Wow, I can identify and I agree with you 100%!! When is your surgery? Mine will (hopefully) be Aug 29th. Scary, yet necessary...

There is obviously a good reason for you to have pursued this surgery. You say you've basically been overweight since you were 16... so that makes 27 years. I would imagine in that time you've participated in your share of fad diets. The constant roller coaster/yo-yo way of living. And the truth is, it only gets harder as we get older. Statistics also say that 80% of obese people will never be able to reach and maintain a healthy weight. "Friends" worry about us but may not UNDERSTAND us. Understand, what we struggle with, how just being who we are makes us feel bad and how every time we fail at a diet, we feel like we are failing at life. They don't get the shame we feel when people stare or how insecure we are if people are whispering nearby. So I would say thanks for the advice, but I know what I need for me. I went through several moments of panic but finally realized that this was it, I needed to do this now and not waste another day hating what I had allowed myself to become. I think that my husband and I may have been headed to where you are with your ex. I was getting the whole "We're great friends, but I'm not sure I am in love with you anymore" speech. BUT I knew that my weight gain had a significant effect on my marriage, even though he didn't want to admit it. I knew I had do this now or risk losing the most important person in the world to me. The sleeve did save my marriage... we are really HAPPY. I can't even believe the change. And yes, like you I feared what it would be like to go out into the world as a single, morbidly obese mother of two. Who would want me? I know I could've found someone, and I know you can too, if that is what you want. But I already had the man I wanted for the rest of my life. You need to do what is best for you. Don't let anyone talk you out of making the decision that is going to give you your life back, give you the control. And you never know what might happen with your ex..... I mean if your heart is still there. Good luck and keep doing what you're doing. You need to make your own happiness, not try to please everyone else

I totally agree with aclabombard13. my sister was telling me not to do it. I know why she was saying that she is worried. I just told her she just doesn't understand. I've been over weight my entire life just about and I'm now having health problems because of it and she doesn't understand how hard it is to lose weight she has never really had a weight problem except maybe needing to 20 pounds. She has never had to lose weight the old fashioned way and lose weight then gain it back time after time after time. I just told her she just doesn't understand what it is like and how i feel and while appreciate her worrying about me she was not going to change my mind. That I was going to have the gastric sleeve no matter what she thought and if I could have it tomorrow I would. I think I finally got her to understand and now she supports me. So to the ones who say do it the "old fashioned way" been there done that and it doesn't work for me and a lot people just like me.

Funny thing is my ex is about 280lbs, but he's 6'1".... and it's all belly. But he's one of those that can sneeze and lose 5 lbs. He's an all or nothing kind of guy. He has no idea clue how much harder it is as a woman. I so agree with all of you. I don't think there is a chance we'll ever get back together.... weight or not, it just would be nice if he were supportive.

I totally agree with Aclabombard as well... I am where she was in her relationship and that is PART of the reason I've decided to get sleeved. The most important part, however, is doing it for myself. I, too, am a people pleaser and years of taking of everyone else instead of taking care of myself has gotten me to where I am. My significant other is marginally supportive, but in a rather disinterested kind of way. If it's meant to be, then my weight loss will only improve things for us. If it isn't, then my weight loss will still improve things for ME. If someone is truly your friend, they don't have to agree with your decision to support you in doing something that you think is best for you. A true friend will also never say "I told you so" if it doesn't turn out like you hope.

I too had tried the"old fashioned way" for many years and yo-yo dieted. Take this tool and let it work for you. It will be the best thing you have done for yourself. Love and good luck with your weight loss journey. xx

I think all of us know we can lose weight.... we've done it hundred's of times. But as overweight as I am, 10 or 25 lbs isn't going to change a lot, I get discouraged and give up. Thus the YO-YO diet. I've shot my metabolism to heck, and I'm not doing my body any good. This 'tool' has given me hope. I am doing this for me. If anyone can't or doesn't want to support me, that's their problem.

Very heartfelt message, thank you for sharing. The surg. is helping me lose the weight and most important will be a tool to assist in keeping the weight off. All the best in your journey.

The "Old Fashioned Way" may work for some people, but not all people!! I have had to deal with this from the "AWFUL MOTHERINLAW" My sister in law lost 50 on WW, and they think I can do that!! I tried yoyo diets for a long time!! This is my tool to help me!! Sometimes, inlaws, just need to stay across the fence on their side!! LOL!!!

As Dr. Phil always says: "how's that working out for ya?" I too tried for over 30 yrs of my adult life to get to and maintain my healthy goal weight and never made it. Thus, surgeryand my extreme happiness with the results. I now have my future before me healthier and happier. I can see myself loving life and living into my 90's like my dad. I couldn't see that before. The older we get the more difficult it become to not only drop the pounds but to keep the weight off. I firmly believe the sleeve, as the tool it is, gives us more than a fighting chance to be healthy and to finally say we're in a normal weight category and can stay there. Good luck to you. Don't doubt yourself and let people persuade you in your resolve. It takes alot more guts to do what you're doing than to stay on the beaten path you've been on.

I find it amazing that people say oh do it the old fashion way, hmmmm I wonder if they want to have babies the old fashion way, set a broken bone the old fashion way, have a tooth pulled or drilled ole fashion way, listen we live in the technology world where it might not be easy but we have a few things to assist us. Better today than the yester years, because some of us wouldn't be here if it wasn't for today's technology

Im going through this same thing, with my own mother and its sooooo annoying, she keeps trying to tell me "do it the old fashion way" every time I mention something about an appointment, like every time she mentions it, i guess she thinks maybe ill change my mind this time. But its seriously not working, my mind is made up. Im soon to be 30 on september the 6th, and its been a struggle for me since i was outta of high school and put on bp meds, now im on two! Even b4 then i was overweight for my age. Been through the WW, Nutri System, and other diets and all i do is gain the 30 i lost back and then some. She keeps tryin to tell me to do the WW again, u done it b4 look as J.Hudson, ummmm ok, she has money, which gets her trainers, and probably a nice ole chef too! Im not her!! Im not anyone else, Im too young to be feeling as so, and on all types of meds, and probably pushing to be diabetic. anywho, my first appointment is tomorrow yaaaaaaaay! had to share that.