A post from a long-time veteran

[dale]

Hi, everyone! I haven't posted in a long time, but I have been reading lots of posts and replying when I thought I could offer some encouragement or insight.

I thought it might be helpful to some of you who are relatively new to the process to see what life is like for someone who is getting close to two years post-surgery. I had my surgery May 2, 2011, so it has been 21 months for me.

I had so much weight to lose when I started, and it came off pretty quickly the first 6 months. I had very few issues during that time, just a little dehydration a few weeks after my surgery because I was lax about drinking my water. When I realized what I had done to myself, I said, "DUH!!!" and got back on track with the water, and haven't had any problems with that since. Like most people, I had some pretty significant hair loss around 4 months, but I and my hairdresser jumped on it and took care of it, too.

So, here I am, 21 months post- surgery, and still a long way from my goal. I got discouraged seeing so many people who reached their goal weight so quickly. Still, very few of you had as much weight to lose as I did. Also, one good thing is that I haven't gained it back (and the way I had been eating lately, I sure could have!) You were probably much better than I was about what and how much you ate, too. I keep telling myself that I will get there, and not to be worried about it coming off so slowly now, but I know deep- down that I am not "working the sleeve" as I should, or I would be much further along than I am.

The first year, I was really good about keeping track of what I ate. As time went by, I could eat a little more, but I was still losing, just not so quickly. A year ago, I joined the Y and started working out with weights and water aerobics. My weight loss slowed down, but I knew I was putting on muscle, which is denser than fat, so I wasn't too concerned. I think I allowed myself to become pretty complacent with that, and so I was eating more and more. It doesn't help, I have recently realized, that My Fitness Pal lets you have more calories when you exercise, so even though I was logging all my wonderful exercise and my food, I was still increasing what I ate. Then, I stopped tracking the food because it just got to be too tedious.

Please don't get me wrong, I love my sleeve, and I still think it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am so thankful for all the weight I have lost, and the improvement to my health as a result. I love having people who haven't seen me since my surgery tell me how great I look. I love how much better I feel. I have said before, if I never lose another pound, I am still so much better off than I was.

Still, I am not ready to be finished. I am now down to the weight so many others started at. I need more. I need to get to Onederland. So, I have recommitted myself to regular exercise, to tracking and cutting down on my food, to being good to myself, because I want this and I DESERVE THIS!!!

One of the things I have noticed on this forum is that everyone wants to share their successes and even their frustrations, but few share their failures. So, I am sharing mine with you wonderful people in the hope that you can learn from my mistakes. But I also want to say that I have not given up! I will get there someday, with the help of my wonderful family and of you dear people on the forum.

I am sorry this is such a long post, but I just wanted you guys to know what it will be like further down the road. And to tell you what I have learned from the past two years. Mostly, "Never give up! Never surrender!" ((((HUGS))))

[goestogym]

I certainly wouldnt call a 124 pound loss a failure!! Start envisioning yourself at goal. Make a collage white board of magazine clippings of clothes that you can wear, things you can do and maybe even your face on a body you'd like! (I cut out my business card face and put it on Raquel Welch's body)
With me, if I can visualize, I can do it.

[gemini*eyes]

wow.. thank you soooo much for this post.. i wish you the best of luck!! you are right about the failures.. i have been researching sleeve failures and believe there are just as many failures as successes.. ive read where people lost just 15 to 25 pounds in a whole year.. this is total proof it takes hard work and dedication..you are not a failure as you have not gained and you are getting back on track.. i seem to keep losing and gaining the same ten pounds now for a month.. im just three months post op and losing no where near as quick as people on this site.. really i havent lost anything since two months post op.. i feel good though.. and i am getting stronger and healthier with the cardio im doing. post like these make me realize how serious I need to be.. i seem to only lose if I drink protein shakes .. then when i eat i gain a few then drink protein a few days and lose a few.. then eat and gain it again.. this is shit.. i cant possobly live on protein shakes forever.. i got so excited reading all the posts ans seeing u tube videos of successful sleevers... according to all of them i should be down another twenty at this point.. but im not.. i cant consider it a stall if it goes up and down.. its hard work.. i knew in my heart i wasnt gonna be lucky with easy loss.. but i was lucky i had an easy surgery and recovery.. too easy...

[aboutime4me]

I can't see where anything of what you posted about your personal journey is a failure. I am happy you posted this not only for the newbies but for all of us who have been sleeved already, no matter how long ago. This is the reality of life and that's what we're challenged to do...really LIVE with our sleeve for the rest of our lives. I started by saying I don't see your post as an admittance of failure. I think we have to get rid of the words failure from our vocabulary. What you have done is learned how to live and how not to live with your sleeve, to get the ultimate weight loss. I don't accept failure in life. We try things a thousand different ways, we experiment, we fall on our face from time to time but we go on. This is success and you are successful on your journey.
Your glass is "half full" not half empty. Continue on in your commitment and keep us posted on how you're doing. 2013 is your year!

[niamh]

Thanks for sharing - it is really helpful to hear honest accounts of all outcomes, and I hope it does help you to find a new commitment and focus. It's great that you've maintained such a significant weight loss which does wonders for your health and life expectancy, but of course you want to see this thing all the way. Our culture tends to have black and white terms of success/failure good/bad etc; and it can be difficult to hold a view of simultaneous partial achievement and partial disappointment.

There's this great quote from a movie that I watched recently (the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel). A character says "Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right, it's not yet the end".

It's a bit trite in some ways, but it does help to keep a sense of things being an ongoing and organic journey - not a defined start and end point. Well done for choosing to continue on your journey.

[Munchkin]

Thank you for sharing your story. I like your attitude. Many people ask me what is my goal. I always tell them my goal is to not gain the weight back. I was tired of losing weight and gaining it back. You have done that with your sleeve. That is awesome.

[alotofbabyweight]

Appreciate that post.... You worked the sleeve great a while back! You should go back to the Pre op diet!! Basically, the sleeve puts you on a forced starvation diet almost, so just do that without the sleeve!! Great work, good for you for refusing to give up!!!!! Good health and good lyck to you!!

[sleeveinbama]

Thanks for sharing!!!!!! I love you attitude!! You will get there!!!

[BBARB]

Thanks for sharing and i also believe ur story is not one of a failure. This isnt easy ans forost isnt fast. We all know its a life change committment and dealing with slowing the wl as well as trying to live a "normal" life where u do mot log anything u eat or do seems to be part of it is a pig part of this journey. I admire u for sharing for not giving up when the game became hard. It takes a strong mind to be like u and i just hope i will be like u. I alreadys topped logging 2 months ago, i am tired of it. I say to myself i am ok -and probably I am. But some day i ate too little and other too much some day i am good with protein and other not. I hate refilling my pill rack so i skip days here and there. I know i seek normality but we should make this our normal life.
Thanks so much and look forward to ur posts

[Lea]

Thank you for the post. I think you have lost significant amount of weight so congrats. If you are working out you have also adopted a healthier way of life. If you go back to basics I am sure you will see scale go down.....even if it's very slowly.

[MindyMorales]

Thank You for posting but, I cant help but say that your journey has hardly been a failure. Be proud of your accomplishments and look forward to new ones, It will get easier.

[Its_Me]

Thank you for being open and honest, I love hearing from sleevers who are a while out. You can hardly call yourself a failure. Stick around here for a while and we can all encourage each other. Best wishes on your continued journey.

[Scubagecko]

This is certainly not a race its a journey, I know how cliche. You have made such amazing progress and I know you will reach your goals. Thanks for the post it's really inspiring and helpful to hear the stories for those that have so much actual experience than most of us just a few weeks out. keep us posted on your progress.

[leamarieb]

I agree with everyone else - you have definitely not failed at anything with this!! You've lost a lot of weight and maintained that loss and gotten healthier. You may not YET be at your ultimate goal, but that's okay. I've set lots of mini goals, and figure at any of these, I can take a break from losing if I want and practice maintaining. Then when I'm ready, I can lose some more. Keeping it off is far more challenging, and you've done an amazing job at that. Because of other health challenges, my weight loss has been frustratingly slow and mentally I find it far too easy to fall back into my bad habits, but with the restriction the sleeve gives me, I also find it so much easier to get back on track when I am ready, and slowly I am getting healthier and losing weight. I think you've got a great attitude, and it sounds like you are ready to lose some more weight. Just stick with it, and you'll do great, I'm sure!

[marilynlw]

Thanks for posting. We all need to be aware that this is not just a quick fix to our weight problems. But it is the start of a lifetime journey to a healthier way of life. I really enjoyed your post. My daughter is 3 1/2 years out and is still working to lose the final few. She looks fine where she is now but if she every gave up the battle the weight will creep back on. All of us newbees need to know that it does take hard work and commitment to make it to our goal (a healthier life) and to maintain it. Thanks again and never give up!