I See Fat People

[OOOWEEBABY!]

Everywhere I go, I see obese people and they look so miserable and sad. Have I suddenly become more fat concious I just don't remember seeing all these poor miserable people before my surgery.

I see them struggling down the sidewalks, heaving themselves in and out of cars, panting up the stairs... Wearing ugly clothes that are in colors and patterns that make me want to go postal on the designers. I see them trying to blend in with the surroundings with that "please don't look at me " apologetic body language.

My heart aches for these pitiful people. I want to tell them what I did and that it is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I would never ever want to offend or hurt someone's feelings. I keep my heartfelt thoughts to myself.

Have you also become more obestity aware? What do you do?

[barrbdoll]

YESSS!!!! I definitely notice it much more now and like you, my heart aches for them. I just want to run up to them and tell them that I can help BUT....as we are all aware, weight is a very sensitive issue and it's a hard position to be in. I am definitely an advocate of this surgery and when given the chance I tell my story BUT.. It took me 7 years.... to make the decision to have WLS... So, while we are empathetic to everyone's struggle we have to be careful not to overstep and give unwanted advice.... It's definitely a touchy situation.....

[Rancescafay]

I've always been aware....we will see if it increases after surgery. I do know I had a 16 year old patient so obese and she was on blood pressure meds...2 of them!!! My heart just broke for her and I wanted to give her my surgery

[becca72]

I have become the same way...
Although personally, I would have appreciated someone letting me in on the secret sleeve society WAY before I was actually allowed in...I have found it easier and less invasive to comment or give unsolicited advice, as well meaning as you may intend to be. It may just wind up causing undue hurt and embarrassment on the intended...

[xxtac66]

I noticed the very same thing recently. I really have more empathy for obese people and their struggles because I have been in the same shoes. I have hope now, even though I am still obese, but my life is changing daily. I heart truly aches for them.

[CuirousGeorge]

I know I am new to this journey (wk 9) and I see fat people also, in my mirror, within my family. I am still brain registering in that group. Do I feel sorry for myself NO WAY, but do I wish I could melt into the woodwork and be invisible sometimes you bet. I think statistically there are more obese people in the U.S. than in the past. I remember being an oddity as a kid (1980s) and one of 2 "FAT" girls in my class of over 300 students. At that point I was about 20-25 lbs overweight and was seen/ felt I was whale-like. I don't know if we see more because we are more aware......or if we see more because there are actually more people in the obese category.

[hnybun128]

OMG, yes! I have this urge to tell all of them about my sleeve and how they don't need to suffer for the rest of their lives! Of course, I control myself and just talk about the weight loss if asked...

[workinprogress40]

WOW!!! I THINK THAT EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED EXCEPT FOR BECCA, COULD STILL BE CONSIDERED OBEase, I think it is too soon for some of us to say that you feel sorry for a fat person,and to say that all fat people are sad and miserable you are being judgemental.I think this should be a humbling experience, I know for me it will be.

[becca72]

I really don't think that anyone is being intentionally judgmental...just saying how much more observant they seem to be now.
But you are right...not everyone who is obese is miserable. I have a family member, GORGEOUS, btw..she is super happy, and SMO. She OWNS that shit and is a very strong advocate for the MO.

[hnybun128]

WOW!!! I THINK THAT EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED EXCEPT FOR BECCA, COULD STILL BE CONSIDERED OBEase, I think it is too soon for some of us to say that you feel sorry for a fat person,and to say that all fat people are sad and miserable you are being judgemental.I think this should be a humbling experience, I know for me it will be.

I don't think it's being judgmental, nor do I see that anyone said that all fat people are sad and miserable. My guess is that you may have misinterpreted posters' intentions. I can only speak for me personally, but I feel that I know how I've suffered and if there is any chance I can help spare someone a little pain, I'm going to help them. I've never actually given my opinion to anyone about weight loss unless they ask me. And I do think we are all capable of recognizing when someone is acting in the same manner we have. We may all still be obese, but the difference is that we all now have hope.

[barrbdoll]

WOW!!! I THINK THAT EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED EXCEPT FOR BECCA, COULD STILL BE CONSIDERED OBEase, I think it is too soon for some of us to say that you feel sorry for a fat person,and to say that all fat people are sad and miserable you are being judgemental.I think this should be a humbling experience, I know for me it will be.

Our stories are allllll different and yes... having this surgery is definitely a humbling experience... Even at my highest weight of 332 lbs I was STILL HAPPY and VERY CONFIDENT!! It took my a loooooong time to make the decision to have this surgery because of how "comfortable" I was in my own skin! Regardless... when you go through this transformation.... (you haven't yet) you can't help but become more aware of others and how people are treated... I commanded respect and got it at 332 lbs and still do today...4 months after surgery and 80lbs lighter.... No one is being judgmental here.... None of us have the right to judge others..... including yourself!

[Wandy44]

Wow, I thought it was just me.

[OOOWEEBABY!]

Workinprogress, I am just stating what I have observed and how I felt about it in the past week. I did not see a single happy-looking fat person, and my heart went out to them. I have tremendous empathy for the obese. Yes, I know that I am still quite fat. The difference is that I am making a positive change in my life. I do not intend to be rude or callous to anyone. It is very true that I am noticing more obese people than I did pre-sleeve and I wondered if other sleevers had the same experience. Kind of like when you get a new car and suddenly, you see the model car you just bought all over the place. If I have offended you, please accept my apology. That was not my intention.

[Island Girl]

I have always been aware of other obese people around me. When I see someone who is overweight, I makes me wonder about their journey...if they have always struggled with weight issues..have they had a traumatic or stressful event that caused weight gain or are they just a victim of poor nutrition and lack of exercise. I will always feel an unspoken understanding with someone who is overweight....no matter how thin I become.

There will always be a piece of a "fat" person inside of me...the part that won't let me forget how it felt to be overweight and a part that will keep me motivated to permanantly change my lifestyle.

[Gayle]

This really struck a chord with me. I am not so much noticing "fat" people, but rather I am seeing unhealthy people and I desperately want to intervene. I was urged to talk to one man at school and I did so -- honestly, bluntly, no punches pulled. He looks as if he will not make it through the school year. He has a huge beach ball belly (like me), diabetes (like me), has a horrible pasty complexion (like I used to). I talk to him honestly about what I had chosen to do and why. I discussed the surgery and the research so far on its effects. I then had him commit to make an appt with my surgeon, then we conference called to make an appt for him -- it is tomorrow. Would I do that for someone I did not know at all? I sincerely doubt it. But, I must say that if I really thought that someone's life was is near term danger, I would bring up the subject of my surgery and what it has done for me.
For someone overweight and healthy? Never.
Hugs