My husband is almost the same way. He is not overweight and could eat a house and not gain a pound. Mostly because he is much more active than me but he doesn't seem to want me to lose weight. He says he loves me just the way I am and I will get too skinny. However, I want to be comfortable in my own body and I have had to explain to him it is not all about the way I look. Since I told him I wanted the surgery, he was been back and forth. I just did it. I explained to him that it was the only way to force him and my family to eat better. He does all the cooking and typically cooks for 50 when there is only 3 of us, then when he orders out, he orders more than he can eat and pushes for me or my son to finish it. So, again...I just explained to him I was going to do it with or without his support. I would love his support but I am tired of Yo-yoing and slipping off the path. It will be easier to keep the entire family on the correct path when one can't eat as much. My house is now filled with low carb foods and my husband is trying new ways to eat his foods because I cook separately for me and when he sees me eating he says it looks really good, so he starts eating off my plate. Right now I am on clear liquids so since I can't "eat" with him like I normally do, he doesn't make near as much. I guess what I am trying to say is you need to do this for you and sometimes it takes it to push the entire family into different eating habits. If he truly loves you he will support your decision no matter what you decide to do. Good luck!

Idk if it's the same as what you're going through. My husband is heavy and has sleep apnea, type II, high bp, and has been having shots in his eyes because of high pressure, all complications of him not taking care of himself. I guess I want to believe we could do it without surgery but that's why I put the question out there....I just don't know.

So are you wanting the surgery for you or him? Sounds like it would benefit him, but he needs to WANT to do it to be successful. All you can do for this kind of situation is arm yourself with all the knowledge of the procedure you can find and educate him. I still spend time trying to educate my stubborn husband with the information because he insists we should be able to eat everything he doesn't want. It is tough either way. I do wish you luck. If you need anything feel free to IM me.

I didn't tell my husband about the surgery. I told him I was going to spend the night at my daughters house, which worked for one night, but he figured it out on his own after the deed was done.

He was super supportive post op, and still is. I think my wt loss has encouraged him to eat better and less, too.

I knew he would whine about it if I told him beforehand, so I just went ahead and got 'er done without his knowledge.

Sounds like your whole family needs to change their eating habits. (I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be obese at 19.) I guess you have to do what you know is right for you. I can tell you my surgery changed my hubby's eating habits for the better, we're basically a 2 things for dinner family now, protein and veggies. It's great to try to change your bad habits, but did that ever work for you in the past? I know I spent my entire life trying to change my eating habits, and nothing worked except this surgery. Good luck with your decision, family support is so important. (My psychologist says he will deny surgery to patients who have no family support.)

Thanks ladies for the input. You're making me feel like I am on the right track and shouldn't let my hubby change my mind. I have been on a diet for basically 25 years and we always go back to our old ways and gain back more. I am going forward ��

You can still regain after surgery, too. And you'll still be "on a diet" after surgery, it'll just be easier to stick to it.

I disagree, you won't be "on a diet" after surgery. You'll be having a lifestyle change, but it's a breeze. Now after almost 3 years it's just become natural eating protein, then veggies. I don't even think about it.

Don't let your hubby change your mind, be the success story he and your daughter gets to see, get better info at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hf7KMEMA-Q

Best education series from Dr W on what the surgery really is about.

You have to what's best for you. My husband was not supportive of the surgery so I didn't have the support system. I did all appointments on my own. I did not hide the fact I was going to do it and in the end..The surgeon required his approval signature a week before surgery. He still wasn't on board but I basically told him to just sign it. I love my sleeve, have lost 51 pounds. I did it on my own and it was hard..very hard. But so worth it..I still have a long way to go. .only half way there. It has helped me feel alive again. He's happy with my changes..but will never say I'm glad you did this. As everyone should know "if mama isn't happy nobody is" Best of luck to you

I agree do whats best for you

I am doing it!!!! It's what's best for me and my husband. I told him I have no doubt at all that we could lose weight together, however I also know that the chances are pretty good we would just gain it back again like the last 20 years.

My husband and I had VSG on Oct 7th. I was at 7:30am and he was at 11:30am. While I am happy that we did it together , I realize that not everyone has that luxury. We made that decision after 30 years of dieting and regaining. When the pain in our knees, ankles, back and hips became so bad that it was impacting our mobility, it was time to look deep and hard at the future. Sure, we could each lose the 100+ lbs over 2-3 years (or more) while continuing to grind away at those painful joints. OR as our PCP said, get the surgery and be done with it. It won't be easy but it will increase your quality of life. Rapidly. So here we are. Neither of us really wanted to be the person sipping clear liquids watching the other eat things like burgers or steaks. My husband would have been impossible to live with, if I did not have the surgery with him. He is a creature comfort person and would have whined every time I ate anything.

Go with what is best for you. I agree with you the potential with "lose weight together" might not be a permanent answer, I did that before several times and regained it all plus more.

Bariatric surgery has developed newer and better techniques over the decades since it's inception and is much, much safer than it is has ever been. Too bad your husband won't join you, you two would be a great example for the rest of the family.