Sex and the Vertical Sleeve

[leona]

Me too 2 exes all beacause I'm a fat (insert any foul name here)

[Dena]

Let me throw another point of view out there. My husband and I have been married 25 years. Love the man dearly! We have both always battled weight issues but through it all have maintained a good sex life. He has wanted me always no matter what size I was and I was nevery physically turned off by his size. However, I have always been the one who hated being heavy, dieted constantly, was always working to lose. He hasn't tried to lose an ounce in 15 years. He has every comorbidity you can name. We spend thousands per month on medications even with insurance. He just keeps eating and eating. So, yes there are times when I pull away and don't want to have sex with him but it's not because of his size it's because I'm frustrated and angry that he's doing this to himself. I'm pissed that I watched my dad die from diabetes so I know what my future holds in taking care of my husband and he will do nothing to improve his health. So, if any of you are feeling rejection from your mate remember that it may not be how you look it may be them having difficulty with their own emotions. Just a thought....

[angel2206]

Any time I have ever been in a relationship and not wanted the other person sexually it was because I was mad at them for something that had zero to do with anything physical- disappointment, feeling neglected, mad at them for something they've been doing (as said above, may be something they are doing to themselves). I can't imagine it being purely physical, although at some point that plays a part, too.

[AlienMomInKY]

I don't think it is immature, stephintexax. Feelings are what they are...not right or wrong! I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to expect him to LOVE you, even if you have a big arse! LOL! However, it might be unreasonable for him to feel the same drive to have sex, IMHO. My husband is such an optimist. He is hoping that I will want sex "all the time" after I get a few more pounds off! LOL! I hope his dreams come true!

[VSGOct2011]

I've been blessed with a man who's been hot & horny for me whether I was a size 7 (back in the beginning) or a size 24 (when I started the road to weightloss & the sleeve). We've had an emotional connection and no matter what weight we've been able to have intimacy. I think if any time in there it's been a slump over the last 23 years, it's been my own discomfort with my weight, and physical fatigue from all the weight I was carrying. I'm a fan of Dr Phil and I believe he talks about relationships and the fact that a relationship will have it's natural ups and downs and that most couples will survive those downs if at that time one of the partners is still 'in love' with the other and ready to fight for the relationship. Those relationships are at risk for falling apart only when both parties fall out of love with the other at the same time. I thank God every day that I have a man who has stayed with me 'thick or thin' and thankfully it's now getting 'thinner'. I hope you both fall 'in love' with each other all over again!

[Caseyjoenz]

I am just curious...how long is the wait after surgery to have sex again?

5 days

[Jewel]

you go Casey! I thought I was bold at 7 days! lol..
I have also been blessed with a hubby (of 18 years) that has loved me, and wanted me, just the same whether I was at my smallest or my biggest. I was always the one pushing him away because I was so incredibly miserable with myself. I was embarassed for him to look at me much less touch my blubber. I was so looking forward to giving him his wife back, that it actually played a great big role in my final decision to have the surgery. (I debated it for almost 4 years) I had had enough of making excuses and denying him what he begged for because I hated myself.. it was just so stupid and harmful to our relationship...
NOW?! We're like high school kids again. The quantity is incredible and the quality? Holy crap..