Discouragement..

[buddyd11]

Yesterday I actually wore a pair of cargo type shorts that were a size 34. They fit me almost perfectly!!! so why do I feel so fat when I look in the mirror? My wife makes snide remarks when I say how I feel fat and I guess Im supposed to be just quiet about it. I should be so happy being so close to Onederland.

[Luvs2lose]

Its hard after seeing yourself over the years as an overweight person to get past that. I think what you are experiencing is quite common. You arent yet used to seeing yourself in your new body. Its hard for people (like your wife) to understand how you can still think you look overweight. Be patient with yourself and keep reminding yourself that the new body you have is NOT fat. Eventually you will get used to how you look now and it will become your "new normal". You're doing great!!

C~

[Gwyn]

I know the feeling. I haven't gotten close to onederland yet, but I've lost 70 pounds and people comment on it all the time. I'm at a point where my second wardrobe is now getting too big. Obviously it shows that I've lost weight. ..but when I look in the mirror or see a picture of myself, I still see the 300 pound me. I was chatting on Yahoo with a friend of mine last night and she insisted that I send a picture, so I took one with my phone (even though it was quite hideous lol) and sent it. She said WOW!!!! But when I looked at the picture I saw the same old me.

One of the topics in a support group meeting I attended recently discussed body image and how it may take a long time before we actually see the real us. It's the same disorder that causes people who are anorexic to only see fat. Their brain is programmed to see the worst possible image of themselves. It's a mental leap that we will probably all struggle with and have to overcome. I think recognizing that what you see in the mirror isn't always reality is a good first step. I also think that it's difficult for other people, who haven't been there, to fully understand what you're going through. That could account for some of your wife's feelings. Good luck,and we're always here for you!

[tyler]

Have you ever been to those side shows where they have those mirrors that distort you body image I went to one and stood there for ages looking at how I would look like being thin it just didnt register, but when I looked at the fat image I new it was me, so strange.

[Cattitude]

It's so hard getting rid of our "fat eyes" as I like to call it. Years ago when I lost a lot of weight and was fitting in a juniors size 9 I STILL felt huge. It's just our own insecurities creeping out. Size 34 waist is AWESOME!

[scgal21]

Gwyn made a good point also...I don't think people that haven't walked in our shoes and felt what we feel to fully understand. This is a process that is going to take some time to adjust to...at least for some of us. I agree with Tana....34 waist is AWESOME!! Stay positive Buddy, you've done a phenomenal job so far and I have no doubt that you will get to your goal.

[Lea]

congrats buddy, first of all
and to all of u! lol, you know whats funny? I don't see myself as fat as I am, still astounded when I see a picture of myself, and I am like, what????? wow,I didnt think I was so fat!!! so weird, isnt it?

[RNLMH]

Lea I am the same way!!!! Every picture still surprises me...WTW! And Buddyd11, You are looking amazind and I cant even see you Believe it!

[ShellBell33081]

I am so proud of you! talk to your wife and ask her to be more supportive. do you attend a support group? maybe she could go or if you don't have her read some of the posts on here and maybe she would be more understanding. you look awesome!! congrats on your success!!

[Princess Fiona]

I saw on TV they made a lady stand next to women her size.. she was absolutely sure she was double their seize but she wasn't. When she looked at them.. knowing she was the same she started crying. I never tried that.. but with her it worked perfectly. I guess right now we just can't trust ourselfs!!! All the best to you.

[aboutime4me]

I think it has alot to do with as so many have said already that we've seen ourselves a certain way for so long...our brain has to catch up with the image in the mirror. Also, I think we secretly harbor the desire to suddenly just have all the weight gone without the time it take in between to get rid of the weight. Just keep mentally telling yourself daily how great you're doing. Don't let the number on the scale dictate how you feel about yourself and how you see yourself in the mirror. We're going for more changes within ourselves OTHER than weight alone. We're doing a complete overhaul here. Great success to you and post those pictures along the journey. You'll see and have that "a ha" moment.

[justme1]

When I look in the mirror I see the "old" me even after losing 78 pounds. My friend and I were out walking and she pointed to a lady that past us and said "you are that same size" I was amazed and couldn't believe I looked that slim...maybe soon I will see myself through "slimmer eyes"

[Tarheel2012]

So much of this surgery is mental (I looked in the mirror and honestly couldn't see the 65 lbs I've lost)! I felt so fat and weird looking....I ran out and almost paid $500 for gym membership to LA Boxing. I had to step back and refocus and stay true to my goal...serious toning once I hit wonderland. The old me would have paid for a membership...and felt better about wasting money rather than actually doing the work to lose weight. The mental can be just as hard as the physical…well at least for me!

[PConde]

Yesterday I actually wore a pair of cargo type shorts that were a size 34. They fit me almost perfectly!!! so why do I feel so fat when I look in the mirror? My wife makes snide remarks when I say how I feel fat and I guess Im supposed to be just quiet about it. I should be so happy being so close to Onederland.

She will come around. Its probably just her way to cope with the new you. Ive lost close to 100 pounds since my surgery and my wife has been supportive but my daily habits are annoying to her, i.e. measuring food , writing it all down, etc... So I can understand the snide remarks O.o .

[Evie Sleevie]

I'm with Lea... I have always looked in the mirror and said, "Damn baby, you are fiiiiiiiiiiine!" and then I would see a picture of myself and say, "Who is that huge woman wearing my clothes??" I want medical science to study that part of my brain after I die! The opposite of body dysmorphia.