Did you have a family member who made your surgery their business?

[courtney]

I was afraid that my husband was going to get upset with me, because I had something to say during pretty much every discussion he had at the hospital with a doctor, nurse, assistant, nutritionist, respiratory specialist, and any other professional he came in contact with.

Not that he normally wouldn't be capable of having these discussions without me, but he was pretty loopy yesterday, and I didn't want his lack of awareness to cause him to suffer more when he came out of it.

For example:

They moved him into his private room about 2:00 yesterday. The first thing he said to his nurse was that he was having bad nausea. She said she would get him something for it. Two hours passed. No nausea medicine, despite the fact that she has come in the room numerous times and he has told her every time that he still had the nausea. Then the doctor comes in to visit and see how hubby is feeling, at which time different meds get added to the list of nausea meds hubby is allowed to take.

By 5:30, guess what??? No nausea medicine. I asked the nurse's assistant to call her and ask about it, and the nurse hung up on her! The assistant then called her from a different phone and told her what we needed.

I happened to step out in the hallway right as she was on her way in, finally with this mythical medicine. I made it very clear to her that allowing him to suffer for three and a half hours when she had means to make him feel better was unacceptable. She gave me one bs line after another... bottom line? She didn't communicate with us, and it left me feeling like my poor husband was being ignored when he needed her most.

I also informed the assistant manager of the nurses that this happened.

Well, today, when one of the surgeon's assitants came by to ask how things were going, and they asked how the nurses were doing, hubby started to say everything was great because he didn't remember what had happened the day before. I couldn't keep my mouth shut, lol.... I had to let her know what happened. I mean, she asked, right?

Then tonight at the pharmacy, I felt a need to examine all of hubby's meds and make sure they were in the easiest form to digest possible. Luckily the pharmacist was nice about this and the prescriptions were written in a way that gave me that kind of freedom.

I hope hubby doesn't think I'm hovering too much. I guess it's just that I know these next few weeks are gonna be tough enough, and I wanted to make sure he suffers as little as possible.

[Scotty]

You are doing the right thing. If any of my family is in hospital we have anouther family member with them in hospital as much as possible, I believe that while the hospital staff do their best there is nothing better than a family member there to monitor everything and assist as much as possible to actually aid the hospital staff. The things that can happen are horrific, keep up the good work, while your husband may say "don't worrie I'll be ok" I bet he really appreciates your assistance.
To wait any more than 30 minuets for nausea relief I would have been screaming down the hallway, remember the squeaky wheel gets the oil!
You are acting in his best interest and that can not be bad, keep up the good work and look after your man.

[MoreFitDiane]

Yup! I agree with Scotty! You are the patient advocate and you're doing a great job!

[sandyfromoz]

Here here, good for you courtney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Xoxo

[lgm32]

I will be honest with you mate, I do think you did the right thing but I know if I did it with my hubby he wouldn't like it very much. He prefers to suffer in silence rather than have me interfere.

[renniemommie]

If you don't take care of him NO ONE WILL. This is true FOREVER. When you are elderly, same thing..he who gets the best care and the best people is he who makes the most noise. Make them do their job. I don't care who you piss off, call the Dr on his emergency number to get him to call the hospital for his meds. If being really nice and sweet doesn't work, then crank it up the other way. Drs are not Gods, and nurses very much are not, they are also overworked and understaffed. A medical person is just the same as you, I give as much respect to a Dr as to a cashier at a store. Sounds like your husband is "old-school" when it comes to medical people, ultimate respect and wait for them to do what is right..and then wait and wait.
Forget that.
I do wonder a bit why you are so worried about how your husband will take you standing up for him? Are you a bit afraid of him or submissive to him, I'm not trying to pry, I'm just wondering. If so, stop that too!
your doing a good job, keep it up!

[courtney]

Thanks everyone

No, I'm not afraid of him at all. I just didn't want to agitate him because my goal that day was to minimize his suffering, not do anything to make him feel worse, no matter how well intended.

[jakh0bi]

Well as a nurse (lol) there is No excuse for neglect, we all get busy, but if some one has a problem i always address one person at a time always making sure the family is well informed. This causes less pain for every one, but not every one like me, taking on more then they can handle. But please Always speak up even if it sounds like u are being annoying... B etter to be annoying and get what makes u feel well than to leave it alone and in the end have a bigger problem.. Were all human no one is more deserving than any one else...