Didn't want anyone to know

[Bella66]

My first post, so bare with me please. So when I started this process I thought I was going to keep it a secret from everyone but then I started telling a few of my family member & coworkers, a few friends.....but the feedback I've gotten has been very mixed good & bad. I guess maybe the most hurtful has been "you're taking the easy way out" or "why can't you just not eat so much"? Really people? There is nothing easy about Bariatric Surgery! But I've noticed that the people that are making those comments are overweight also, especially coworkers. I quit smoking on Christmas Eve of 2012 and now want to get this weight off so I can lead a healthy life and basically have a life that I can enjoy. Does anyone else get those kinds of comments? Do people really think Bariatric surgery is the easy way out? You've got to be joking? I couldn't ever imagine saying that or any of the above to anyone.
But the good news is....I'm doing this for me and my family and that's enough motivation for me!

[Kathy Mather]

I had those comments also. You are doing this for the right reasons- for you, your health and your family. Once they see your progress they will change their attitude. I had my surgery August 2012, I've lost 64 lbs. and I have never felt better and I am very happy with my sleeve. Take care of YOU. Good luck on your journey.

[Namaste]

Hi Bella:
I am sorry you got mixed reviews. Telling someone they're taking the easy way out is like telling a mastectomy patient they took the easy way out instead of just wishing it away or changing something to get rid of the cancer. People are insensitive, but mostly without a clue. Unless you're "one of us" you could never understand the food addiction. How many times I have "sworn off" overeating, only to return to my face in the plate. At 62 years of age, I have seen it all...and tried every diet. Great temporary relief & weight loss. Gastric sleeve for me is like a brake job. It will allow me to feel full and put the brakes on. That is something I never had. Someone once told me, "stick with the winners" and that's what you're doing. Surround yourself with those positive people. I applaud you quitting smoking, what an awesome step to health. Once you're sleeved, you will be returned to health. The easy way out? Only if you consider having your head removed to cure a headache. The surgery is not easy...the recovery process long, but so worth it. So, stick with the winners, we're all here for you & understand you in a way that other people cannot. God speed & keep in touch. Roberta

[Bella66]

Thanks so much! I'm not trying to be negative, just frustrated of others negatively. Thanks for your encouragement!! Congrats on your surgery and weight loss, 64 lbs is great!!!!

[Bilby]

Hi Bella ... Congrats on giving up smoking ... My 2 year anniversary was yesterday and I feel so much better for it.
I am sorry you are getting the mixed responses and this is causing you to doubt your reasons.
This is exactly the reason that no one (except my husband) knows I had the surgery and I am more and more thankful each day.
Be strong ... This is your journey!!!! Try and filter out the negativity.

[Bilby]

Hi Bella ... Congrats on giving up smoking ... My 2 year anniversary was yesterday and I feel so much better for it.
I am sorry you are getting the mixed responses and this is causing you to doubt your reasons.
This is exactly the reason that no one (except my husband) knows I had the surgery and I am more and more thankful each day.
Be strong ... This is your journey!!!! Try and filter out the negativity.

[Bella66]

Thanks so much! I'm not trying to be negative, just frustrated of others negatively. Thanks for your encouragement!! Congrats on your surgery and weight loss, 64 lbs is great!!!!

[Bella66]

Roberta, That message was so inspiring and uplifting, thanks so much!!! It's funny that's exactly what I told my hubby......it's a brake job. In his terminology because he's a mechanic...lol. I've yo-yo up & down my entire life and struggled for never ending results. I did succeed for about 8 yrs and keep it off, but then had medicals issues & family death & depressive eating and ended up back at this point again. But I need and want a healthier life and a better me!! Excited over the top but just as terrified of the surgery itself. I just realized that you just had surgery 3 days ago! Oh gosh,thank you beyond words for taking the time to comfort me!!!! Wow, what a great support system you guys are!! I pray that you are healing well and getting rest.

Becca
(I go by Becca- Bella is middle name) i need to correct my profile name

[CoComom]

I have mixed feelings about telling people too. I have told my husband, kids, and parents. Husband supported at first, now keeps saying things like "If you would just watch what you eat and eat healthier you wouldn't need the surgery" "Just trying to help" (I really hate that one) Kids are great about it. My mom freaked at first, now she supports me. I just don't like the things people say and I really hate defending my reasons for doing this. I have 3 sisters which are all thin. I can already tell you what will happen when they find out...1 will cry (don't need her pity) 1 will tell me horror stories of what happened to all these people she knows that had it done (all lies, she knows no one) and the other one will be supportive because you should do anything to make yourself LOOK better. I am doing this for me (my health). I am sure I will tell some people after it happens and they ask how I lost so much weight, but for the most part I think I will be telling them "with a lot of hard work" (that will not be a lie)

[Slove]

I will be very honest, I used to feel like surgery was cheating. Why can't we just change our ways,etc. ? I am a big mind over matter person. However, once I started doing my research it was unbelievably enlightening. It is not cheating, it is aditting that there is something in my life I cannot control and I need help. I am not good at asking for help so it has taken some time for me to accept the sleeve for what it is. It is not cheating it is my helper.....In fact I have completely changed how I think of it. I think it is brave to admit that you are not always in control and to take the necessary steps to correct it, risk life to have surgery, and still have to do all of the things that "normal dieters" do and then some for the rest of your life. So not speaking for your negative people but for me it was ignorance of what was truly involved for me to think of the sleeve as the easy way out.

[Bella66]

Oh, thank you!!! Congrats to you double time, for surgery & the smoking!!! Wow you've lost 57 lbs in a month!!! You're doing fantastic!!! How are you feeling?

[Hev]

Beautiful Bella!
Me again! I should have had this operation in March but due to my stepmother nearly dying in England I had to fly back to the uk on the day I should have had my surgery. I found so many people relieved that I didn't have the surgery..and telling. Me all those negative things horror stories of people.

so now I have only told a handful that I am having the surgery this time. People feel they have to tell you about someone and in most cases if you ask the details they can't tell you why the person in question was ill or worse.

So ignore people's horror stories and do it for you. There is a risk every time we step out our front door... Life's a risk.. My risk is if I don't don't do this I will die of something more unhealthy. I have plans and things to do and I want to be there for my grandchildren when they come into this world.

Weigh up the pros and cons the thought of having this surgery for some makes them do it on their own... I have tried I need help and for me this is my answer. Only you know what is right for you. For me having diabetes is scary and I don't want it full blown and later down the line when I am older health issues get worse not better. I took a while making this decision and twice I had to remake that same decision.. Good luck with your journey Hev

[ACE]

There was nothing easy about it. Having the sleeve has helped me figure out how to tell the difference between head hunger boredom hunger emotional hunger all o those things that I couldn't fill with food but I had been trying all those years. The mental roller coaster I was on the first year was rough but it was a big slap in the face that I needed. Anyone who says its easy has never done it and therefor doesn't know what its like. Those who are overweight making such comments have no place to talk and more than likely they say those things because they are jealous that you have this opportunity to change your life and they wish it was them in your shoes. You seem to have a great attitude and I wish you all the best. It wasnt easy but for me it was worth every bit of struggle.

[mavmickey1]

I have only told few people as well. My husband and his family are happy for me. My side...well..not so much. They keep telling me not to have the surgery...blah blah blah. I'm doing this for me...not for them. I have struggled with my weight since my teen years. I lost my mother in July of last year and that opened my eyes. I want to be here for my kids. I want to be able to do things with them and not say that in too tired. No matter what... I know people are going to talk. Good luck and proud of you for making the choice.

[LagunaLucy]

It's a private journey for me. I mentioned I was considering it to my dieting buddy and she flipped out on me. One thing I have noticed is her sister in law used to join us on our diets and suddenly, about a year now, she has lost all of her weight and kept it off and its a mystery to us all how she did it. I do remember her taking a trip to Mexico with her husband tho and while I put 2 and 2 together, my buddy has not.. My friend constantly brings it up (jealousy) and I think I now know her sister's secret! I love all of the mystery and intrigue. ok so I am a knucklehead but I am looking at it all as an adventure and I am the star!