My long painful Struggle

[Rainbow]

I have struggled for years with what felt like such a losing battle with inflammation and weight gain. I so clearly remember the defeat and desperation I was feeling 2 years ago when my Dr told me Osteo Arthritis had settled into my feet and ankles. I was on the verge of being permanently disabled. I hated hobbling around on my painful swollen ankles and feeling so old and fat, but the worst part was him saying it was going to continue to get worse and there was a whole domino effect that was set in motion...the weight making it worse on the joints, the pain causing less activity, the inflammation causing...yes I said CAUSING, more weight gain,.. the soon to be sedentary Immobile life style that can quickly escalate the situation till I could see myself as an 800 LB woman being lifted with a crane! Which now leads me to the next chapter in this pitiful saga of my struggle! Get ready because there is soo much more that I am about to tell you, that I am to embarrassed to admit out loud .....
So I asked my Dr, (who on a side note happens to be my Dr for almost 30 years) …. I say “Dr, if I could loose the weight would it help? I mean Look at me, I have TINY feet and I am a hundred lbs overweight!” The dear friend that he is, sighed, because he already knows how hard we have both together been battling my weight issues for the last 10 years... but ever the kind and supportive Dr., he explains the complex health issues that are keeping me fat. I can tell by the look on his face that he is waiting for the inevitable tears and trying to formulate a pep talk about not giving up. But in a most unpredictable & cheerful way, I say "What about the Lap Band?" I see surprise and hope light up his eyes and he grabs his computer and does some calculations then grins from ear to ear and says “Yes! You do fit the criteria.” He explained that insurance does not cover Bariatric surgery, so I would have to finance it myself. He explained that wherever I go to have it done, make sure they have their "Certificate of Excellence" (that is the top credentials in the bariatric world and only the best surgeons who have been doing it the longest have it) So I went shopping and Educating myself. I found out that here in Oregon it would cost $15,000 to $35,000 depending on which hospital. I knew I could probably get on a payment plan (they offer them) from $400 to $600 a month. Then I found Dr. Zapata, not only did he have the “certificate of excellence” but he happens to be one of the most renowned Bariatric surgeons in the world. The fact that he was in Mexico was a little scary, but he was a pioneer in the field and actually trained under the guy that invented it! I would like to leave it at that and say that is why I went with him but the truth is, it cost only $6,000 and that included EVERYTHING, hotel stay before, hospital stay, anesthesia, hotel stay after, even transportation to and from Airport. All in a very nice 4 points Sheridan resort, first class all the way. I made up my mind.
Next was convincing my husband. I was prepared for a battle, I hadn't been in the best health for a long time, and had previous surgeries with way more complications than a normal person would. That was his biggest concern, complications... but I was a Freight train and there was NO stopping me! I used every ounce of charm in my being and every devious emotional manipulation I possessed. I mean I really dug deep; the poor guy didn't stand a chance. (Just so you know I don't usually use my powers for evil, or even for selfish reasons) He got on board and was even excited about it, but BEGGED me to wait till after our sons wedding and after harvest when things would be slow in winter, so that if there WERE any complications at least it wouldn’t ruin the wedding and it would be easier on everyone. But, Spoiled rotten brat that I am, I could not be stopped. I kept telling him there would not be any complications. The odds were in my favor. I was seduced by the idea that if I hurried and had it done in July, then by the wedding in August, I would be down 20 or more LBS! 20 LBS!!! Do you have any idea how much that would mean to someone as vain as me??? I’m Tellin’ ya this is the one biggest regret I have over the whole stupid mess, I HAD to have my way and it backfired and then ....well I am getting ahead of myself now... this is what happened next…
"So my best friend Lilly and I, board a plane go to Mexico. My Dr Zapata (he is SO awesome) informs me that my case was too complicated, so he could not do the Lap band. (I was not surprised and already had plan “B” formulated because that is the kind of evil genius that I am) I was eligible for a slightly more dangerous more expensive surgery called a Gastric Sleeve. As my husbands words of warning and begging are floating in my head: “Don’t go through with it if there is any doubt or change at all”... “just get back on the plane”…Well his words got drowned out by my own thoughts of “20LBS!!!” and “MY Body My Choice!!” My Fantasy dream world of happily ever after kept me smiling all the way into surgery. Oh how I HATE surgery! When I woke up it really hurt! I had let them cut most of my stomach away leaving me with a very tiny little tube banana shaped stomach. It was a lot more invasive then the Lap Band but with 2 times more weight loss in Half the time! So surgery went well, I was recovering nicely in a beautiful hospital, very luxurious. Better then any here in Oregon!
I started to get sick the day we were to fly home. The next morning after I arrived home, I woke up to a fever that climbed very quickly from 99 to 104 in 3 short hours. I could barely walk and my husband rushed me to emergency room. Where I got much worse over 9 hours of stupid tests (when it was pretty obvious what was wrong) then the surgeon walked in and pointed out the obvious, I had a very large infection at one of the small incision sites. Then he said “we gotta cut now.” He was not kidding! Right there in the E.R. he cut open my abdomen and started digging, while I watched, (and screamed a little) the infection was very bad and we did not know what Type Germ it was yet. The abscess was very large. I kept saying “you’re making a big hole!” He would say “Yes I am”. When he was done I was very freaked out by the gaping hole, but his next words sent me into a whole nether dimension of being freaked out! He said “We have to leave this open, I have to stuff this with gauze now, and we will have to change the packing a couple times a day”... From a distance I could hear myself arguing.... “You’re gonna LEAVE the hole??? You can’t just put a big old hole in someone and just LEAVE it?!!" So he sighed deeply and explained that it was very deep and needed to heal from the inside out. It was the only way to make sure we leave no infection behind, “and besides", he says, “it's not that big of a hole.” My eyes get wide and I say "Not that BIG? It’s gotta be at least as big as a walnut!" He winces then explains "Well actually more like a Golf ball, possibly even a tennis ball."(was actually 3 inch wide 4 inch deep) I had no come-back for that. I was finally speechless, which was a good thing because my Trauma-Drama ranting was even starting to get on my own nerves! So as I lay there trying to take in the magnitude of what was happening I silently listened to the grim prognosis he was grimly delivering. There was a good chance the infection might not respond well to treatment if it was a certain staff infection they dread called Mersa. If it was, then I could be dead within a week or 2. Over the next few days different test kept coming back negative. We all breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn't the dreaded Killer Staff “Mersa”, but grew more alarmed as the less toxic staff germs were ruled out. After the 3rd day we had our culprit. It was Strep. (I know....I just thought it was for sore throats too!) But it turns out there are many types of strep germs. Well this happens to be a pretty dangerous germ too (same deadly category as Mersa), I had to start intravenous treatments of high powered antibiotics, very similar to cancer treatment (chemo)with the same horrible side effects ... Everything that could go wrong did and continued to do so…My veins got phlebitis (inflamed), I got a Blood clot in my Pic Line( a iv tube that puts a wire in main artery runs directly to heart) and it had to be pulled. My liver became inflamed. Despite their best efforts the wound was not healing, and it seemed I was circling the drain, I had become severely dehydrated. Then My Dr. did one more test, it came back positive; I had C-Diff, Another deadly infection in my intestines. It was a severe complication from the IV treatments of Antibiotics. Needless to say I was so ill for my Sons Wedding I could barely walk down the Isle. I can’t even joke or make light of the disappointment and guilt I feel over my sons wedding. To wrap it up now, I fought for my life for about 3 months, lost 70 lbs in 4 months (way too much too fast) my hair fell out because of the shock to my system. After 9 months I lost 95lbs. By 1 year I lost 100lbs. It has been a year and a half now and my goal was to loose 100 lbs and be a size 8. I am down to a size 4. And have lost 125lbs! The complications from the Strep and the c-diff sent my “mild” colitis into “severe” colitis, the Constant diarrhea and vomiting from that has made it a struggle to maintain a healthy weight. Also it is a struggle to stay hydrated. My weight is no longer free-falling and I have found ways to maintain by being very careful to concentrate on nutrition. But it is still a struggle as Stress triggers the colitis and I am under a LOT of stress!. The bills from my ordeal really piled up (over $50,000) and my insurance company refuses to pay for any of them. (Claiming bariatric surgery complications.) My husband is very angry with me, but not as much as I am at myself. It is so strange to find myself in the very opposite struggle of trying not to LOOSE weight! Ironic, I know.
Now all I can do is look to the future. I am grateful to be alive and grateful to have the weight off. I cannot stress enough the difference it has made in my daily life. The positive benefits have been so rewarding! My feet and ankles no longer swell up, I no longer limp and hobble when I walk! I can take a flight of stairs and not be gasping for air! Seriously! It is the same as walking for me, I don’t feel it at all! I sleep pretty good at night and no longer snore (my husband loves that part) I wake up in the morning and it is EASY to get up, I no longer feel drugged and sluggish. I don’t have constant headaches and migraines. The inflammation that overwhelmed my body for so long is finally under control. I no longer have to worry about being crippled and sedentary. So much to be thankful for! I just wish my hair would grow back, it is still very thin and I wear a wig most of the time. Even without the wig, my husband tells me I am beautiful! A girl can’t ask for more then that!
I hope you enjoyed the read! I would love to hear your story if you feel like shareing!

[Tabby]

Wow! I am so sorry that you had such an awful beginning, but what a blessing that it sounds like it has turned around for you. I am lucky to not have had any of that trouble and so very thankful now. Thank you for sharing. I pray that your journey will be a help to others.

[lshepler]

Thank you so much for your story. In the beginning, you sound so much like me. Once I had made the decision, it was all over. Nobody was changing my mind. And I, too, am so thankful to have taken charge of my life. Prayers coming your way...medical bills are never fun, but you have your life back...and probably a much longer one! Happy Holidays to you!
Lisa

[lshepler]

Thank you so much for your story. In the beginning, you sound so much like me. Once I had made the decision, it was all over. Nobody was changing my mind. And I, too, am so thankful to have taken charge of my life. Prayers coming your way...medical bills are never fun, but you have your life back...and probably a much longer one! Happy Holidays to you!
Lisa

[jazziejasmine]

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story! I came to this forum to find the truth and the answers to my queries and you have really put this all in perspective. As much as I hate being overweight, I can't bear the thought of leaving my children without a mother if the worst happens nor could we possibly recover from the hospital bills to incur because my insurance would be the same as yours and not cover the complications from an unapproved weight loss surgery. Again, thank you and God bless you and your health.

[TrailNurse]

Thank you for this post. I am on my second round of c-diff because of the pre (sinus infection) & post op antibiotics and I am very discouraged. How did you finally get over the c-diff? Any tips for me?

I just want to feel well again. I have been dealing with it on my own and trying to stay hydrated but the antibiotics are taking it's toll and I never feel quite right.

[Rainbow]

Jazziejasmine, so glad this was helpful to you. I want to be clear that with everything i went through, i would do it all again. I payed a much higher price then most, but it was worth it. My life is So much better now. By learning from my mistake, i would recommend a longer recovery time supervision under the surgeon of your choice. Dr Zapata would have kept me from getting so sick if i had stayed a few days longer! OR... Have it done Locally in your area so your surgeon can be quick to act if you develop a complication. As far as the cost, i look at it like a car payment, or credit card payment, only it was worth so much more because it gave me back my LIFE! Truly the best money ever spent!

[UK Tim]

That has got to be one of the most profound posts I have read on this site. Humbling. No doubt the nutters are going to start criticising you for being negative or not conforming to their happy slappy clappy outlook on life... but it's real, it's relevent, and it's balanced. Thanks so much.

[stephintexas]

That has got to be one of the most profound posts I have read on this site. Humbling. No doubt the nutters are going to start criticising you for being negative or not conforming to their happy slappy clappy outlook on life... but it's real, it's relevent, and it's balanced. Thanks so much.

Nutters? Where? lol I'm new here. Please illustrate how to spot said "nutters."

I can say after reading that post, I am glad my surgeon is local!

[matteonl]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles but so glad you are okay now. You are beautiful!

[ladyberg]

I was so determined to have the surgery and my BMI was only 31%. Like you, there was no stopping me. I just never thought I would have any complications. But I did. Got back to the states to find one of my surgical sites were infected, although not as bad as your story. I am having problems with my neck which I know came from being intubated and having to do phyisical therapy for that. I now have problems with reflux, which I never did before the surgery. I feel hungry all the time but find that I still have a hard time getting and keeping food down without vomiting secreations or food back up. Not drinking 30 minutes before or after eating is another problem for me. I never seem to get in enough fluids. I am only 5 weeks out so I can not say that I feel that this was the best thing I have ever done for myself or that I do not have any regrets. Maybe with time, all will be better.

[TNMama]

WOW! No other words <<hugs>>