I always feel weird when people say they are proud of me....

[cindylutz]

I'm not ever sure what to say. I don't feel like i've done anything great.. just the surgery doing it's job. I said that to somebody today when they said they were proud of me and they said well you still had to have the courage to have the surgery and obviously you are sticking to the program and following instructions because it is working. And, yes i guess they are right. still seems weird for somebody to be proud of me. I dont know.. anyone else feel this way?

[llf321]

I don't like the compliments either but I just tell them, "thanks; I'm working on it" and move on. It's better than them telling you it was the easy way out. You deserve the compliments and saying they are proud of you is a compliment.

[crystal]

You should be proud of the compliments. Yes the surgery helps but YOU decided to do it, YOU are what's gonna continue to do your best to make healthy life changes choices.you DESERVE it be proud my friend.

[jackiebthe1]

I love the compliments. The encouragement makes me even more determined to do this. Even though the surgery has helped me more than I can say, I still have to follow the diet I was given and make smart choices. Also, the 5 weeks of protein shakes was not the easiest thing I've ever done. So, you need to pat yourself on the back, because the surgery alone does not lose the weight for you.

[Dana]

I feel the same way. I'm not saying it makes sense but I do. I think they just mean they are happy for me. I have several other thoughts, not real sure where they come from so I shouldn't post it on public forum I guess.

[frankcahall]

My boss every time he sees me tells me how proud he is of me. Every day at least 10 people at work tell me how great I am doing and how I don't look the same. But all of these people also know how unhealthy I was 6 months ago.

[Glock]

It's not all the surgery's doing, so be proud. You still have to follow the program, or it'll get screwed up, so you ARE doing it. I think some people realize that.

[Dee Leshuz]

Hey, Cindy et al, you ARE doing it, at my insurance we have to take these classes and they talked about someone who went and had a cheeseburger right after surgery and had to go to the ER. Not sure if it was b/c she was throwing up (duh!) or had trouble passing it, but there ARE people who do the surgery then don't follow the "diet" i.e. lifestyle changes we all have to make after having the surgery. So, you're allowed to be proud and let others be proud of you


In fact, I'm proud to know you and look to you as a role model of WHAT to do after surgery. Take that!

[Penny]

I'm glad you brought up this topic. I feel exactly the same way. When people compliment me on my weight loss, I feel embarrassed and usually try to change the subject. I wonder why? Why can't I own the victory and be proud?

[Ronnie]

I'm with you. I don't like that comment either...it kind of ruffles my feathers.... it's right up there with "You have such a pretty face"...AAARRRRGGGHHHHH I would prefer,"I really admire you for having the courage to make such a decision"... but "I'm proud or you.... it is about time you did this".... OH TALK ME OFF THE LEDGE!

[Penny]

Maybe THAT'S it. Maybe it's the implied "God, you were so awful before and it's about time you did something about it." Still, I'm sure that's not what they're trying to say -- it's just what my head says.

[Tony Baker]

You took a drastic action to solve a drastic problem... most people don't, can't or won't do that. People realize that it's so much easier to let life just happen and yet you decided to take control of your life, and make things happen the way you believe they should. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of myself. Don't let anybody fool you. The "easy way out" is to do nothing, and just let life happen to you. Every time someone says that they're proud of you. Just remember, that your actions are not only making your life better, but they are and can be an inspiration to others to take action and solve whatever problems they're having. That's something to be proud of!

You go girl!

[jane_vsg_ayla]

I think sometimes we know we should be proud of ourselves and we actually are, its just that we are so used to shrinking from ANY attention on our bodies. I know when my boss comments on my hair or my clothes or my weight that he is LOOKING at me (and not just my brain!) and I feel embarassed like I am naked or something. Its just uncomfortable, even though he certainly implies nothing other than an obvious observation!

So, be proud of yourself, and learn to just say "thank you" when complimented. That's a hard lesson to learn - I used to always give excuses when someone complimented me, like "oh I didnt really do anything" or "yeah but you see the little flaw over here, etc. My mom sews some beautiful things, but whenever you tell her how pretty something is she shows you all the places she messed up! I am the same way - I paint a room, someone says how great it turned out, and I show them all the places I touched the ceiling by accident! Duh... shut up and say "thank you!"

[janielou]

I just finished my first week back at work. I know what you are talking about, but I think people say things like that because they are truly in awe of how I took control of a situation that was way out of control. Most people have no personal frame of reference for this, so they don't know what to say. And, damnit, we are brave and a little crazy for taking this step. We deserve good wishes.

The thing that was making me a little nuts were the questions. But, again, I had to remind myself that these people care or they wouldn't ask and they have no frame of reference for what we have been through. By about Wednesday afternoon, though, I was ready to send out a company wide email with all the details and possibly include some pictures, just to get on with it.

The next thing I find a little strange is how everyone watches me eat now. The next person that asks me "Should you be eating that" get one right to the kisser.

But overall, I am lucky. Everyone around me is very supportive. I think the issues are in me, not in them.

[cindylutz]

Thanks everyone for your comments!