Than you for your post! Wonderful for you - you're a rock star!!

Hey Shalon - great to see your post! I know what you mean about loving the energy. I just spent some time with my 2 year old grandson and this time I could keep up with him, lift him up and play down on the floor with him too. What a joy to be able to participate more fully in the daily activities of being on this planet. Like you I walk more easily and with less pain now. Feeling this good is just plain wonderful!!

Wowza, what a great success!! Sounds like you are really enjoying life right now and you are an inspiration! Continued success to you!

thanks for sharing! you are doing sooo great! so happy for you loosing your cane!!

What a great story. Such an amazing success so far!! congrats and thank you for sharing!!!

Awesome! Keep up the good work:-)

Shalon, I'm so very happy for you! Thank you for sharing your great & inspirational story. I wish a whole series of GREAT things could happen for all of us like it's happening for you. I wish you a love-filled marriage! I hope I get another chance at love before it's all over. I hope you love your new house. Even though these are all happy occasions, change produces stress. Be gentle & loving with yourself. Don't have too many bride's maids because they cause drama. I wish you continued success.

My guess is that with all that newly-found energy, you will pick up that cane and practice a dance routine! You made me realize, yet again, I choose this journey with all of us.
Continued success every moment you discover what's next for you.

sounds like you are doing great, not using my cane as much either, but I have to start walking more to get out of my stall I think. Great work.

You are a SUCCESS!

What a gorgeous story. Thank you.

Update: I have a great pair of black boots that fit my calves now! And the depression has lifted, and I have SO much energy it's hard to find a way to tire myself out every day.

Thank you so much for the support. Still stalled, but my fiancee has helped with the depression and we're looking into Fostering. So many kids having such hard little lives. He says we'll have plenty of room in our house to make a few of their lives a little easier.

Don't give up!!!!! You are worth more then you think you are and even if you can not have a child, there may be a child that wants you as a mother.

Dear shalon,
i am so sorry for what you are going thru, i hope things get better god willing. please just take care of your health now make sure you see your surgeon and nutritionist to change your diet start exercising i agree with Froo72 water Aerobics are the best and there are classes in all the GYMs now included in your membership. Try the rush if you work somewhere where you can get a corporate discount or hunt for their promotion.
motherhood isn't about carrying a child to term . many women give birth but not all are mothers , there are so many unwanted children in this world , its sad go valanteer in child services you will see how many need a mother or a big sister figure you can be a foster parent . the purpose of our life is what we make it to be.
and you never know what god has for you in the future . many people were told no hope and god helped them thru it .
i would concentrate on making your surgery work for you. lose more weight and then go and get a second opinion about your spin issues.
may god be with you and help you thru your dark times

I can't help with the motherhood problems you are facing, but I do know that a good therapist can help you work through your sorrow. I resisted for years, but after a few sessions was glad I went. They can't make problems go away, but can give you some tools and some compassion, and sometimes just having someone listen and give you their full attention can ease some of the pain. Consider it.

Also, exercise can not only improve your mood, but can help budge the plateau. With back trouble you might consider something in the water. Aerobics, swimming, even just dog paddling can work up a sweat. An elliptical on the right setting is easy on the back too. Maybe some modified yoga or walking with good shoes and on dirt if it's accessable to you because it's easier on your spine than pavement. Walking poles are inexpensive and give you added support and added arm work.

It's so hard to keep your chin up, I know. Sometimes it seems like just when you think you see the top of the mountain, you see the sole of a boot in your face shoving you back down a few feet, or even yards, but life isn't mountain peaks, it's peaks and valleys and more gd mountains. All we can do is keep going.

I hope you feel better soon and find something that gets you out of the fog & going again. Keep your chin up, no matter how many knocks you take on it. If anything, just out of spite.

Stalls suck and they happen to everyone. I would see your dr or nutritionist to see whats going on. Make sure you are eating enough by tracking your protein, water, etc. Myfitnesspal.com is great for that. My nephew has spondylitis and I totally understand your concerns. However, you may want to talk to a counselor about the depression. Between your medical issues, weight loss surgery and plateaus, you have a lot of stress. Seeing someone could really help. Best of luck:-)

I'm sorry. I have spine problems also: degenerative changes, severe stenosis, bulging disc, spondylotheses (there's a very good chance I misspelled that last one). I've been told I need surgery. I'm hoping that if I can lose 100 pounds the condition of my spine will improve. At least I'll be in better shape for back surgery, and hopefully surgery will take care of my problems. You have done a wonderful job losing almost 100 pounds! I can understand your anguish, and I hope you'll find other benefits in your life brought about by the weight loss that will bring you pleasure and a sense of satisfaction and joy. Blessings.

So sorry. Life is full of adjustments. Praying for blessings to come your way.

Deep Breath.... I know that today seems really dark. But you are here for a purpose. Even if that purpose is not the plan you had for yourself. You are special and have many gifts, please focus on those instead of the "what if's". I too struggle with the way my life has been to this point, and have learned to count my blessings planned or not. I will be praying for you.

Love and light,

Tracy

It's not food. It's armor. Nothing fits, so I don't have any armor. Food and I were never really good friends anyway. I used to be a one meal a day woman. Don't get me wrong, I liked the taste of things, I still do, but I've always had to be reminded to eat more than once per day, unless a friend wanted to go out to eat.

The thing is, I've always used clothing to feel secure. I was a jeans and boots girl when I could still find boots that fit my calves (a thing I'm looking forward to finding again as the weight drops) I've always put on jeans when I wanted to feel pretty. But the other day I realized I don't have any jeans that fit right anymore. My best ones require a belt. And they fit on the legs in a way that makes me feel yucky.

The temporary solution is to go to Lane Bryant on my birthday and try on a new pair. But the long term solution eludes me right now. With no armor, I don't know how to face the world.

Great job Shalon,

I am proud of you for taking the time just to think about the 4 things. I must say playing all those instruments is quite amazing and something you should be super proud of. I can't play any type of instrument. I played the flute in middle school but that was along time ago.

I hope you were able to walk with someone yesterday! This cold weather has all of us feeling blah!

Kacie

Hi Shalon,

Those are some great, positives about yourself. You sound like an amazing person. I have noticed that many people struggle with depression after weight loss surgery. It seems like there is a bit of mourning for the old you and also for food, which has been such a friend. Talking to a professional sounds like the best course of action here. And know that there are many supportive people on this forum

Exercise really does help with depression. If you have cable or satellite tv, there are many fitness programs you can view on demand including several no or low impact ones. Give it a try and please let us know how you are doing.

Originally Posted by kacie77

tell me 5 fabulous things about you and what you plan on doing this Summer when it's warmer outside.
Geaux!!!

Five things?

IDK if they're fabulous

But I can sell anything to just about anyone at work. All I need is a few minutes to figure out who they are and what they're there for.

I'm the kind of person that others aren't afraid to lean on, I think it's because I accept my friends as they are and let them decide how we interact. I've been told it's a little bit because I forgive people too, but that sounds silly. I've been hurt so bad and hated so long that it was eating me up, so I stopped letting it have any more of my heart.

I can sing, and play violin, and recorder, and bowed psaltery, and memorize music like other people eat cake. Those might sound like separate things but they're all tied up with the way that music talks to me.

I love the color of my hair. Even after I cut it so short it's a beautiful brownish red that's unique and awesome.

I can't think of a fifth thing right now, mostly because some of my favorite things about myself are currently changing because of the surgery and I don't know where they're going to land anymore. Well, maybe that's not true... I also know I can survive this. I can survive anything, and I will. I'm just having an especially difficult time right now.
I've had worse.
I think.
But inside the bad moments it's incredibly hard to remember that. Especially since thinking about how much worse it's been just tends to make me even more depressed, thinking about what I don't have that so many other people take for granted.

Thank you all for your supportive words. I need the support today.

I too suffer from mental illness and I thought I was prepared...nope...one of my meds is time-release...and it is going right through me (TMI, but I've seen the evidence ;/ ) Anyway - I got on the phone with my talk doc and my psychiatrist...I'm going to be okay...I know this because I have faced so many dark days, and I have gotten through them too...Try to remember all of the dark days you've made it through...Try coloring...Journaling...screaming into your pillow...come here and write every day...people are so wonderful here...I am on you side - and I hope you will reach out...to everyone, and everywhere possible...Bring Change to Mind - NAMI...There is help out there - go get it <3

So sorry you're having such an emotional roller coaster ride! Prayers and Hugs! Definitely get ahold of your doc..... TALK to someone professional!

I am not an expert, but from my experiences and first-hand knowledge, I am going to share what I know. I worked in a nursing home for 4.5 years and know that there are exercise programs out there for everyone. Just do a search on YouTube and see if you can find one that fits your needs.

Also, PART of that cagey feeling is just being stuck inside for so long. My kids have been at each others' throats for because they want to go out and play but it is too cold (I think we only hit -35 degrees today). This cageyness is called sun-downers (depression due to winter weather). My grandmother (she is a massage therapist) promotes light therapy during the winter months. It makes you feel like an idiot, but it works. I've used it and I have seen it used on patients at the nursing home. Light therapy = 30-60 minutes a day with a flash light turned on pointed to your third eye (middle of your forehead). This will not do anything for your PTSD; however, it will help with the sun-downers. The light therapy and exercise will help with your general depression as well.

I am advocating that if you have any signs that you will hurt yourself, please call someone. If you are unable to handle your situation, please call someone.

I am praying for your mental health.

if you need hospitalization, go. they can give you hydration and/or nutrients via iv. and they also have dieticians who can feed you keeping allergies and new tummy in mind. if that's a course you think is best, don't let the diet aspect stop you. we're all here for moral support but if you need additional support, go get it. you are your best advocate. hugs-gordita

Hey Sweets sounds like you need to call the doctors office and get a game plan in order!
I want you to come back and tell me 5 fabulous things about you and what you plan on doing this Summer when it's warmer outside.
I will start with 5 thing fabulous about me!
1. I am a great cook
2. I think I am funny (in a smart ass kind of way)
3. I dance like no one is watching
4. I like my pretty blue eyes
5. I like to take selfies

Geaux!!!

I have ptsd and have some idea of what you are feeling today. Get in touch with your sleeve team maybe they can help. I was not able to exercise after my surgery and I have been successful and reached goal. I feel so much better now and I know you can too. Call the help line if you need to, they are there to listen and support. Blessings to you. Joanne

Originally Posted by paradoxgal

What meds are you taking for your migraines? I hope you get them managed - I've only had a few migraines in my entire life and they are brutal! A bad headache is bad enough, but a migraine is misery.

Sumatriptan, and something else I left at work with caffeine in it that I haven't tried yet.
The Sumatriptan works but it also makes me high and drowsy while it's doing its thing so I can't take it to work.

I love the reason the migraines are happening more frequently(ie the weight loss) but I hate knowing that this means I have to live with them like this for another 150 pounds. ouch!