Coversation with A Hard Roll

[Bilsen]

Hi all,

I'll start by saying that I hold to 95% of the program and actually don't mind the new lifestyle. At 17 weeks post I'm down 75 pounds, 15 year old suits hang off me like a clothesline, my dress shirts make me look like Batman in white and stuff I bought 3 weeks ago is not long for my world.
Diabetes is GONE and I'm down to 4 meds from 10 with Liptor cut in half and blood pressure so low that the world occasionally takes a spin when I get out of a chair.

With that all said, I am one of those heretical characters who does not believe that the rest of my life is one of total deprivation. If I have a craving for pizza or ice cream or popcorn I go with it albeit in portions that more suit Tom Thumb than my former self.

This morning I bought a New York staple diet item, a hard roll with butter. An example of my new life and education is my discussion with it as it has sat on my desk all day unopened:

Me: Hi roll. You're looking really good today.

Roll: Damn straight. We haven't been together in 2 weeks and it's about time.

Me: Well if I take my time I could get all of you down by the end of the day;

Roll: Well do it man, it's getting hot in this cellophane wrapper.

Me: Except that you would use up 60% of my allowable carbs for the day all by yourself and won't contribute to my energy level or lessen my hair thinning. I think I'll pass but you sit there quietly as a test of strength.

Roll: Wimp.

So there's the major change in my thinking. I'll eat whatever I want BUT I'm always balancing my food budget and thinking about what that roll will cost me. That forces me to decide whether I REALLY REALLY REALLY want whatever it is and a lot of the time I don't.

HMMMMM -- If only we could teach the monkeys in Washington about that concept. Maybe we should make the Sleeve a requirement for election.

[kbunkers]

Superb prose, sleeve brothah! Congrats on all the former "tent" clothes being loose; I plan to increase my charitable giving in the clothing department as well!

[Franlb]

LOVE IT !!!!!! Congrats, love your humor and attitude.

Fran

[Bilsen]

Thanks ladies.

By the way, does anyone know the scientific term for a group of baboons?

TICK...TICK...TICK

Wait for it

TICK...TICK...TICK

Answer: A CONGRESS

Explains a lot.

[bookwrmmom]

LMAO!! You are too funny & also correct! I also have conversations (silently of course) with food. I also am constantly thinking of my food "budget" for the day. I find myself wanting things, than looking at the carb content and saying "hell no!" I do have tiny amounts once in a great while of the things I like, but it is rare & I LOG it! That is the important thing, we can lie to everyone else but not to ourselves!

[jazziejasmine]

Loved this post! Made me laugh out loud at my office desk!

[Christine Heusinger]

I was really hoping that once I've had my surgery (not even scheduled yet) I won't even THINK of food anymore. When I was doing Adkins and then Weight Watchers and then every diet you can imagine--ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS FOOD.

After surgery am I still going to have to obsess on food?

CH

[Bilsen]

I wouldn't call it obsess Christine but to think you'll end up as some magical robot may be setting the bar too high.

There are days I could easily forget to eat, days I remember but don't want to and days when I get the odd craving but, rather than being the gastric equivalent of Prozec (thus removing ALL desire of a different sort) think of the sleeve as allowing you better control of the same person that is you.

Just a guess but I think you'll be happier post op if your expectations are more realistic going in. The sleeve is gonna help you but it ain't gonna do it for you.

[Trustin Sleever]

I discussed these same issues with Ben and Jerry last week.

[Christine Heusinger]

You were able to have some Ben and Jerry? That means there is LIFE after the sleeve and not just a heartbeat!!

[Trustin Sleever]

You were able to have some Ben and Jerry? That means there is LIFE after the sleeve and not just a heartbeat!!

Why, yes... after all, it is a "mushy", right?
And so is apple pie filling?

[Hazelnut]

Oh how funny! I have a rack of chocolate candy bars near my work station. They are for sale so I can not move them. Those bars chat to me all day. "come on baby you know how good I am" ; "I am smelling especially good and chocolatly for you" ; " just wait until you see my nuts" ; " I'm dripping with Carmel just for you". Oh ya, food porn exists even for those with the sleeve. Big difference now though... So easy to ignore it!

[Grace]

Funny stuff Bilsen! You're very witty
My nemesis is pasta. Having meatballs without vermicelli is just not the same experience.

[Bilsen]

Thanks Grace. Actually, if you talk to my wife she'll tell you I'm only half witty.