Why don't sleevers follow their diet plan???

**CidCherise** · 08-12-2013 06:25 PM

Off topic, but I have to say, I LOVE the clapping video above. Bravo! Here's to all us losers!!

**donrodolfo** · 08-13-2013 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by bergamini

Nobody is asking anyone to enable any bad behaviors. But "telling it like it is" or providing judgment that is not supportive generally doesn't produce good results and only results in hurt feelings. I find speaking in a "my" tone helps. Instead of saying "don't eat a candy bar you idiot", you can say "when I was 1 week out I found that putting honey in and salt on top of caramel flavored yogurt helped satisfy my craving for sweets without risk of damage to my sleeve."

You don't speak for everybody - what I said happens on this board as well as other weight loss surgery boards FREQUENTLY.

My idea of not being supportive - skipping over your thread whining that you had a cheeseburger one week postop. If I didn't care I wouldn't have commented on it in the first place. For the record, you won't find a post from me calling someone an idiot here or anywhere else.

Block me if you don't like what I post.

**secondoldest** · 08-13-2013 02:06 PM

Fantastic weight loss way to go Lisa

**kschuster108** · 08-13-2013 02:22 PM

OMG............nobody has a right to judge "Why people are eating things that are not on the doctor's list" I'm reading all these post of how people do not understand why someone eats solid foods 1 wk post op. Let's remind ourselves everyone is different and there are many factors involved including doctor, mental wellness, will, etc..........

I can go on and on but............

Anyway, I eat what ever I want (can't eat much of it). I have been doing this since 3 wks post ops. I have lost 33 pounds in the first 40 days. so judge that!

**bergamini** · 08-13-2013 02:52 PM

Don, I never said I speak for everybody. I summarized what has worked on this board based upon my much longer membership to it. It used to be a much more friendly and supportive board (I'm watching old-timers drop out like flies these days and many people only post in their daily check-in threads because of the hostilities). We had some "tell it like it is" people, which is really just a cop out for people to be rude, hiding behind their computers, instead of being sympathetically honest, a few coordinator battles and an otherwise sort of degradation of the support. I wouldn't have made it through my early days without this board and I try to share my experience, strength and hope with new people. It is just disappointing to see relative newcomers just waiting to "tell it like it is" instead of being more thoughtful about how they can support their fellow sleevers. It is easy to judge, it is more difficult to thoughtfully, and constructively, provide options to someone who might have lost hope or is making really bad choices. I shared a thoughtful post, based upon my nearly year of experience on this board and 9 months of post-op life, about how we can still be honest and helpful by using empathy to assist people and the summary of your response is "tough, if you don't like it, block me." I never pointed to any of your posts specifically, and nobody has ever posted that they ate a cheeseburger the first week. None of us could! Sheesh, I'm sorry I tried to have a thoughtful discussion on why being polite and supportive is more likely to be successful.

**donrodolfo** · 08-13-2013 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by bergamini

Don, I never said I speak for everybody. I summarized what has worked on this board based upon my much longer membership to it. It used to be a much more friendly and supportive board (I'm watching old-timers drop out like flies these days and many people only post in their daily check-in threads because of the hostilities). We had some "tell it like it is" people, which is really just a cop out for people to be rude, hiding behind their computers, instead of being sympathetically honest, a few coordinator battles and an otherwise sort of degradation of the support. I wouldn't have made it through my early days without this board and I try to share my experience, strength and hope with new people. It is just disappointing to see relative newcomers just waiting to "tell it like it is" instead of being more thoughtful about how they can support their fellow sleevers. It is easy to judge, it is more difficult to thoughtfully, and constructively, provide options to someone who might have lost hope or is making really bad choices. I shared a thoughtful post, based upon my nearly year of experience on this board and 9 months of post-op life, about how we can still be honest and helpful by using empathy to assist people and the summary of your response is "tough, if you don't like it, block me." I never pointed to any of your posts specifically, and nobody has ever posted that they ate a cheeseburger the first week. None of us could! Sheesh, I'm sorry I tried to have a thoughtful discussion on why being polite and supportive is more likely to be successful.

I get it - you have been sleeved longer and you have been on this board longer than I have. I respect vets in both instances. If you were to see my posts on another board I frequent you would see how i am - I am USUALLY uplifting and supportive to people. Every once in awhile people need a swift kick in the behind - I won't speak for you but I know I've needed it in the past and was blessed to have people give it. I'm confident you know the kind of people i'm talking about when i mentioned people who want validation for bad behavior. They probably exist here too. And yes, I fully understand the difference between showing someone "tough love" and berating them. Also, i understand about the unnecessary hostility as it happens at that other board WAY to often and not for good reasons.

You and I probably agree on more than we disagree.

**luke** · 08-13-2013 07:21 PM

Am I a bad person for not reading this entire thread? I tried but it's so full of *grumpy* and *frustration* that I can't bring myself to digest it all...doesn't fit in my mental stomach. :P

Sorry.

**CidCherise** · 08-13-2013 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by luke

Am I a bad person for not reading this entire thread? I tried but it's so full of *grumpy* and *frustration* that I can't bring myself to digest it all...doesn't fit in my mental stomach. :P

Sorry.

First, let me say you are looking dashing!

Second, I tried to lighten the mood by "liking" and mentioning how much I liked the "clapping" clip. Love that you weighed in (haha, I love double entendres!). Your posts always make me smirk and smile!