Rant from an old timer...

[Jewel]

I apologize in advance, but there's some (personal) stuff that I just need to vent about for a minute ~ and this is not for the newbies ~ so here goes.
I don't like what I see. I don't like the way that the person looking back at me in the mirror looks. I don't like the Shar-Pei looking wrinkles across my forehead, the saggy new 'dimples' on my cheeks, the hanging skin under my chin.
I wish I would've had a clue about what would happen to my poor boobs... they used to be the only thing that I could be proud of when I stood naked in front of the mirror, and now... I can't bear to look at myself ~ and it pisses me off. It pisses me off because I chose this. I chose this, so I can't be mad. But I still went from a DD to a pitiful B cup, and it pisses me off anyway.
I have lost more than I wanted to (yay!), but did so SO FAST that my skin stood no chance at keeping up. My torso looks like a have a deflated hot air balloon (with oddly placed nipples) hanging from my shoulders, my sexy round butt has also deflated and now there's skin flaps where my cheeks used to be.. and don't even get me started on my arms or thighs. I FINALLY weigh 135 lbs, but can't wear a skirt or a bathing suit because I look like a 100 year old elephant if I try to show any skin.
I know, I know.. there's always plastic surgery. But at $14,000 (to start)... not something that is possible for me. I would love to, but the foreclosure Gods have won that battle. I have to keep a roof over our heads, and that's more important than what I look like. But it's SO much deeper than what I 'look' like, and no one seems to be able to understand that. That pisses me off.
On a positive note, my hubby loves me unconditionally and really is enjoying his new wife... that makes me happy. I wish I could see what he does and stop critiquing everything about myself, but I don't know how to. And that pisses me off too.

Apparently, I'm bound to be aggravated today.. but am feeling better ~ being able to unload some of this to people that might understand how I feel is a good thing.
So now, I would feel a lot better if this post turned into a group rant ~ so I know I'm not alone, wallowing in my own selfish pissed-off-ness. lol

Thanks for letting me rant - <3

[becca72]

It is true, we are our own worst critics...I hate to admit, but I giggled a little bit when I was reading your post, not making light of how you are feeling, but knowing that this could SO be me writing this.
Just letting you know that are not alone in feeling this way, and it is MOST likely you being way too harsh on yourself. I look at your picture and I see a very beautiful woman, no sign of Shar-Pei in sight.
My surgeon did stress that we need to be patient with our bodies to play catch up with the amount of weight we have lost in such a short amount of time.

[jknox65]

Well When I had, the Hotties look at me in my younger day and laugh I always informed them eventually gravity will take its toll. It is true whether they were skinny or rotund. The reality is this. Real men do nto see the skin but what is within. Sounds like your husband is a real man. I too have had to battle the foreclosure and can understand how life’s battles make it challenging to take on such debt when life it’s self is challenging enough.
But at 135 you can expect to see and hug your grandchildren one day and live a much longer happy life far beyond the expectations you one had. With or without perky boobs!

[Jewel]

I'm happy to hear that you giggled ~ what else can ya do? We have to laugh off the things that we can't change, and that only WE understand

It is true, we are our own worst critics...I hate to admit, but I giggled a little bit when I was reading your post, not making light of how you are feeling, but knowing that this could SO be me writing this.
Just letting you know that are not alone in feeling this way, and it is MOST likely you being way too harsh on yourself. I look at your picture and I see a very beautiful woman, no sign of Shar-Pei in sight.
My surgeon did stress that we need to be patient with our bodies to play catch up with the amount of weight we have lost in such a short amount of time.

[Bluegirlinredstate]

Newly sleeved so can't empathize yet. But I did want to weigh in that in your profile picture your arms are FABULOUS. I aspire to have arms that look like that!

[Jewel]

LOL.. you know that my pic was seriously posed.. it was also about 20 lbs ago. That last 20 lbs changed alot! But like James was kind enough to point out.. I'm just going to start looking forward to grandbabies. They won't care if Nana has flabby arms or perky boobs. I can't wait to meet them ~ 10 YEARS from now! lol

[Lucy61]

As a rant the other day pointed out... her boobs now look like two mud flaps. I mentioned that to my husband it's what to expect and he said at least they will be his mud flaps Yea maybe down the road (because we now have a longer life time ahead of us), we can all start thinking of our 5+ year goals - that we can save up for those bolt on boobs, but like you, we are battling of the bills too, so today, its not a reality, but maybe down the road some day.

[scgal21]

I could have written your post! It is such mixed emotions to have lost the weight but the ravages of obesity has left it's ugly mark on me. Plastic surgery isn't in the cards for me any time soon either, so I try to remind myself how much better off I am from a year ago. Thanks for posting this and know you are not alone. I'm sure there are many, many of us who feel the same way! You are beautiful and you are a true inspiration.

[Dee Leshuz]

Wow, so 20 lbs. can make that big a difference? I'm 20+ lbs. from goal and while I'm saggy in some places (mostly from losing and gaining weight all of my life, not just the sleeve) it's not as bad as many pics I've seen for PS makeovers before/afters.

Maybe I'll just lose the rest of the weight really slow...I do that anyway with my majorly slow metabolism...3-5 lbs. a month is all my body can do since my ability to exercise is also limited.

[ACE]

You are so NOT alone in this I struggle every day when I take off my clothes and i see the skin and the boobs that used to be one of my "proud" things about me. The body image issue can be hard because we tend to be so hard on ourselves. When it comes down to it it can be frustrating and upsetting but I am happy to be a skin bag since i can move around now and I can play with my kids more now. The skin is not jut a mental thing for me because when i try to exercise I am flopping all over the place if i don't wear something to hold it all in but all in all its not that bad I get discouraged when i look down and see that flap of skin and fat that hangs from my belly. I cant afford the $14,000 right now but I am hopeful by the end of next year there will be a way to afford it in 2014 somehow and hopefully by then I will have less skin to be removed. And I also have to say I didn't think it possible but I actually know a few men who like saggy stretched out boobs (too many years milking goats I think lol) Keep your head up and remember there are so many other things to look forward to now that the weight is gone, the skin is just a side effect

[bookwrmmom]

Ahhhh the boobs.....are always the first thing to go for me. I tell my hubby that if he has a problem with my mudflaps than he can purchase me a new set That quickly shuts down the comments about them disappearing! As for the rest, well since I am only 6 months post-op I will have to see what things look like once my skin has time to adjust. I am pretty sure the batwings will still be there, but so far my belly isn't awful (it ain't great either). I will always have a pooch, just not sure how far it will hang Sure I am vain enough to want to fix it, but unless I run into a pile of money it is not likely to happen. If I had to choose a tummy tuck or a boob job, I will take the tummy tuck (I am sure my hubby will disagree) any day!
On the positive side I am really starting to like how I look in my clothes! As for the facial wrinkles....they suck, but I know part of that is because I just turned 43 years old. When I look at my friends who are my age I am seeing the same signs so I know it is only partly due to the weight loss.

[niamh]

I am starting to notice some changes only this far in, so there's gonna be more. Then again, I have a number of friends who don't have weight problems, but had their 2 or 3 children in late thirties and they now have saggy boobs and very stretched bellies that don't look like pinging back into place. Maybe with being in my forties I'd already started adjusting to the idea of getting saggy. I'm also lucky enough to have a real man as a husband, just loves me no matter what.

I don't know whether or not I'll have PS - I'm not in general particularly focused on my physical appearance (often don't wear make up to work, don't spend much dosh on clothes etc), and I have pretty feminist views as well. I didn't have WLS surgery because of wanting to look different, I had surgery to get healthy. On the other hand, I find my belly overhanging uncomfortable, so that would probably be something I would consider from a physical comfort point of view. But then I do know I've thought for a long time that I'd quite like to get a neck lift and that is a pure vanity thing. Oh I'm quite the hypocrite!

We're all gonna get old and wrinkly anyway (certainly older and wrinklier than when we were heading for an early grave with obesity). Like you say, the speed of the weight loss makes it hard to mentally adjust - but we're gonna have to do it due to the passage of time anyway.

But finally Jewel, the best thing about your photo is the warmth of your smile.

[marilynlw]

You are young and beautiful and a little excess skin may bother you but I am willing to bet you are beautiful to your hubby. Be glad you are not like me. I'm old 64 and my highest weight was 440. I have so much more to lose and I already have bat wings like you wont believe. My daughter and I were in the mall the other day and got separated. I called to her, held up my arm and waved it her. My bat wing slapped my in the face. That would have PISSED ME OFF if we hadn't been laughing about it. Just imagine what it will be like 150 pounds from now. I'll have to be careful I don't smother myself.
It's OK to vent here all you want and you do not look like a Shar-Pei.

[LealScott]

Oh I hear you! Even 4 months out and I can see facial differences. And do not start me on the arms and inner thighs. I do water aerobics at the Y each day and finally bought a pair of workout pants so I can start learning about machines that might help with my tummy, arms and thighs. I know nothing and have to be duper careful of my back. But I refuse to think that this is as good as it's going to get. As others have said, you are beautiful and have a loving husband. Maybe exercising will help? Either way, enjoy being healthy and thank God that you don't live in a nudist colony. I know I am grateful.

[Jewel]

You are young and beautiful and a little excess skin may bother you but I am willing to bet you are beautiful to your hubby. Be glad you are not like me. I'm old 64 and my highest weight was 440. I have so much more to lose and I already have bat wings like you wont believe. My daughter and I were in the mall the other day and got separated. I called to her, held up my arm and waved it her. My bat wing slapped my in the face. That would have PISSED ME OFF if we hadn't been laughing about it. Just imagine what it will be like 150 pounds from now. I'll have to be careful I don't smother myself.
It's OK to vent here all you want and you do not look like a Shar-Pei.

THIS.. made me spit my coffee across the table... lolol..
that's awesome ~ thank you for the giggle