In spite of 30 + pounds gone...I miss the joy of food

[MiMiCeeBee]

My band/sleeve resection was done March 27 so I am out almost 7 weeks. I am below 200, my first goal. My next goal is to be overweight, not obese. Then my goal is 150. I have followed all the dietary restrictions. I have lost the weight. But I have also lost the joy of food and the pleasure of eating. Dining out can be disappointing. I immediately ask for a box and leftovers take 2 days to eat. The ghrelin is gone and so is most of my appetite. I no longer crave chocolate. I actually don't crave anything. I get this thick feeling in my throat (esophagus) pretty much all the time. I have had a cold and strep since my surgery. I am scheduled for a dental implant in a few weeks (several stages starting with a sinus lift). No problem...I hardly eat anyway so when is eat soft food after that procedure it will be nothing new.

I used to like to cook and bake. What's the point now? I eat like a bird. Not sure how Memorial day is going to go. I love(d) burgers on the grill. I can barely eat half a slider now. I like how I look but not how I feel. Will I ever even eat a small plate of food at one time, or more than 1 course at a meal? If I eat a salad I can't eat an entree. If I skip the salad I can eat 5-6 small bites of an entree. I don't eat desserts at all. I drink tea and juice. Tried a few sips of Coke. Lost a taste for that too.

How are other sleevers doing at 6 weeks or more out? BTW my band was herniated so that was also removed. Has it changed my esophagus? Is it narrower?

I am happy that I no longer wake up at 3 in the morning to pee. That urge is gone. I can cross my legs. I wear a 16, and soon a 14. These things make me happy. But food will never be the same. Eating is just something I do to survive now.

[luke]

Never say never!

I'm not sure this will work for everyone but here's how I've worked around being frustrated with eating.

I find myself trying to have the BEST food I can since I only get to eat a tiny bit. So when we make burgers, I make sure to season it well and sear it extra hot and find the freshest tomato and buy small jars of the best mustard and toppings I can find. I do it up on the plate like a fancy work of art and I take the smallest bites I can to make it last.

My lunch was basically a third of a bagel with ham and cheese, but this morning I toasted the bagel facedown in a pan with a bit of butter and then pushed the toasted bagels pieces into the pan after dropping about an ounce of really nice imported swiss into the pan. It melted and crisped the cheese and glued it to the bagel. Then I turned up the heat and seared three slices of a nice deli-ham and laid those on the crispy cheese-toasted bagel. Add some shaved onion and a crisp lettuce leaf and pack it up in my lunchbox.

So from one point of view I had 1/3 of a boring ham and cheese bagel with a bit of onion and lettuce for lunch. Maybe about 6 ounces of food total.

But from *my* perspective I had a fantastically crispy, savory juicy sammich that made me happy and full!

You could try that approach maybe?

[heytharr]

I know how you feel. I loved baking too, and now I stopped entirely. My parents + siblings feel bad for me everytime we go out to eat. The fact that I also lost interest in most of my favorite food sort of makes them feel worse. But, when I think about what good this operation has done for me, and what it will do for me in the future, I don't mind losing that bit of joy at all. I have a whole lot of other things I can be happy for But trust me, your appetite will come back soon enough. I only got mine back (but not entirely) after 2 months out from surgery.

[MiMiCeeBee]

I try to focus on other things like exercise, arts and crafts, family, friends and other activities. Food is about 10th on my list. I have a daughter who is trying to start a family and i focus on that a lot. i have 2 grandsons from my other daughter who keep me busy. But there's no denying that food is a part of every day's routine. Or the lack of it. Thanks for the cooking tips. But I pretty much avoid the kitchen

[luke]

Mourning food is also a part of the process. We're here if you need us.

[brooklyn_mom]

Never say never!

I'm not sure this will work for everyone but here's how I've worked around being frustrated with eating.

I find myself trying to have the BEST food I can since I only get to eat a tiny bit. So when we make burgers, I make sure to season it well and sear it extra hot and find the freshest tomato and buy small jars of the best mustard and toppings I can find. I do it up on the plate like a fancy work of art and I take the smallest bites I can to make it last.

My lunch was basically a third of a bagel with ham and cheese, but this morning I toasted the bagel facedown in a pan with a bit of butter and then pushed the toasted bagels pieces into the pan after dropping about an ounce of really nice imported swiss into the pan. It melted and crisped the cheese and glued it to the bagel. Then I turned up the heat and seared three slices of a nice deli-ham and laid those on the crispy cheese-toasted bagel. Add some shaved onion and a crisp lettuce leaf and pack it up in my lunchbox.

So from one point of view I had 1/3 of a boring ham and cheese bagel with a bit of onion and lettuce for lunch. Maybe about 6 ounces of food total.

But from *my* perspective I had a fantastically crispy, savory juicy sammich that made me happy and full!

You could try that approach maybe?

Great approach! I am still on full liquids but I hope I have a similar experience as you. I love to cook and shop at nice grocery stores.

[Dee Leshuz]

Most people do gain some of their appetite back. Check back w/ us in 6 months to a year, you're at the very beginning. Just try to note the changes instead of freaking out and thinking that they're permanent. Think of the positives rather than the negatives...try meditating, church, gardening, something positive that you enjoy doing. You have a lot more time now that you're not thinking of food-fill it w/ something fun if you can.

ETA

FWIW I'd love to have your problem. My appetite came back gradually after a week post op and now at a year+ out it's about the same as it was pre op. The only difference is how much volume I can eat. Grehlin does and does not go away for some people.

[MiMiCeeBee]

I am involved in church, Red Hat, retired teacher groups, bowling, Zumba, and much more. But it sma inv how many of my activities at some point involve food. Luncheons for instance. Bus trips too. I'm dealing with it the best I can.

[Dee Leshuz]

Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? Were you self pay or insurance? If the latter, were there any WLS groups and/or therapy services available?

[lilco4]

Luke, I love your approach and will keep it in mind for myself down the road. Thank you!

[mskitti]

I've not gained back my appetite but I'm good with that, food should be something to keep you alive an nourished. Do I miss it? Sure do! Am I still addicted to food? Sure am.....but now I have the choice, I can choose to eat crappy food and give myself a heart attack, or I can fill myself with the good stuff, stave off the type 2 diabeties and not have high cholesterol. I miss the joy of food, but the pay off is a huge upside, and it will get better. Every time I smell something or watch others I just want to cry, but I've come such a long way and I don't want to go back, so for me the pay load is being healthy and being able to shop in the normal clothes shop like others, and not have to hide the size I'm carrying to the checkout. I watched a girl struggle into a winter coat the other day at Kmart, so obviously to small for her despite being in the larger seized area and kept thinking, omg! That was me 12 months ago and I'm not going back! Mourn the food but be happy that you have this great tool. Your doing really well, keep it up! Your stronger than you know.

[babypom]

Im with Luke and his logic, I am still having major problems with food intake. Some days are fine and over two months out, and a meal for me is about three ounces maximum. A piece of deli turkey and half a cheese stick and I am done. Other days everything I put in my mouth comes right back up, it gets frustrating. However I am learning to expand my horizons, slow but sure. Tonight I tried my first spinach salad, about a quarter of a small bowl, and it was all I could eat, but I have missed salads badly. I strongly believe in the "quality vs quantity" though. For mothers day my husband took me out for dinner...silly I know, but we thought a trial before we go on vacation may be a good thing. Hubby took me to the best place in town for prime rib, its the softest steak we could think of...LOL We sat, we order calimari to share, and hubby ordered the prime rib and baked potato. I ordered a small plate and water. I ate two little pieces of calimari, and when hubby got his steak, he sliced me off about a two ounce piece of the leanest meat, and I got a spoon of his baked potato. Did I feel wierd?...not really, I had everything I wanted. Did the waiter look funny at me? Nope, he didnt care what I ate. Did people around us stare? I honestly dont know, nor do I care, I was enjoying an evening out with my hubby. It takes me forever to eat, so the tiny portions dont bother me. I dont eat and then sit and watch others till they finish, I pace myself to be eating through a meal with people. A lot of events center around food, its just our culture, dont let food stop you from enjoying yourself. Life is good even without piling a plate full, then stuffing it in till we want to burst. I think it is more than socialy acceptable to nibble at events which include food, and listen to people tell us how great we look with the weight loss...LOL

[sleave31st]

I absolutely agree with Luke- damn I was getting hungry reading it I am one of the ones that def got her appetite back- its kinda annoying because I want to eat and it causes me to munch. But if I try and eat to much of an actual meal I get myself in trouble. About 2 months post op I experience major depression- I regretted what I did and the whole thing gave me major anxiety. I reached out to my dr and we discussed it and I got on meds. They really helped and now I am off and doing just fine. Dont be alone in this- we are here and there are many great resources out there to help you.

[brooklyn_mom]

I was sleeved 8 days ago so I am still on full liquids. I have noticed the last couple days I love the smell of foods and I am enjoying cooking/preparing for my daughter. I also teach a cooking class in her preschool and am making healthy pina colada smoothies for their luau party today. I am hoping this means I will be one of the ones who still enjoys food! I truly love to cook/read about food/etc so I hope that isn't gone. Time will tell.