getting sick, depressed...emotional stress
by
, 10-12-2011 at 08:06 AM (1754 Views)
i can't believe i'm having emotional discomfort...everybody seems to be supportive with the surgery and all i did is cry over stuffs...my boyfriend arrived in the hospital (i wasn't release yet coz my mom told the doctor that they should let me out the hospital when im no longer in pain and i don't feel nauseated anymore and i can tolerate eating the foods that i'm allowed to eat) when my boyfriend arrived in the hospital, i cried immediately and i told him that i can't do this anymore...all i felt was dizziness and vomiting isn't helping me. when i tried sipping and walking, i got dizzy, they told me to do it slowly...wow, i moved like a freakin' worm when i do stuffs so that i won't hurt myself you know the cuts and all...i hate that it'll bleed even if doesn't hurt anymore...i get nauseated when i take my meds...everything is about dizziness and vomiting lately...and i hated it...there comes to a point that almost told my boyfriend i regreted doing it and i just wanna die...i know depriving myself from food wasn't my rule...i love to eat...and i got sick because of eating too much now that i have this gastric bypass to help me loose weight and i'm regretting it! i suck all my life and i was so excited to have this surgery and now that im done with it, i'm kinda having this drama all of a sudden!!! FML! im thinking i might screw up my stomach, i might leak, i might won't loose weight...im having this crazy questions in my mind right now, what to do with this what to do with that? will be dizzy for the rest of my life because i did this? will i be vomiting after i eat? will i feel swollen for the rest of my life? im scared really, im kinda depressed with what's happening with me...is it because i stayed in the hospital for a week now? i hate being a drama queen but i can't help it...seeing them eat without feeling any pain makes me cry and feel bad about myself... i feel sorry for my boyfriend and my parents coz they have to go trough this...i just didn't know what to do...