My Surgery Fund

[britiajon]

Go to your control panel at the top, then on the left side edit your email settings and put a fake email address in there. That should work.

And I am sorry your hurting but I would encourage you to stop being a victim and start being a proactive advocate for yourself. Your not ready for this surgery if you can't be. Come up with a plan. Set goals, etc. If this is something you really want you will a way to make it happen, and it will be all the more satisfying in the end.

[britiajon]

Go to your control panel at the top, then on the left side edit your email settings and put a fake email address in there. That should work.

And I am sorry your hurting but I would encourage you to stop being a victim and start being a proactive advocate for yourself. Your not ready for this surgery if you can't be. Come up with a plan. Set goals, etc. If this is something you really want you will a way to make it happen, and it will be all the more satisfying in the end.

[N2DVN]

Everyone, this sounds like a very rookie mistake. We are all on here to encourage each other, aren't we? This person has apologized and asked for forgiveness.

I'm sure many of us have spent our entire lives being bullied. Many of us have so much negativity in our lives regarding our decision. Those of us on this site don't need to be bullying or discouraging someone who wants what all of us want. Can you cut this person some slack?

(I too am self pay b/c my BCBS policy doesn't cover any Bariatrics. Since I cannot afford the $16k surgery locally, I will be going to MX in January.)

We are all are on the same journey, to end our battles with being overweight and the problems that go long with it. May God bless everyone!

[cindylutz]

I don't think people should bully you or be cruel and you are more than welcome to be here. We are a very friendly group. Its just like the above post said.. we all worked our butts off for this surgery. It's hard for us to fathom asking complete strangers for financial help thats all. Maybe if you gave us more history and a story about your struggles it would have helped but you just totally asked for money up front and thats it. Good luck on your journey.

[Msvetrn]

Wow...I missed this whole thing...but there is another person on here who asked for donations, too...so weird.

[britiajon]

Must have missed that one. I don't get the mindset? I don't care if you have to pick pop bottles until you have it, it's better then asking complete strangers to finance it.

Is this a common thing? Do people regularly go around asking for money via the Internet for things?

I've been part of a particular forum for 15 years. I have donated money to members because of tradgedys, house fire, loss of a child, death of a spouse. They are friends even though I've never actually met them, but I've never seen people just come out and say hey, I'd appreciate some money because I want ________. Just weird

[lifetogain]

I understand now that I have offended the members of this community. People have even questioned my morals. I do not know, I guess I may not have good morals since I have eaten myself into a morbid state and now need surgery to prevent myself from continuing to do damage. I clearly have issues with judgment and self control, afterall I can not stop eating on my own, even to save my own life.


Why would asking strangers for financial help be any less immoral than not taking proper care of my own body?

What could be more immoral than abusing your body with the very things that are supposed to nourish it.

Why would you ask perfect strangers for financial help?

Why would you eat a whole cake, or a whole chicken? Or why would you eat too much?

I am immoral though, not because I asked for fivers and twenties, but because I have abused my body for years.


why do I need surgery to just stop eating? I mean, I get full. I feel full. Why not just stop.
Someone here encouraged to stop being a victim and be proactive because I expressed hurt.

I am just amazed by the debasing comments posted here, (one particularly cruel woman edited hers but I did read what she said about my comment being "worthless crap") and also some the private messages I received were so abusive, I had to wonder if these people needed a psychiatrist rather than a bariatric surgeon.




One poster said it is really weird that people ask for donations. But is it any more weird than having no control over how much one eats. Or allowing oneself to gain so much weight that just moving around for 5 minutes is difficult, or even developing pressure boils on your bum just from the weight of your own body.



I was hurt earlier but I realize the beauty of all this.

Here I am being criticized and in some cases abused for such a simple decision (to ask for help), by people who have (like myself) lived their lives making terrible decisions about how they treat themselves.

[cindylutz]

Like i said... you gave us no other info other than asking for money. We don't even know you yet. Keep in mind we all get to know each other and do offer support to each other. (not financially mind you) What have you tried to do to help yourself financially? You cant really expect us to just send money to somebody we don't know at all just because you asked for it. Yes, we have all made terrible decisions with our food choices. Have you reached out to your family or your friends or your community? Tried to raise money doing yard sales or do you work?? we have no idea about anything about you and again, we have worked hard to get this surgery ourselves. Maybe some more info would have been a better way to approach the subject or getting to know us before asking for a handout.

[britiajon]

I'm going to be perfectly frank. You've got a huge pity party going on, and I get that. We all have them. The difference is instead of giving up and expecting others to fix our problems, we give ourselves a shake and set about figuring out what WE need to do to help ourselves.

Your story is not unique, we have all been there from one extreme or the other. If you go into this thing with a poor me attitude, thinking you are helpless to help yourself, you are bound for failure. This is not a magic bullet. All those issues you have will still be there, and once things heal up and you are physically able, you can and will sabotage yourself again.

You sound like you need help. What form that takes is not for me to say, but I know it doesn't lie in begging for money on the Internet. Reach out to someone, whether that be a dr, mental health worker, church or family or friends. There is hope, so much hope, but you have to find a way to be in charge of your own life and health. This surgery is only a tool, it's not the answers to all the problems.

Good luck on your journey

[lifetogain]

I asked for financial help, yes I did. I am not known here, that is true. I just think that my treatment has more to do with all of us just being human beings.

What I wrote was not really offensive in itself. It was not directed to anyone personally but it hit a nerve. It made some people ask "how dare he" "how dare she" But this is how humans behave.

When a fat man or woman is seen walking into a room, the whole room asks how dare he, how dare she. They wonder about the person's morals.

"They eat too much" They are immoral.

I mean someone just posted "I don't get the mindset?"

Seriously??? The mindset? What type of mindset does it take to eat past being full. What type of mindset does it take to abuse your body with food, you look socially unacceptable, but you still do it??


That too is a mindset that needs to be considered.

This person does not get my mindset, but does he or she "get the mindset" of someone who eats until they become 600 pounds??

I asked for help to pay for my surgery. It was a failure of judgment.

I am fat AND POOR!!

I mean I just wish people could see how amzing this is. One simple impression and my morals are on trial. I am no longer worthy of human consideration.
People feel free to insult me.

I showed myself to be different.

It is the same thing that thin or thinner people do to fat people.

Yes I asked for help in paying for my surgery, but the responses here are just human.

People automatically assumed that I was lazy, unworthy, unwilling to work.

I am the "fat girl" in this room.

[cindylutz]

Oh please you really need to stop comparing you asking for money to overeating. Its 2 totally different issues. All of us in here obviously have weight and eating issues. I don't think anyone should be bullying you or sending hateful comments but come on! when you ask for money online on a public forum you have to realize that not everyone is going to think its a wonderful thing to do. And again! you still havent given us any background about yourself and why you cant come up with the money yourself. I say move on.. not to another forum but away from this post and just let it die. Get to know the people in here. There are some great people in here but we aren't going to just give money to a stranger. Anyone could come on here and say they need surgery and ask for money. You didnt even try to get to know us! Get over it.

[michelleb]

I did not refer to this post as worthless crap, I referred to your 1st post (a response to the 'can the sleeve make you gay' thread) where you felt it worthy to bash the poster without knowing any details either. You chose to delete that thread, hence I edited my post here. Just setting the record straight.

You continue your sit on your soap box here and turn this around on a very supportive forum, but you not once offered up any information as to why we should even help. There are many generous posters on this forum but don't ever expect a handout from strangers with this type of post.

[lifetogain]

You think you are better than I am because I am different. In the same way that thinner people may feel superior to fat people because they are different. One person even told me to seek a mental health worker. Did he or she seek one on the way to 280 pounds? Probably not.

The funny thing is, I could just start a new ID and chat up with all the people who called me "freeloader" "stupid bitch" (I deleted my original post hoping to quell the hatemail, so I not sure if I let on that I am a woman) "greedy" "lazy" "worthless" and you would not even know it was me.

I could spend time chatting with you, you would learn to trust me, as long as I seemed like you.

It would be like the fat girl, went away and lost weight and became like everyone else.

[tessa_ellis]

AMAZED at some people, seriously ? Just delete this damn post, none of us are dishing out any money, some of us have insurance that helped cover surgery, and alot of people worked their asses off to get the surgery, shame on you !

[lifetogain]

You think you are better than I am because I am different. In the same way that thinner people may feel superior to fat people because they are different. One person even told me to seek a mental health worker. Did he or she seek one on the way to 280 pounds? Probably not.

The funny thing is, I could just start a new ID and chat up with all the people who called me "freeloader" "stupid bitch" (I deleted my original post hoping to quell the hatemail, so I not sure if I let on that I am a woman) "greedy" "lazy" "worthless" and you would not even know it was me.

I could spend time chatting with you, you would learn to trust me, as long as I seemed like you.

It would be like the fat girl, went away and lost weight and became like everyone else.