easy for my family and husband to accept the location of my surgery was when they SAW pics and videos of the clinic AND the hotel. The people at the clinic and recovery house are some of the kindest caregivers I've ever met! They treat you like you are special....

Also, what sealed the deal was when we found out that Dr. Almanza himself had the sleeve done.... and he was so impressed with his results, he did the surgery on his wife a few months later!!!!!! The owner of the clinic, a very kind Jewish man, Mr. Betancourt, also had surgery 2 years ago. He lost 160 pounds!!!!! These people UNDERSTAND what you are going thru and how much you struggle with weight... and how much you WANT to be successful! TAKE YOUR LIQUID DIET SERIOUSLY PRE-OP.... THEY SURE DO! Hugs and best of luck! Also, with regard to people being supportive... don't worry! Everyone I told this to freaked out about the TJ part... and like someone else wrote, the only relief they'll get is when you return safe and sound...which you will! And remember - the popscicles WILL be your best friend those first few days!

awww, thanks ealicano and MsMoe for sharing your stories!!

MsMoe-- thats a very good point about the videos and and pictures. I'll definatly do that. I had no idea Dr. Almanza had the surgery himself! wow! and then did the surgery on his own wife??? thats awesome! I really, REALLY want to do this. I can't wait till I can go!!

Wouldn't it be funny if you could go have your surgery done in the next two weeks and totally beat her to the punch and already feel great for your wedding. I went from research to surgery in less than two weeks. I am one of those people who go after what I want and get it done.

Stop thinking of everyone else and think of yourself for once...that's what i did....was faced with the same situation you are now being faced with...You've just got to make the committment for yourself...good luck

You should do your surgery sooner than later, then your wedding photos would look nice, too, and you will lose weight before your sister does! Just kidding.

I am definatley supportive Jenn!! Just kind of sad we can't do it at the same time!! I can't wait until our trip.

There is great feedback from everyone about addressing support from hesitant loved ones. I went to TJ alone...however via this website I did link in with others having surgery on the same day and never really felt alone. TJ is a great option for those of us in the self-pay situation. I did not cry my surgery out from the highest rooftop and just told a few friends who would be supportive and not judgemential. Personally, I think it is very important to have your fiance's support. You do not need his permission, but he needs to be on board with the plan. This surgery will change your life and the way you feel about yourself and the world around you...all for the better of course. Congratulations on your decision to have surgery! PS....I have no regrets

TwinJess-- what an interesting screen name you chose!! haha. I love it. Thanks Jess I <3 you!

BethJane- I wish I could do it sooner. its about 90 days out at this point, (the wedding) and ALL of our money, and time off from work is going into this wedding. there just wont be enough of either until after the wedding.

and thanks Island Girl, rowdyrazorback, and imtad for the kind words/support!