The Two of Us

[bigred_tl]

MY wife and I are having surgery this month and I am a little worried. I am not worried about the surgery or the changes, what i am worried about is my wife getting discouraged. i am worried sence i am a male and larger that my weight may come off faster than hers and it might mess with her mentally. she has enough stress at work (she is the boss) and i would hate for that to add. we have been married for 11 yrs (going out 15) and i will do everything i can to help her.

Question is: is there anyone that has had the surgery with a loved one that you live with and what are some things that have happened.

Thanks

[cowgirljane]

It is about guaranteed your weight will come off faster! I don't have experience with this, but suggest really talking it through. One thing to think about too is focusing on "percentage of excess weight loss". So, if she has 100# to lose and you have 200# to lose.... when you have each lost 10% of your excess - that is 20# for you and 10# for her. I suspect you will STILL lose faster even measuring based on percentages, but at least it is a more comparable baseline.

Good luck - I am really happy with the results so far and I just try not to calculate out anybody's numbers but my own.... I feel happy with how i am doing and don't want my view changed just because someone else seems to be "doing better"

[Feeross]

My husband and I had surgery on the same day. He did lose weight faster than me but it didn't bother me like I thought it would because I could see my own progress. Hopefully she will be just as proud of you as you will be of her. To me it has been great being able to go through this together. The surgery was a little tough on my hubby because the anesthesia made him very nauseous. But overall and in time this has been the best thing for both of us! He is losing more weight but my curves are showing alot better! Good luck you guys this is the start of a new life for you two!! And Dr. Almanza and his staff are great!

[Binks]

I know 3 couples who tackled this surgery together. For two of them, the husbands did indeed lose weight faster. Your wife will have to remember (and you lovingly remind her) that you as a male do not have as many fat cells as we women do--we were designed to have more curves! I love that you are concerned about her and this situation. Just keep being there for her, remember the little things mean a whole lot, and be her cheerleader all along the way. And share even your failures along this journey with her....

[Feeross]

By the way we just moved to NY from Lawton,OK so welcome neighbor!

[itsmytime]

hey Bigred-
I don't have direct experience with this but have you tried to talk to her about this? Let her know that you are concerned since you are heavier and are male that the weight might come off faster and that you are worried it may discourage her. I am sure she will realize that heavier people, especially males, lose faster. I bet if you talk to her and relay your concerns to her that it might help. I have seen a few other couple sleevers on here and I am sure they can chime in.

[itsmytime]

By the way we just moved to NY from Lawton,OK so welcome neighbor!

Cool, I go to lawton sometimes. My dad's side of the family lives up there. I really like visiting when I get the chance. Are you all military?

[Feeross]

Former military, but Lawton has been home to me for the past 18 yrs! I actually was just there last week I go back as often as possible!

[Candis the Beautiful]

Perhaps if the two of had other things to be competitive about... like who can walk farther or faster? who can put together the least-calorie yet healthiest meal? etc... it is hard to keep one's head off the scale, so perhaps just not weighing together or only sharing numbers once every 6 weeks or so?

Also, try to set the tone of "WE" have lost so and so amount of weight... not just you or her... team effort. "Team So-and-so has lost ____ lbs!"

hope this helps...

[~BookDiva~]

bigred_tl - Welcome Okie neighbor! All good suggestions above...you sound like a very supportive spouse, if she seems to get discouraged once in awhile when the lbs drop faster for you, remember that to us ladies, complements are audible diamonds. We love to hear that you notice our loss, how nice we look, etc. I think it's awesome you are doing it together!

[bigred_tl]

yea we talk about it and we will continue talking about it, but i know her and i know she will let stuff get to her and she bottles it up. we will just have to wait and see how it goes. it hard to predict what will happen but you got to hope for the best