Gastric Sleeve Support Newbie

**divaprof** · 03-24-2014 12:41 PM

Hello all. I am new to support groups -- really good at giving support -- not so good at asking for it. My journey begins as I imagine many does with a life frustrated by many (nearly constant) attempts at weight loss. As an opera singer, weight is constantly an issue with our new world of High Def - it doesn't matter if you sound fantastic you must also fit the mold. It is hard enough to live in our society as a larger person - imagine being on stage where many feel it is completely appropriate to comment on your weight. It makes you crazy - in fact - I have starved myself so much that I think I damaged my heart as well as my metabolism. As a motivated musician, I wouldn't consider WLS as I should be able to do it by myself...and I didn't want to be cut in my abdominal area. So what changed? Well I was on the path to death. Sound dramatic? Unfortunately it is true. Last summer I started getting weaker and it was progressing very quickly. I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension. After lots of tests, I finally found a wonderful specialist who said I was carrying 80-100lbs of excess fluid. Diuretics, even in massive doses didn't do much as I was allergic to 3 of the 4. The fourth has horrible side effects and is ungodly expensive. I take it though because without it I can gain 3-7lbs a day. The next step suggested was WLS. I was broken hearted as I didn't want to have to do it...but finally a phenomenal surgeon made me realize that it is not an eating problem as much as a metabolic problem. He helped me through the insurance process and 2 mos later I was ready for surgery.

I was 'sleeved' on March 3 - traveled through snowstorm Titan to get to the hospital. I had a wonderful surgical team who was very careful. You see, I'm also allergic to most things -- all antibiotics, latex, codeine the list goes on and on. Thankfully I survived. So now I'm on this journey back to life. And I'm terrified. emotional...still have anesthesia-head...did I mention terrified? What if the weight doesn't come off after all this... ?

I started last summer at 447. Day of surgery 408.2. Today - 3 weeks later 386.2

I'm glad that I did it as I don't really want to die - Just tired and trying to be hopeful that better days are coming. They say the first 2 mos are the hardest. Do you agree?

**AkilahD** · 03-24-2014 12:53 PM

Hello Diva!

Congratulations on your journey to a new you! As a singer, I was really concerned about the surgery too, but then I just thought about how much my lung capacity, abdominal and diaphragm control, posture, stamina, etc. would improve after losing the weight. Our fears can sometimes be our worst enemy, and with the additional health concerns, you had a lot to think about. Now, it is just about pushing yourself to take it all the way. Just like a performance, practice makes perfect, and this new life takes lots of practice (as I am learning myself.) You can do it!

Akilah

**mis770** · 03-24-2014 01:31 PM

I am only 17 days out and I would agree that it gets better.I am sill hungry all the time but it is getting better. Good luck and welcome.

**idigfrstbase** · 03-24-2014 01:44 PM

I also said for years I would never risk my life for weight, but now it is different. This may be the saving grace for most of us. Especially if we look at what we can to for ourselves along the way, good food, exercise and surround yourself with healthy active people. I hope this surgery gives you a new lease on life and good luck.

**brightnessofhope** · 03-24-2014 01:47 PM

Good luck to you divaprof! An opera singer- how cool! I wish you all the best!

**divaprof** · 03-24-2014 05:07 PM

Thanks all for your comments. I should add that I am excited too in the hopes of getting back to life. Jsu so darn impatient! Best wishes to you on your journey!