Opposition

[Keyo Mae]

Hi guys and girls!

My surgery is in 8 days and I am having a little trouble with muscle cramps and stuff because I am still trying to get the right balance with vitamins, minerals, protein, and water.
Due to me struggling with slight malnutrition, certain relatives (mostly my parents) are trying to tell me that this is proof that I don't need the surgery. My mom I can ignore since I don't live with her, but I do live with my mentally ill father who is dying of colon cancer.
He isn't bed ridden surprisingly and is still very consciously aware of what is going on around him. However, every once in a while he gets symptomatic and tries to discourage me by tempting me. Asking me to cook his meals and announcing whenever he eats something. He has even told me to cheat on my liquid diet and have a piece of chicken, etc. I have been determined to stay faithful to my eating plan and follow my doctors orders no matter what.

It is very hard, but I am hanging in there. I am thinking about my future and where I want to be as motivation. I am also thinking about how not many people get this opportunity because of insurance issues, etc. I have been so blessed these past few years and I refuse to let anyone rain on my parade.

Sorry for the long post. Anyway, has anyone else dealt with opposition the closer it got to their surgery from loved ones? If so, how did you cope?

[Luann]

Yes, I had surprising opposition mainly from my (former) best friend. Which was shocking because she had the sleeve herself over 5 years before.

I know some of it was concern, true concern because I was only real overweight / not in the obese or morbidly obese category yet. I was going to Mexico, which she surely had no real info on from research, only assumptions & bias. But it went from being worried to full out drama & nastiness / biting my head off on the phone the day before I was to fly out - to calling my coordinator (I had been stupid enough to give her contact info) and demanding they refuse to do my surgery / send me back to the states - on what authority I have no idea. Anyway my coordinator told me about the conversation she had when I landed in San Diego, and I am 100% certain she has no reason to make this up.

I think the other half of the drama was she was enjoying me being the fat one, and was incensed that I would be looking less dumpy at her daughter's wedding - which having lifelong ties to her family I would of course be attending. This wedding was scheduled for 3 or 4 months after my sleeve - and the first thing she yelped after hearing my surgery date was "The wedding!" Well, of course I can go. I will be well healed by then, which got no reply from her but absolute silence. My role in her life had mainly become the fat friend there to make her look good in comparison.
I had to cut ties with this person, this was sort of the last straw in a decade worth of outbursts & completely crazy stuff that would come from time to time. Your parents are a different situation, I am sure they are only doing this out of love & genuine concern. Maybe tell them how the overweight is affecting your life & health, and that you want a chance to be healthier? Or share with them your surgeon & hospitals qualifications - maybe that will reassure them.
Sorry that your father is ill. He may also be aware of how much he depends on you, and fearful of losing you in case something goes wrong.

[Belle22]

Luanne,
As far as your close friend, we all need to know that sometimes there is a lot of good in goodbye. We are doing this for ourselves and our life quality, and yes....we want to look good. Too bad she isn't happy for you. Ditch this good friend. She won't help you reach or stay at your goal.